After more than three decades in Nelson Bay, Miggy the Big White Whale has migrated to Anna Bay. This happy-go-lucky chap can now be found outside Irukandji Shark & Ray Encounters.

He’s already made quite a splash!

Back in the 90s, Greenpeace presented Miggy to local legend Frank Future, to thank him for his help in protecting our marine friends. He plonked the white wonder by the side of Nelson Bay Rd, to promote his company, Imagine Cruises.

Frank named him after Migaloo, the beloved all-white humpback whale that was often seen in the region’s pristine waters.

A few people were seen blubbering when Miggy moved on, but no matter where he lives – you’ll have a whale of a time with this fifty-foot-long fish!

Gettin’ Jiggy with Miggy

Call me Bigs Bardot. Some weeks ago – never mind how long precisely – having little or no money and nothing particular to interest me on Netflix during those dark days between the final episode of Squid Game Season 2 and the premiere of Squid Game Season 3, I thought I would ride my Vespa about a little and see some oversized roadside attractions.

It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation, but mainly it’s just totally fun to hang out with giant birds and huge bits of fruit.

There are certain queer times in this strange mixed affair through the Land of the Bigs when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke. And so it felt when, as I swaggered through Anna Bay, I happened upon a tiny alien silhouetted against the ocean.

Captain Gordon did not feel the wind, or smell the salt air. He only stood, staring at the horizon, with the marks of some inner crucifixion and woe deep in his face. He was also wearing the most adorable knitted cardigan!

Long story short, Gordon had spent his life searching for a great white whale. It consumed him, and he couldn’t eat or sleep until he found this massive mammal. The little alien seemed to be able to drink, though, because he was slurring his words and trying to kiss me.

“Gordon,” I told him, clutching his furry hand. “Your life’s journey has come to an end, because Miggy the Big Whale is just up the road. We can even get some jalapeño poppers on the way.”

“Bigs,” he spouted, “The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run.”

“So that’s a no to the jalapeño poppers, then?”

The early bird gets the sperm whale

It’s not easy doubling a boozed-up alien on a Vespa, especially when he keeps repeating ‘Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents’ beds, unerringly I rush.’

We were going to see a massive marine creature, so I didn’t get the porpoise of his ramblings.

Fortunately, after passing The Big Red Bug and Bakker’s Big Peach, we found Miggy. I was smitten by his roguish good looks and cheeky smile. He’s built onto a trailer, meaning this oversized fish can splash around wherever he wants to.

It was all a bit much for Gordon, though. The Anna Bay Whale swam before him as the monomaniac incarnation of all those malicious agencies which some furry little aliens feel eating in them, till they are left living on with half a heart and half a lung. Or something like that.

Gordon piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole alien species; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it. It was a clear breach of the ‘Do Not Climb’ sign.

“To the last I grapple with thee,” Gordon whaled. “From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee.” The poor little fella had obviously had too much excitement for one day, so I popped him on the Vespa and, thankfully, he fell asleep on the way home.

The next morning Gordon had forgotten all about his desperate search for the white whale and had decided his newest lifelong obsession was to see the Big Apple Pie. Yes, it’s quite a story, and I only am escaped alone to tell thee about the extraordinary Moby Big… erm, Miggy the Big Whale.