Love is in the air, everywhere in Canberra town
Love is in the air, no native bird has a frown
And I don’t know feather I’m being foolish
Don’t know feather I’m being wise
But Big Galah love’s something I believe in
Beak-ause they’re making out in front of my eyes
As a hopeless romantic who aches to discover love, the allure of Australia’s most passionate Big Things proved irresistible. The Big Kissing Galahs, on the northern outskirts of Canberra, are forever perched on the precipice of a tender pashing sesh. Will they, won’t they? With my heart racing and palms sweating, I had to find out!
Unveiled at a galah event in 2013, the lascivious lovers were the passion project of artists Bev Hogg and Elizabeth Patterson. The Galahs mark the entrance to a modern planned community, and supposedly represent the concept of new families nesting in the area. Well, that’s better than the concept of new families pooing all over cars. Eight years on, their lust burns brighter than ever.
Wearing a freshly-pressed tunic and festive hat, I approached the bawdy birds to see if there was room for me, cocka-too. I leant in to join the smooching session, as every bird in every tree in the world sung a symphony for this moment. Alas, as has happened so many times in my life, I was shunned by those I loved the most, and the shattered shards of my heart were scattered on the spring breeze.
Coming up: More galah-rious jokes!
Fortunately my alien chum Gordon Shumway was on hand to pick me up off the ground. Not only did he provide me with the consolation prize of a few quick pecks, but he later took me to Fyshwick so I could pick out some sparklers. Sure, they weren’t the fireworks I’d hoped to see, but it was a nice gesture.
Oh well, maybe I’ll have better luck with the Big Kookaburra. Or Pete the Pelican. Or the Big Penguin. Or Stanley. Or the Big Parrot. Or the Big Chook. Or Chinute Chinute. Or even the Big Powerful Owl, who lives just down the road in Belconnen. There are plenty more birds in the sky!
I visited the Galahs briefly on my way out of Canberra, and became ensconced in the sweet melancholy of what they have, and what I fear I shall never find. However, even though they crushed my soul, I’m happy for their happiness. If things go the way I think they will, expect some little Big Galahs in about nine months time!
Please note: The incubation period for galahs is approximately 25 days, however I changed this to nine months for humorous effect. Also, it’s unlikely the Big Kissing Galahs will breed as a little birdie told me they’re both male… although he may have been a lyrebird.
