Category: Big Birds

  • The Golden Goose, Las Vegas, Nevada

    The Golden Goose, Fremont Street, Las Vegas, Nevada

    You’d have to be a goose to miss out on this Big Thing! So join me as we take a gander at the legendary Golden Goose in Downtown Las Vegas.

    Looking dapper in her festive purple cap, the enormous critter perfectly embodies the playfulness and passion of Sin City.

    She’s also easy to find, so you won’t have to go on wild goose chase. The roadside attraction is perched precipitously atop a pompously-hued shipping container on the dusty corner of Fremont Street and 10th Street.

    Just head past The World’s Largest Fire Hydrant and step over the screaming homeless person.

    This unassuming corner of Vegas is only a few hundred (webbed) feet from where the Golden Goose was originally located. She was built by the YESCO sign company in 1975, and rotated proudly above the casino of the same name at 20 Fremont Street. Not surprisingly, she made an immediate impact – in the most dramatic way possible.

    “Just one day after the Goose was installed, it flew its coop,” hooted Herb Pastor, who owned the casino. “The Goose toppled off its ledge, falling to the ground, smashing a car parked at the curb.

    “It narrowly missed a couple of people on the sidewalk. Luckily no-one was hurt. It was right then I knew I was in for some good luck.”

    I’m not sure the owner of the car thought it was quite so lucky, Herbie, you silly goose!

    For decades, the smiling Goose was the last thing punters saw before blowing their life saving on blackjack. Then things took a seedy turn when the casino was converted into a notorious strip club: the disturbingly-named Girls of Glitter Gulch.

    What sort of creepo would want to leer at scantily-clad women when there’s a perfectly good honker outside to drool over?

    Goose on the Loose

    The Golden Goose swanned about on the rooftop until 2017, when the building was levelled to make way for the brand new Circa Resort.

    The world-class hotel may offer an Asian fusion restaurant and a rooftop bar, but apparently an oversized chicken didn’t match their sleek aesthetic. It looked to be a fowl end for this beautiful Big.

    Then along came Tony Hsieh and the gang from DTP Companies – the troupe dedicated to revitalising Downtown Las Vegas – who were determined to rescue this beloved piece of Americana.

    Honestly, I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

    “We were told if we could pick it up, we could take it,” DTP marketing director Bill Kennedy told a bemused reporter. “It was heavily damaged. People kicked in the lightbulbs. It was expensive to move and restore. But we didn’t want to see it end up in a private collection. It belongs where the public can enjoy it.”

    The Golden Goose was given a fresh lick of paint, and her damaged eggs were swapped out for new ones. Thankfully, DTP were willing to foot the bill!

    Windows were even drilled in the side of the shipping container, allowing thrillseekers to peek in to see hundreds – perhaps thousands – of golden eggs inside.

    The old girl was saved and so, in turn, was Downtown Las Vegas.

    I guess she really is the goose that laid the golden egg!

    That thing in there… it’s not the Goose. Oh wait, yes it is the Goose

    The Golden Goose is open seven days a beak, so Bigella and I visited on a crisp Sunday morning. You know what they say – the early bird catches the historic roadside attraction!

    Her location is rustic, but pleasant – although there is a feeling of impermanence. The Golden Goose, I feel, shall migrate to another location in the near future.

    This grand old dame is now much easier to take a photo with than when she lived in Glitter Gulch. There’s plenty of space to set up a tripod, and Bigella wasted no time snuggling in for a happy snap while I set up the camera.

    “Well, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!” I cheered, waddling into the photo.

    “Apparently the Goose used to play You Spin Me Round as it rotated on the container,” I frowned, looking at the very stationary, very silent critter. “There’s also meant to be a ‘fun button’ to push, but I wasn’t able to find it.”
    “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Bigella shrugged.

    Enraptured by the bird’s grandeur, her pithy comment was lost on me. We goosed around for a few more photos, until we took flight when a hobo in a cowboy hat (and not much else) shambled towards us.

    “I’ve only got one question,” piped up Bigella as we raced off down Fremont Street.
    “What’s that?” I queried.
    “Why isn’t the Golden Goose, uh, golden?”

  • El Quetzal, Ciudad de Guatemala

    El Quetzal, Zona Portales, Ciudad de Guatemala

    Ciudad de Guatemala – the volcano-crowned Central American megacity with a heart of gold – was once a verdant valley teeming with wild creatures. Most stunning of all was the quetzal, a green-and-crimson bird of unrivalled beauty.

    The princely parrot pranced through the azure skies over this paradise, a symbol of hope for the happy little Guatemalans below.

    These days the city is a buzzing metropolis and a true cultural hub. There are five-star restaurants and overcrowded fried chicken shops. World-class fashion boutiques and labyrinthine street markets. Prodigious puppies and towering teeth.

    But the ancient forest has been covered by concrete, the animals driven up into the mountains. And, sadly, there are no quetzals.

    Wellllll… except for El Quetzal. The shining silver squawker can be found in the middle of a roundabout at the Zona Portales shopping centre, on the north-east fringe of the city.

    Óscar Porras, the world-renowned Guatemalan artist, created this majestic sculpture as a love letter to his homeland. At 10 metres from plinth to punkish silver mohawk, El Quetzal has towered over his surroundings since 2013.

    More than a decade later, locals still flock to see him!

    The handsome hooter was carefully constructed from brick and stainless steel, which ‘Óssie’ rescued from the brickyard that once stood on the site of the shops.

    The cute quetzal is said to embody the spirit of the legendary Mayan warrior – and Guatemalan folk hero – Tecún Umán.

    Maybe he should change his name to Tweet-ún Uman – teehee!

    Let’s quet physical, physical!

    Óssie Porras is a self-taught sculptor, who’s becoming a big deal in the world of oversized roadside architecture. A little birdie told me El Quetzal isn’t the only Big of his at Zona Portales.

    He created a huge statue of R2D2 – you know, the walking garbage bin from Star Wars. Óssie’s also spread his wings to build two immense warriors known as Guerreros Futuristas.

    “Se trabaja con piezas de máquinas industriales como engranajes, cadenas, cilindros, cargadores, todo lo que sea reciclado y que tenga un enfoque industrial”, Óssie explained.

    I’m fluent in Guatemalan, so he’s saying that he likes working with gears, chains, and anything else that has an industrial focus. Or it might be his order at the local Chinese restaurant, I’m not quite sure.

    Óssie was kind enough to plonk El Quetzal out the front of the popular Megapaca clothing emporium, where some of the more outlandish locals go to buy their duds.

    After admiring El Quetzal, I bought a pair of sequinned slacks, whilst Gordon splashed out on an ornate Mayan headdress. By the time we finished, we looked as vibrant as the massive bird out the front.

    We couldn’t help ourselves – the prices are so cheep!

  • The Cowra Eagle, Cowra, NSW

    The Cowra Eagle, Cowra, New South Wales, Australia

    Rising above his surroundings like a Soviet phoenix, The Cowra Eagle serves as a tribute to the wedge-tailed wonders of Western NSW. With his barrel chest and piercing gaze, this Big has watched over his comrades since 1972.

    No wonder he’s the hawk of the town!

    The majestic creature was conceived and designed by the ever-affable Don Kibbler. Inspired by Cowra Council’s original corporate seal from 1888 – which featured a joyful eagle resting atop a cluster of rocks – he set about creating a landmark all Cowrans could be proud of.

    Don turned to talon-ted ironmonger Colin Cranny, of local company Lachlan Steel, to fabricate the Eagle. The sinewy legs were donated by the generous Dick Murney, and were made from two bore casings.

    The end result was a real sight for soar eyes – but the Eagle was missing a certain je ne sais quoi. He was originally built without his ‘shoulders’, and these were tacked on by prominent Cowra signwriter Peter Slattery.

    Tourists swooped into town in their thousands to sit in his shadow, surrounded by roses and marinating in the sweet sound of birdsong.

    When the new Visitor’s Centre was built in 1987, the Eagle was moved to his current position closer to the main road – without the rocks to cover his shapely pins. Many a feather was ruffled by the show of skin, but there are no claws against that.

    Let’s Go Where Eagles Dare!

    “Woh-oh-oh
    Come on fast, you can come on slow
    I’m just crazy ’bout the way we move
    Doin’ the Cowra Eagle Rock.”

    Gordon was in high spirits as we swaggered out of McDonald’s, Oreo-encrusted McFlurrys in hand, and sauntered towards The Cowra Eagle. He’d been yodelling along to his Daddy Cool cassette for days leading up to our visit, but his voice trailed off the moment he saw the avant-garde avian.

    We stood there, ice cream dripping down chins, in gobsmacked silence. Even amongst the towering liquidambars, the winged wunderkind rules the roost. The Eagle’s raw construction and brutalist lines seem, at first, more at home in some snow-swept Russian hellhole – but he retains an undeniable 70s sense of fun.

    This a Big who would look great with an afro wig perched atop his head. Make it happen, Cowra Council!

    Though unique in his design, The Cowra Eagle is just one of many oversized birds found across the Land of the Bigs. New South Wales is home to The Big Chook, The Big Kookaburra, Stanley, Charlie, The Big Bowerbird and Canoli. There’s Pelican Pete, Katey Seagull, The Big Parrot and The Big Honeyeater in Queensland. Bruno, Chickaletta, The Big Kingfisher, The Big Emus and another Eagle all live in Victoria. And, of course, Tasmania’s Big Penguin.

    As Gordon and I spread our wings for these photos, a young girl and her grandfather wandered over.
    “Look at that bald eagle,” gasped the child, pointing in our direction.
    “Fascist!” shouted Gordon.
    “Yeah, my closely-cropped hairstyle is a fashion choice,” I sneered. “I could grow it out any time I want.”
    “Fascist!” Gordon repeated.

    I doubt he knew the meaning of the term, bless him, but it’s the unbridled hatred that counts.

  • The Big Kingfisher, Strathfieldsaye, VIC

    The Big Kingfisher, Strathfieldsaye, Victoria, Australia

    Amidst the rolling glens and castle-like homesteads of the sprawling Imagine Estate, an enormous kingfisher surveys his kingdom. This steel-and-perspex critter was built by gifted artist Folko Kooper and, perched high above a billabong, offers a breathtaking photo opportunity for all Bigs-thusiasts.

    Pleased with my happy snaps – my light grey shirt really popped against the native flora – I prepared to leave the park when an unusually hairy gentleman, bereft of shirt, invited me to lay down beside him on the estate’s lush grass. Wriggling a little closer, his unkempt beard tickling my cheeks, the man presented me with a toothy grin.

    “Bigs, did you ever hear the story of the Fisher King?” he asked.

    “Don’t you mean the kingfisher?” I replied, gesturing towards the giant, blue-and-brown bird perched above us.

    “Kingfisher, Fisher King, I always get that front to back,” the screwball squawked. “Anyway, the story begins with the brightly-coloured kingfisher as a chick, having to spend the night alone in the forests of Strathfieldsaye, to prove his courage so he can become king of the entire medium-density housing development.”

    “Ooh, I wish I had some popcorn,” I cooed, snuggling in closer to the shaggy street urchin. “This is getting good.”

    Hail to the Kingfisher

    “Now, while he’s spending the night alone, the little bird is visited by a most unusual vision of a fire,” my chum chirped. “Out of the fire appears the Holy Grail, symbol of God’s divine grace. And a voice said to the kingfisher, ‘You shall be keeper of the Grail, so that it may heal the hearts of all the world’s winged creatures.’”

    “Oh me, oh my!” I piped up. “I had similar delusions after I ate a whole tray of lasagne right before bed!”

    “But the kingfisher was blinded by greater visions of a life filled with power, and glory, and beauty. And in this state of radical amazement, he felt for a brief moment not like an average-sized bird, but like a really, really big bird – like The Big Kookaburra…”

    “Or the The Big Pheasant? The Big Eagle? The…”

    “Yes, Bigs, that’s quite enough of that. So the bird reached into the fire to take the Grail, and the Grail vanished, leaving him with his wing in the fire, to be terribly wounded.”
    “Golly, this sounds like it’s getting a bit gruesome for Land of the Bigs!”

    “Now as this bird grew older, his wound grew deeper,” the crackpot continued. “Until one day, life for him lost its reason. He had no faith in any avian. Not even himself. He couldn’t love, or feel loved. He was sick with experience, and he began to die.”

    “Criminy,” I wept. “That’s exactly how I felt when they tore down The Big Pineapple.”

    “Really, Bigs, can we go five minutes without hearing about The Big Pineapple?”

    The Last Kingfisher of Bendigo

    “One day, a fool wandered into the estate, and found the kingfisher alone by the entrance to the carefully-landscaped Emu Garden,” the teller of tales tweeted. “And being a fool, he didn’t see a king of birds. He only saw a bird alone, and in pain. And he asked the kingfisher, ‘What ails you, friend?’

    “The kingfisher replied, ‘I’m thirsty – I need some water to cool my throat.’ So the fool took a cup, filled it with water, and handed it to the creature. As the kingfisher began to drink, he realised his wound was healed! He looked in his wings, and there was the Holy Grail, that which he sought all his life. And he turned to the fool and said with amazement, ‘How can you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?’

    “And the fool replied, ‘I don’t know. I only knew that you were thirsty.’”

    The two of us lay back in silence, allowing the enormity of the story to wash over us. I turned to my new friend and when I did, his eyes were deep and blue and crinkled in the corners.

    “And that’s why they decided to build a statue of kingfisher here?” I whispered. “So that the people of Strathfieldsaye shall never forget that what they yearn for may harm as well as heal? That redemption can be found in the unlikeliest of places?”

    “No,” the vagrant shrugged. “Some suit in Melbourne probably picked it out of a catalogue in order to give the place some semblance of character. I just like the story.”

    And with that the hobo sat up, brushed the grass from his shoulders, and wandered off into the labyrinthine streets of Greater Bendigo, never to be seen again.

  • Mike the Headless Chicken, Fruita, CO

    Mike the Headless Chicken, Fruita, Colorado, United States of America

    Have you been running round like a headless chicken in search of roadside attractions? Then strut over to Fruita, Colorado, where you’ll find a bonkers statue dedicated to Mike the Headless Chicken!

    The bizarre story of a chook who lived for 18 months after having his noggin lopped off – and went on to become a national celebrity – has long enthralled locals and visitors alike. A four-foot effigy to Mike, lovingly created by local artist Lyle Nichols, can be found outside the Aspen Street Coffee Co on the town’s leafy main street.

    There’s no need to walk around on eggshells when visiting, because the mother hens at the cafe are really quite lovely. Maybe give the omelettes a miss, though – you might offend Mike.

    The headless heartthrob’s no spring chicken, having been revealed to a bemused gathering of admirers back in March of 2000. Carefully crafted from 300 pounds of old metal farm castoffs, including axe heads and sickle blades, Mike fits in with the many oddball artworks scattered around this quirky village.

    “I made him proud-looking and cocky,” Lyle cock-a-doodle-dooed, before joking that he gave the Fruita chamber of commerce a discount because Mike didn’t have a head.

    Despite living just up the road from another Big, the legendary Grrrreta the Grrrreat Big Dinosaur, Mike certainly rules the roost in Fruita. The locals even throw a festival – or should that be nest-ival? – in his honour every June. With a 5km fun run, chicken dancing competition and displays from the region’s craft breweries, there’s always a few sore heads the next morning.

    But I guess that’s better than having no head at all!

    Where’s Your Head At?

    The legend of Mike the Headless Chicken goes back to September 10, 1945. Fruita chap Lloyd Olsen, long henpecked by his domineering mother-in-law, decided to win her over with a succulent chicken dinner. Taking his prized cock, Mike, into the backyard, Lloyd kissed him goodbye and then lopped off his head with an axe.

    And that’s when things got interesting. Instead of laying down to be served with a side of steamed vegetables, Mike went about his day, strutting around and fluffing up his feathers. Lloyd, who couldn’t believe his cluck, fed the decapitated bird with an eye-dropper. It was then that he saw signing signs.

    Leaving his mother-in-law was unfed, Lloyd scooped up his headless chicken and rushed off to the University of Utah. There, the resident boffins proclaimed that Mike had just enough of a brain stem left to go on as if nothing had happened.

    Well, it’s not as though fully-intact chickens are solving the secrets of the universe, anyway.

    Lloyd hired a manager for Mike, and the bonceless bird immediately beaked the curiosity of the public. Soon he was travelling across America and appearing on the front cover of everything from Life magazine to Bird Fanciers Quarterly. Thousands – if not millions – lost their minds when they chooked him out.

    Mike was the cock of the walk. Tabloids of the day caught him partying with Hollywood bad boy Gregory Peck, and stepping out with actresses Ingrid Birdman and Vivi-hen Leigh. The biggest star since Cluck Gable, many thought him destined. But one should never count one’s chickens – headless or otherwise – before they hatch.

    One windswept night in Arizona, after a year-and-a-half without a head, Mike choked to death on a kernel of corn.

    Beakle-Mania was over. Lloyd’s mother-in-law finally received her chicken feast.

    Mike was immortalised in The Guinness Book of Records (as the longest surviving headless chicken), and the docu-hen-tary Chick Flick: The Miracle Mike Story. Pop royalty penned ballads about him. Mike the Headless Chicken by Sandy Lind lit up the charts, as did Headless Mike by The Radioactive Chicken Heads (An instant celebrity/He toured the country in an auto/Probably the greatest thing/To ever come from Colorado).

    Mike brought newfound respect to chickens worldwide. He inspired other Bigs such as California’s Chicken Boy, and Charlie, Chickeletta and The Big Chook over in Australia.

    Quite a chicken-feat, but nothing serves as a greater tribute to his legacy than the BIG statue in his hometown of Fruita. Cheeky, handsome and truly individual, you’ll have egg on face if you don’t see it!

  • Majestuoso Tecolote, Ciudad de Guatemala

    El Majuesto Tecolote, Ciudad de Guatemala, Guatemala

    Looking to cross a majestic Big off your list and grab a competitively-priced home loan for your Guatemalan chalet at the same time? Then head to any branch of Banco Industrial, where you might find El Majestuoso Tecolote, a festively-decorated owl of epic proportions, right next to the ATM.

    I’m talon you, it’ll be worth the trip!

    Twenty-two of these enormous creatures were created by sculptor Sebastián Barrientos and art critic Christian Cojulún as part of the 2016 TecoArte exhibition, with each decorated by a celebrated local artist. They were funded by the generous bankers and captured the hearts of all Guatemalans – a wing-wing situation for all involved!

    This particular species of Giant Tecolote, found perched in the trendy neighbourhood of Zona 14, was embellished by the enigmatic, offbeat, and always-controversial Lauro Salas – quite a feather in his cap.

    The tecolote – the indigenous name for the nocturnal birds of Central America – represents luck, prosperity and abundance in Guatemalan culture. The locals even store their heard-earned money in ceramic owl banks rather than piggy banks. Sadly, there were no Big Coins to be found inside the Big Bird – cheepskates!

    Irritable Owl Syndrome

    Guatemala City is a zesty metropolis of three million that is, unfortunately, often overlooked in favour of trendier tourists spots like Antigua. For dedicated Big-thusiasts, though, it proves to be one of the world’s great destinations.

    El Majestuoso Tecolote is not owl by himself, with El Quetzal, Priscilla la Silla, Monumento a la Paz, El Diente Gigante and many other Bigs nearby. Ebony y Ivory, a set of brash hummingbirds, are just an hour’s drive south – or less if you can fly! – so it’s certainly no birden to visit Ciudad de Guatemala.

    Hoping to take a happy snap with all the Tecolotes? Then you may spend more time in the city than expected. Unlike Chinute Chinute the Big Owl, who has guarded Darwin’s Supreme Court for many years, the Giant Tecolotes are migratory birds, fluttering between Banco Industrial’s hundreds of branches nationwide.

    Each spends a few months standing proudly in front of a bank, attracting parliaments of budget-conscious admirers, before being loaded onto a truck and whisked, as if by magic, off to another corner of this mystical land.

    The only way to find them all is to glide, heart aflutter, into each and every Banco Industrial location in the country. The owls are endangered, with less and less to be found each year, so it’s nest to look for them as soon as possible. Don’t scowl – go see an owl!

    Beware of searching for Tecolotes in the city’s more dangerous areas, however. You’d hate to be the victim of a drive-by hooting!

  • Ebony y Ivory, Los Pocitos, Guatemala

    Ebony y Ivory, Los Pocitos, Guatemala

    Guatemala is home to a vast array of birdlife, from quetzals to macaws to toucans, earning it a reputation as a feather fancier’s favourite place in Central America.

    For lovers of hummingbirds – known as colibri in the local dialect – Guatamala is without peer. On warm spring afternoons, the air becomes heavy with sound of their hovering. There are 38 varieties of the flamboyant avians, which lay claim to being the world’s smallest.

    But there’s one variety of hummingbird that certainly wouldn’t fit in your hand, and they can only be found in the remote jungle village of Los Pocitos. Twitchers flock to this rustic scrap of concrete, which lays in the shadow of the simmering Volcán Pacaya, to marvel at Ebony y Ivory, Los Colibríes Gigantes.

    Trust me, you won’t need a pair of binoculars to spot these beaky behemoths!

    Frozen in the glory of eternal flight, Ebony y Ivory warmly welcome visitors to the sprawling Finca el Amate ecotourism resort. Chiseled from concrete and loving painted in exotic hues, their beautiful plumage is the personification of Guatemala’s sumptuous natural delights.

    These lusciously curvy critters serve as a commentary on Guatemala’s ethnic diversity, and are a battle cry for racial harmony. If these two birds – one as white as the driven snow, the other as black as the gnarled lava fields that surround the town – can live together in perfect harmony, oh Lord why can’t we?

    Humming the bassline

    As they’re located outside Finca el Amate’s front gate, one need not pay to enter in order to enjoy Ebony y Ivory, but it’s highly recommended to do so. Inside you’ll find mind-boggling Bigs such as the brutally masculine Icus Kanan and the whimsical, oft-misunderstood El Anciano del Bosque. Guat a way to spend an afternoon!

    There are several more humongous hummingbirds scattered around the finca’s verdant parkland, and it’s a joy to wander around, heart aflutter, searching for them. The spiritual home of the Bigs in Guatemala, Finca el Amate proves to be an intoxicating experience that’s sure to titillate visitors of all ages and fitness levels.

    Keep your wits about you, however. There is a herd of elegant, yet somewhat bombastic, horses who roam the complex’s leafy car park. Great for taking fabulous photos of as they frolic past the radiant volcano; not so pleasant to step in their droppings whilst wearing thongs. Gordon, get me a sponge!

    I’m a hummingbird, beautiful and free

    It was whilst scraping some particularly robust droppings off my flip-flop that Gordon gestured to the ornately-arranged stone wall surrounding the birds and we sat down together.

    “Bigs,” he sighed wistfully, “seeing Ebony y Ivory, two disparate species of hummingbird, put their differences to one side in the name of love, makes me mourn the loss of my own interracial relationship.”
    “You’re talking about Brandy Norwood?” I asked gently. “Known mononymously, of course, as Brandy?”

    “Yes. The media labelled us GorBran, but it never really caught on.” Gordon’s shoulders slumped under the weight of perceived failure. “I allowed societal pressure and ingrained colonialism to cloud my judgement and destroy what could have been a beautiful relationship built on mutual love and respect. I wonder if…”

    “The last I heard, Brandy was taking a break from dating after her tumultuous relationship with award-winning pop star Sir the Baptist,” I reasoned.
    “And she did take out a restraining order after that eggnog incident,” the little guy responded.
    “TMZ had a field day.” I took Gordon in my muscular arms and we watched the sun set behind the giant hummingbirds, its rays reflecting on their wings as we reflected upon our failed love lives.

    “You’re not the only one to weep for passion unrequited with a satin-skinned celebrity,” I said tenderly. “Not a moment passes that isn’t filled with endless pining for own stalled relationship with -“

    “Hey, Bigs!” Gordon interrupted, a huge grin spreading across his furry face. “Do you think Grace Jones is available?”

  • Canoli the Cocky, Wagga Wagga, NSW

    Canoli the Cocky, Wagga Wagga, New South Wales, Australia

    Holey moley, check out Canoli! Cheeky, colourful and charismatic, this king-sized cockatoo is as irresistible as the ricotta-laced desert he’s named after. With his devil-may-care attitude and trendsetting mohawk, the wooden Big is widely regarded as the mascot of Wagga Wagga – the town so nice they named it twice.

    Canoli is the crowning achievement of Justin McClelland, a gifted yet enigmatic artist who expresses his unique world view through the medium of chainsaw. In a moment of inspiration, Justin transformed an everyday log into this perky parrot during the 2017 Ganmain Show – a miracle the locals still speak of in hushed tones.

    “I learn every time I start a new project,” Justin told a beguiled reporter from Regional Lifestyle Magazine. “I love timber and working in the bush, but it’s always challenging. When I start the chainsaw, things start to flow and I’m in my own little world.”

    Justin, you really are a cut above the rest!

    He’s cockatoo hot to handle!

    Proving to be as generous as he is talented, Justin gifted his beloved Canoli to the people of Wagga, and he’s guarded the entrance to the city’s picturesque zoo ever since. Though smaller than nearby Bigs such as The Giant and The Playable Guitar, this sulphur-crested heartthrob makes up for it with his rugged good looks, along with a hint – just a hint – of the cocksure swagger alluded to in his name.

    Canoli looks right at home amongst the grass trees, cloaked by the ever-present chatter of native birds. A more peaceful, down-to-Earth Big you could never hope to meet. My much-anticipated journey within the bowels of the zoo, however, was not so tranquil. Looking forward to a quiet morning admiring the emus and peacocks, I was instead accosted by a cantankerous duck named Wendell.

    This insufferable oaf, with his incessant quacking and braggadocious attitude, disrupted what promised to be a life-affirming encounter with the donkeys in the petting zoo. I wanted to feed them some hay!

    I’m not usually one to resort to violence but Justin, if you feel like carving another bird with your chainsaw, I’ll look the other way!

  • Bird in Hand, Jemalong, NSW

    Bird in Hand, Jemalong, New South Wales, Australia

    A bird in hand is worth two in the bush, and Bird in Hand is waaaaaaaaay out in the bush! Handcrafted by sculptor Mike Van Dam, this beautifully-manicured chainlink mitt can be found near Jemalaong, by the side of the endless Lachlan Valley Way. It’s a glovely quiet spot on the edge of the outback, so there’s not a lot of palm trees around.

    Whether you’re finger-male or female, this exquisite statue is the perfect place to stop for a well-earned wrist, or simply paws for a moment of quiet introspection. The juxtaposition of rugged, industrial steel against the gentle brown and green hues of the wilderness makes for a striking visage that is, hands down, one of the most memorable and unique experiences Australia offers – pinkie promise!

    “This sculpture reminds viewers that we need to preserve and protect this important environment,” Mike clapped to a flummoxed reporter, “and its future state, such as native birds and all fauna, are in our hands.”

    The sweet, wattle-scented air cloaking the 6.5 metre, 3.5 tonne hand – which cradles a great white egret – is heavy with the cascading trill of waterbirds. Goannas, clinging to gently-swaying gum trees, peer out upon the vast and ancient land. That should be enough to hold your attention!

    Everybody’s hear about The Bird (in Hand)

    Mike really knuckled-down for this project, which he completed single-handedly. The amount of work that went into it really is mind-thumbing.

    “This piece was made from 1600 meters of 10mm, 316 marine-grade, stainless steel chain, with 38 links per meter and 4 welds per link,” Mike enthused. “This equates to just over 243,000 welds, which took eight months to complete.”

    My apologies if any of those statistics are incorrect – I’m relying on second-hand information here.

    Bird in Hand isn’t the fist Big between Forbes and Condobolin. Varanus and Heart of Country are also elbowing in on the action along the mesmerising Sculpture Down the Lachlan trail. When complete, 25 oversized artworks will be dotted along the remote stretch of road. It can be hard to come to grips with how exciting this is!

    There’s also a global arms race going on, with Big Hands in England, Ireland, Uruguay and Guatemala. All together now, ‘We’ve got a whole world of Big Hands!’

    Won’t someone lend me a helping (Bird in) Hand

    As the setting sun transformed the steel girders that make up Bird in Hand into an ethereal silhouette, Gordon and I realised that we’d lost hours exploring the sculpture’s intricacies.

    Rather than set off into the desert in the inky twilight, we settled in for a night in the bush, amidst a cacophony of bird calls, insect squeaks, and marsupial meanderings. Out here, in the ancient and eternal soul of the country, everything is alive. Even the statue seemed to bend and sway and worship the sky as the light moved over it.

    With a distinct lack of Michelin-starred restaurants in Jemalong, Gordon and I feasted on a smorgasbord of witchetty grubs and dung beetles as the stars and planets and comets rolled out above us. Ah, you’ve gotta love finger food!

  • The Big Emus, Strathfieldsaye, VIC

    The Big Emus, Strathfieldsaye, Victoria, Australia

    Let me tell you of an interview with The Real Big Emu
    He’s one of the most gorgeous Big Things, but the poor old fella ain’t got no wings
    Aren’t you jealous of The Big Wedge-Tailed Eagle? – dom ba da little da da da

    “While the eagle’s design is very sound, I keep my two feet firmly on the ground
    I can’t fly, but I’m telling you, I can run the pants off Kat the Kangaroo”.

    Doo dee ba doo doo doo, boo da Ugg Boot doo doo doo
    He can’t fly, but I’m telling you, he can run the pants off The Tassie Devil, too

    Well he was the model for the fifty cents – oom ba da little da da da
    Even though Stanley might’ve made more sense – oom ba da little da da da
    “If you take a look, it’ll prove to you, I ran the pants off Matilda the Kangaroo

    Doo dee ba doo doo doo, boo da Bigfoot doo doo
    Take a look it’ll prove to you, he can run the pants off The Big Koala, too

    You’re a bigger nerd than The Big Bowerbird – Oom ba da little da da da
    And you’re not as pleasant as Bruno the Pheasant – Oom ba da little da da da
    “You silly galah, I’m better by far, than The Big Honeyeater or that chook that sells cars;
    They squeak and squawk and try to talk, I have more in common with those really big forks

    Ba da da doo dee ba doo doo doo…Boo da da doot doo doo doo
    He can’t fly but I’m telling you, he’s almost as large as The Big Shoe

    Well the last time I saw The Real Big Emu – Oom ba da little da da da
    He was in Imagine Estate with a female he knew – Oom ba da little da da da
    As he swaggered past I heard him say, “She can’t fly, but I’m telling you
    She could run the pants off The Big Poo

    Ba da da doo dee ba doo doo doo doo dee ba doo doo doo… The Big Strawberry’s in Koonoomoo!
    She’s can’t fly but I’m telling you, she can run the pants off Katey Seagull, too

    Well there is a moral to this ditty – Oom ba da little da da da
    Chickaletta can’t sing even though she’s pretty – Oom ba da little da da da
    Pelican Pete can swim, but he can’t sing, nor can The Pigeon on the wing
    Emu can’t fly, but I’m telling you, he can run the pants off The Big Moo-Moo

    Well the kookaburra laughed and said “It’s true, oom ba da little da da da,
    Ha Ha Ha Humpty Doo, He can dance the pants off Chinute Chinute, too!”

    Thanks to Aussie rock icon – and self-confessed Big Thing tragic – John Williamson, and his legendary ditty Old Man Emu for the inspiration. Can’t wait to catch up again soon, John!

  • The Big Pigeon, Adelaide, SA

    The Big Pigeon, Adelaide, South Australia

    Trundle down Rundle Mall any day of the beak, and you’ll flappen upon the peck-tacular Big Pigeon. The elegant, mirrored bird was lovingly crafted by local artist Paul Sloan and strutted into town in late-2020. Adelaidians, not surprising, have been cooing and ahhing at him ever since.

    Despite his flashy looks, he’s a bashful chap and the epitome of the boy nest door. The Big Pigeon cost a very reasonable $174,000, which begs the question of why the local council haven’t created an entire flock of delightfully large birds.

    Sublimely melding the cheeky nature of pigeons with the confrontingly angular architecture Adelaide’s famous for, he demands passersby pause for a moment of quiet reflection amongst the hustle and bustle of this burgeoning world city.

    A little bird told me that Paul Sloan’s lifelong fascination for pigeons inspired his genre-defying steel masterpiece – which is a feather in his cap as far as I’m concerned.

    “I see pigeons as proud flaneurs, promenading through our leisure and retail precincts,” the virtuoso pontificated. “They are the quiet witnesses of our day-to-day activities in the city, our observers from day through to night.”

    Thank you, Paul Sloan, for allowing me to have a birds-eye view of your passion project.

    Birds of a feather go BIG together

    Widely regarded as the most handsome chap in Adelaide (quite a feat considering that Scotty the Big Scotsman is just up the road), The Big Pigeon isn’t completely u-beak. He’s a dead winger for an equally-dovely feathered friend in Blackpool, England – Big Bird.

    You might say that I’m obsessed with oversized representations of this particular breed of bird, but that’s not true! I’ve also had dalliances with The Big Kookaburra, The Big Chook, The Big Parrot and Chinute Chinute.

    Then there’s Katey Seagull, Stanley the Emu, the Big Eagle and Charlie.

    And Bruno. And The Big Galahs. Oh, and the deceptively nimble Chickaletta.

    Feeling sweet? Then fall in loooove with the The Big Honeyeater! Wanna cash some cans at the same time? The Big Bowerbird is for you!

    Let’s not forget The Big Pelican in Loxton! And Pelican Pete in Noosaville!

    Aaaand the incomparable, transcendent, utterly sublime Big Penguin!

    So don’t pigeonhole me, buddy!

    What’s dong with people these days?

    Trigger warning: The following passage contains graphic depictions of pigeon abuse and general naughtiness. As Land of the Bigs is a family website, I implore you to cover your little one’s eyes before delving any further. You’re welcome.

    The brave, regal Big Pigeon is a shining symbol of everything magical and innocent and proud and wonderful that Adelaide has to offer. That didn’t stop him, however, from running afowl of a depraved pervert with a massive pecker.

    The lunatic – probably high on cheap lollies and red cordial and without a pigeon of concern for the public’s wellbeing – attached what is commonly known as a ‘dildo’ to the front of the gentle fellow. This contraption, which apparently takes the form of a frighteningly-accurate representation of male genitalia, seems to have been placed there as a lark. You could’ve knocked me down with a feather when I found out!

    So enraged were the people of Adelaide that they rioted through the streets for several weeks hence, looking to capture the cretin responsible and toss him, squealing like the pig he was, into the River Torrens. Pigeon Lives Matter, you know!

    I’m going to remain tight-beaked about whether I was involved in the sicko’s disappearance, but let’s just say there are plenty of barrels to pop a pigeon molester into – teehee!

    Oh, and if you’re looking for the dildo, it’s long since been removed. It’s not in any of the bins around Rundle Mall, it hasn’t been tossed into any bushes, and none of the shopkeepers know where it ended up. Trust me, I asked.

  • The Big Pelican, Loxton, SA

    The Big Pelican, Loxton, South Australia

    Peli-can you imagine anything more de-flight-ful than this wonderful waterbird? No, I don’t bill-ieve you can! The Big Pelican is the main attraction of South Australia’s verdant Riverland region, and has a story more wing-credible than you can imagine.

    With a personality even larger than his beak, The Big Pelican has long been the darling of Loxton’s robust social scene. He’s vivacious and outgoing with a slight bad boy edge, and always the centre of attention.

    The Big Pelican is the sort of guy all the dusky moorhens want, and all the dollarbirds want to be.

    Those empathetic (and tall!) enough to have stared into his deep, caramel eyes, however, may have discovered something more; the sweet melancholy of dreams unrealised. For whilst he touched millions of hearts and lived a rockstar lifestyle, all The Big Pelican really wanted was to paddle along the Murray River with his normal-sized mates.

    The gentle caress of cool water on his tasty tootsies seemed little more than a flight of fancy. But then, in late-2022, a miracle happened.

    Whatever floats your boat

    Like many of the more sociable Bigs, such as Lefty, Matilda and Victoria’s Clownfish, the Pelican began life as an oversized parade float. The Loxton Mardi Gras had long lured in revellers but, thanks to the arrival of The Big Pelican, it was the 1979 edition that turned the town into a must-visit party destination.

    Move over, Rio de Janeiro! Your carnivale seems like fun, but it doesn’t have a four-metre-long aquatic chicken!

    Local chap John Draper was the visionary who came up with the idea to trundle a papier-mâché pelican through the town’s streets. Inspired, perhaps, by Pelican Pete up in Queensland, he brought in Glenn Butson and Bruce Graham to help build the behemoth, with Charlotte Thiele adding a lick of paint. Bird fanciers swarmed in to ooh and ahh at his grandeur (the Pelican, that is, not John Draper – although I’m sure he’s a very handsome man).

    The humongous heron was also the star of the 1980 Mardi Gras, but apparently the good people of Loxton partied just a little too hard. Abandoned on a riverbank, the Pelican was birdnapped by local gang members. They strapped him to some old car tubes and floated the poor wretch down the raging waters of the Murray River. His skin was destroyed, the flesh stripped from his lithe bosom.

    The poor fellow must’ve been terrified.

    Those thugs must be in their 60s by now, and have probably kept their shameful secret to themselves. Maybe now, after all these years, they can look themselves in the mirror and not feel ashamed. Perhaps they no longer wake in the early hours of the morning, slick with sweat, the Pelican’s name scraped across their sandpaper tongues. But I hope, when their time in the sun draws to a close, that the final thought to race through their bitter minds is of the horror they put that poor Pelican through back in 1980.

    It remains the darkest moment in South Australia’s long history. Well, apart from the whole bodies in barrels thing, but it’s still pretty bad.

    You can’t keep a good pelican down

    Five years after his seeming demise, The Big Pelican was resurrected by an enterprising young dude named Peter Mangelsdorf. With stars in his eyes, Pete believed that the king-sized cormorant could find fame and fortune in one of the world’s cultural hotspots, and so took him to the bright lights of Adelaide.

    With the help of Roy Harvey, Dana Braddock, Ruth Pfeiller and some of the area’s more ambitious students, The Big Pelican came back better than ever. He appeared at the 1985 New Year’s Eve spectacular, and returned to Adelaide for the well-received Murray Comes to Town festival in 1989.

    When not mingling with Adelaide’s glitterati, this beaky chap was the centrepiece of the Loxton Mardi Gras until 1992. Like the rest of us, this party boy finally had to grow up, put the sequinned hotpants away and become a respectable member of society. Peter had long dreamed of having this pouch-standing example of modern architecture fibreglassed and put on permanent display, which he was able to do in 1998 with the help of Peter Goodhand.

    The Big Pelican was placed inside Loxton Riverfront Caravan Park, where he spent his days inspiring a new generation to greatness. But, as always, he had one eye on the tranquil swell of the mighty Murray…

    Floody hell!

    If the The Big Pelican can’t go to the river, then the river will come to The Big Pelican. In late 2022, torrential rainfall caused the Murray River to swell like the pregnant belly of a 2,508km-long snake. As the waters rose, sweeping away all in their path, the Pelican watched on and dreamed of floating on the refreshing brine – this time on his own terms.

    The caravan park he called home was drowned beneath metres of mud and finally, blissfully, The Big Pelican found himself surrounded by water. The sight was odd to locals, but also just felt right, as if the big fellow was finally where he belonged.

    The waters receded. The park was cleaned up and, eventually, will once again welcome campers. The Big Pelican sits again on dry land once more, the stream achingly close. But look at his curved beak. Stare into those deep, caramel eyes, and you’ll see something that wasn’t there before. You’ll see a flicker of life and excitement, born of a few unbelievable days upon the Murray River.

    Miracles do happen. Just ask The Big Pelican.

    Epilogue: When Bigs met Barry

    During my visit to The Big Pelican I was fortunate enough to spend time with the irrepressible Barry Mangelsdorf, the brother of Peter. Barry is as charming as he is knowledgable of the Pelican, and regaled me with many stories of the Pelican’s adventures over the years.

    We’ll go for that swim next time I’m passing through town, Baz!

  • Katey Seagull, Tugun, QLD

    Katey Seagull, Tugun, Queensland, Australia

    Put the hot chips away, because the Gold Coast has been taken over by a behemoth beach chicken with an amazing appetite. Fortunately, Katey Seagull is as hungry for hugs as she is for deep-fried potatoes.

    Named after glamorous Married… With Children actress Katey Sagal, this super-sized seabird has made her nest out front of the Tugun Domestic and Commercial Waste Facility. Leggy Katey was crafted from recycled metal that’s been allowed to rust, giving her a weathered, world-weary demeanour. Seagull, that is, not Sagal – who simply doesn’t seem to age!

    The towering tern is extremely welcom-wing to strangers and has a flappy-go-lucky attitude. Sea-ing really is beak-lieving, so why not pop in for a flight-hearted conversation? I’m talon you, though, Katey can be a bit gull-ible at times – teehee!

    Feather you want to squawk about it or not, I suspect fowl play!

    The Big Seagull’s sensitive, reflective nature has, unfortunately, made her an easy target for local bullies. Gee golly, I know what that feels like. Upon first encountering Katey, I made the un-pheasant discovery that hoodlums had placed a bright orange witch’s hat over the bird’s majestic rostrum.

    Small things amuse small minds, but this act of bigotry could have ended in tragedy. Not only did the cone leave the well-proportioned creature looking peck-uliar, but it prevented her from eating and drinking. I reached her just in time. Who knows what would have happened had that awful hat remained upon her for even one more minute?

    “Yeah, that was some of the local punks,” a gruff garbageman informed me, before casting aside his carefully-curated tough guy image to allow himself to fall, weeping, into my arms. “They just won’t stop putting those cones on her beak!”

    When I find the perverts responsible – and I can assure you I will – I’ll waste no time inserting a witch’s hat somewhere very unpleasant indeed. Trust me, it shan’t be on their noses!

  • The Camira Critters, Camira, QLD

    The Camira Critters, Camira, Queensland, Australia

    Howdy pardner, this is your hat-wearing hawtie Biggie the Kid! I don’t mind a cockatoo, so when word rang round the holler that a gang of giant birds was causin’ trouble out near Ipswich, I jumped on my trusty stead Liberace and moseyed on out to the badlands of Camira.

    The settlement’s welcome sign has long been a thing of cotton-pickin’ beauty, and a source of pride for the natives. By the time I arrived, it had been well and truly overrun by ne’er-do-wells. There was a colossal kookaburra, a prodigious possum and yes – a real hard-lookin’ cocky.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I had run afoul of the notorious Camira Critters.

    It’s not often a fella finds three Big Things nestled so roody-poo close together. When it comes to big, strong, handsome native gentlemen, being outnumbered three-to-one are just the odds this cowboy likes – yeehaw!

    Cocky, Awesome Possum and Kooks – as their legion of admirers know them – aren’t the largest Bigs around, but are handsome enough to make up for it. Several empty poles pointed to the possibility of more gang members, but they didn’t appear. I was half expectin’ a Big Single Mother or a Big Toothless Bogan. It was Ipswich, after all!

    The Good, the Bad and the Cuddly

    I swaggered upon the critters, all tough and rough and overflowin’ with machismo. Unholstered my Kodak Instamatic. Spat a thick wad of Hubba Bubba on the dusty ground, then thought better of it and wrapped it in a small sheeth of paper before carefully disposing of it in the nearest bin.

    “Boys, boys, boys,” I snarled, peering at them with eyes so blue they would make the devil himself run and hide. “I’m going to have to capture you – for a photo! Three of you is guilty of bein’ just too darn cute!”

    Posing majestically with the gang in the wilting light of a Queensland afternoon, a ruckus tore through Camira’s tranquil bushland. Suddenly a coupé utility vehicle – or a ‘ute’, as the natives call it – came to a screeching halt in front of myself and my new friends. We watched in silence as four large, heavily-tattooed scoundrels climbed out, their mullets flapping in the light breeze.

    They were trouble personified. Hate warmed up. A cyclone of bigotry in flanelette shirts.

    The dawn of a new Camira

    “You with this galah?” the leader asked, pointing at the oversized animals. There was a sneer on his face that could darken the brightest day, and his flunkies howled like a pack of deranged baboons.

    “Actually, he’s a cockatoo,” I replied gallantly. “But yeah, we’re bosom buddies – what are you gonna do ’bout it, amigo?”

    “We was just wonderin’ whether there was any other massive creatures like ’em,” one of the toughs said shyly, kicking at the dirt. I realised that their hyper-aggressive display of toxic masculinity was a mask for their love of Big Things.

    “Of course, my passive-aggressive pal. There’s a gaggle of giant native birds in Queensland, such as Pete, the Big Parrot, and the nearby Big Honeyeater. And y’see that possum there?”

    “How could I miss, him, padre? He’s several times the size of a regular ring-tailed possum.”

    “There are many other mega marsupials scampering around Australia, such as Matilda the Kangaroo, the Big Koala and the Big Tassie Devil.

    “Aw shucks, Biggie,” piped up another gang banger, scribbling into a small notebook. “The only thing bigger than these animals is our love and respect for you.”

    The brutes snapped a series of playful photos with their hero – the one and only Biggie the Kid – before piling back into their coupé utility vehicle and cruising peacefully into the inky twilight.

    Silence descended upon the roadside, and I prepared to say my goodbye to the gang. Kissing the possum on his ring-tail, I climbed atop Liberace once again and reflected upon the lessons I’d learnt. Not all gang-related activity is detrimental to the community. One should never judge a book by its cover, nor a Queenslander by the cut of his mullet.

    And a handsome cowboy, raised on a steady diet of ultraviolence and and fear, can learn the meaning of love.

  • The Big Honeyeater, Logan Reserve, QLD

    The Big Blue-Faced Honeyeater, Logan reserve, Queensland, Australia

    I believe I can fly
    I believe I can kiss this big guy
    I think about Big Blue every night and day
    His handsome wings take my breath away
    I believe he wants more
    Cuddlin’ each other till we’re both sore
    I believe I can fly
    I believe Big Blue’s all mine
    I believe he’s my guy (wooooooo)

    The words of urban visionary R-Kelly resonate with visitors to The Big Blue-Faced Honeyeater, who really will make you believe you can fly.

    This superbly-detailed Big is perched outside the Sequana housing development in trendy Logan Reserve, giving the residents a birds-eye view of his feathery loveliness.

    As twilight settles over this little slice of heaven, the air rings out with calls of, “Honeyeater, I’m home!” It’s no coincidence, therefore, that housing prices in the village are 13.7 percent higher than surrounding, Big Thing-free suburbs.

    Sure, nearby Marsden has a vibrant culinary scene, some of the state’s most respected educational institutions and a range of sprawling, yet immaculately-maintained parks and reserves. But without a Big Thing to call their own, the locals might as well be living in the slums of Mumbai.

    I don’t want your money, Honey, I want your love!

    Blue-faced honeyeaters are native to Logan, although they rarely grow to such epic proportions. It’s not uncommon to witness a clutch of ‘bananabirds’ nestled atop their oversized amigo. What can I say, who doesn’t enjoy a night out with a bigger bird?

    Though generally amicable, honeyeaters are known to violently attack intruders such as goannas and dogs – the perfect security system. Not surprisingly, there have been remarkably few lizard-related ransackings of homes since the winged wonder was installed a few years ago.

    Australians have fallen in plover – oops, I mean in love! – with giant birds. There’s the leggy Stanley the Emu in Lightning Ridge. The wise, yet delightfully chubby Chinute Chinute in Darwin. The Big Chook in Western Sydney and his cousin, Charlie, in Newcastle. And waddled we do without Tasmania’s Big Penguin?

    Oh yeah, and Pelican Pete is just up the road from Big Blue in Noosa – I can’t beak-lieve I forgot about him! The Honeyeater, however, might just be the sweetest of them all.

    Honestly, I could chirp this friendly fowl’s praises until, like him, I’m blue in the face!

  • The Big Bowerbird, Raleigh, NSW

    The Big Bower Bird, Raleigh, New South Wales

    The benevolent bowerbird is nature’s great recycler, borrowing anything bright and blue to beautify his abode.

    Bonza bloke Nick Warfield is the mid-north coast’s great recycler, borrowing anything bright and blue to build the beautiful Big Bowerbird. The metal marvel has been lovingly pieced together from door handles, garden equipment, bike parts and even a few fans. I assume Nick used a crow bar and a set of needle-nosed flyers to get the job done!

    Fittingly, you can find him lurking outside the Bowerhouse Recycling Centre in rural Raleigh (the Bower Bird, that is, not Nick Warfield). Rust me, you could spend bowers and bowers there!

    The Big Bowerbird brings a bit of culture back to a tip to the trip, which has gained a reputation for being a rubbish way to spend an afternoon. In fact, it’s the perfect place to visit on a junket!

    “Thrown away objects offer me constant invitation,” a passionate Nick told Arts Mid North Coast. “Their inherent energy is stored within rust and decay, kinks and worn surfaces, warped shapes and frayed edges. A history of utility.

    “Wastefulness is an ugly luxury we cannot afford. The act of creation far outweighs the act of consumption. My art projects an attitude where waste is an opportunity to embrace innovation, imagination and humanity. I have learnt to scrounge, sift, recycle, scrap, pilfer, dumpster dive, trawl, dredge and reincarnate. I am a sculptor, surfer and groover living in Bellingen.”

    Couldn’t have said it better myself, Nick!

    Bower before your master!

    The Big Bowerbird fluttered into the centre in 2014, and has inspired a generation of youngsters to save the planet by recycling their used cans. With any luck they’ll stop dancing on Tik Tok long enough to craft their own Big Things out of junk. But really, that’s something that can be enjoyed by people of any garb-age.

    Whilst the Bowerhouse Centre is only open a few days a week, the Big Bird is available for a photo op ever day, so you can visit when-feather the mood strikes you.

    Far from being Australia’s only scrappy chappy, the Big Bowerbird is joined by other second-hand stunners Chickaletta, the Big Kookaburra and Murray the Cod. They just go to show that one man’s trash is another man’s Big Thing!

    I’d love to go on, but I’m worried I’ll trash my reputation by recycling my jokes!

  • The Big Eagle, Mt Alfred, Vic

    The Big Wedge-Tailed Eagle, Mount Alfred, Victoria

    Hey hey hey, good old Big Eagle Rock’s here to stay
    I’m just crazy ’bout his wings – so smooth
    Doin’ the Big Eagle Rock
    Oh oh oh, don’t drive past, he’s nicer than a crow
    I’m just crazy ’bout his wings – so smooth
    Doin’ the Big Eagle Rock

    Watch out, there’s a hat thief about! This enormous Wedge-Tailed Eagle soars through the skies of northern Victoria, on a tireless mission to pluck the bonnets off unsuspecting visitors.

    But even if you get away with your fedora or Akubra, he’s sure to steal something else – your heart.

    Hats off to the abs-birdly talon-ted Benjamin Gilbert and his team at Agency of Sculpture (the Big Acorns, Bogong Moth and Yabbie), this pleasant passerine was able to take up residence at the delightful Mount Alfred Gap Lookout in 2019.

    The site offers eagle-eye views of beautiful buttes and bubbling brooks, and the chance to watch real-life eagles plucking rabbits from the meadows, carrying them to great heights, and then dropping them to their doom.

    It’s not all been beer and skittles, though. In a disturbing reversal of fortune, the Eagle’s steel hat was stolen by a heartless thug in 2019. Hopefully when the police find this career criminal, he’s strung up and left for birds to peck out his eyes.

    This is certainly not the first Big Wedgie I’ve encountered, as I was often on the receiving end of a severe pants-pulling from my peers (and several of the more boisterous teachers) during my younger years.

    Yeah, but where are those bullies now? Alright, a few of them have gone on to raise families and have successful careers, and one served as the Federal Transport Minister for several years, but they’re not Australia’s leading historian on Big Things, are they?

  • Chickaletta, Myrtlebank, Vic

    Chickaletta, Myrtlebank, Victoria

    Do you feel clucky, punk? Well, do you? Then pullet all the stops to flock down to Myrtlebank Roaming Farms, where you can chick out Chickaletta, a feathered friend of egg-straordinary proportions!

    Chickaletta was ass-hen-bled from rusted bike parts and old farming equipment – similar to Murray the Cod and the Big Kookaburra – but she’s far more than a poultry pile of old junk. This bewitching bird is a brilliant beak-on of hope and inspiration that led to an era of unprecedented economic prosperity for the region.

    Let me take you back to 2017, when Achy Breaky Heart and Hypercolor t-shirts were all the rage. Myrtlebank Farm’s shop, The Chook House, was little more than a side hustle for owner Belinda Hoekstra. A few eggs here, a jar of gooseberry chutney there. But Belinda wasn’t about to throw in the fowl.

    To drumstick up some attention, Belinda had a BIG plan, which would soon come home to roost. One balmy day in late February, the team of artistes from Rusted Perfect strutted in to install Chickaletta, and she was immediately mobbed by an adoring public.

    Laughing all the way to the (Myrtle) bank

    Children and pensioners joined together in worship of their new avian overlord, who is well placed for a fun photo. She’s not cooped up and easy to find! Rumour has it that cock ’n’ roll group AC/DC even turned up to sing their hit song You Chook Me All Night Long.

    Chickaletta’s admirers also bought eggs – oh, did they buy eggs! Belinda was run off her feet and soon Myrtleford Roaming Farms was a full-time business, with Chickaletta the perpetual employee of the month. Omelette me tell you, the future’s never looked brighter.

    There are even rumours that Chickaletta has been seeing one of Australia’s biggest cocks, with Charlie the Chicken and the Big Chook the prime cluck-spects.

    The Chook House now boasts a scrumptious selection of pies, steaks, desserts and wholesome dinners for the whole family. The owners are a bunch of comedi-hens, and include plenty of peck-tacularly bad chicken puns in their weekly newsletters.

    I’ll leave you with a selection of their very nest puns, so that I can get back to courting Chickaletta. She told me battery will get me nowhere, but I’m not going to chicken out of my romantic pursuit!

    Q: Why couldn’t the chicken find her egg?
    A: Because she mislaid it!

    Q: What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
    A: A dirty double-crossing chicken!

    Q: Did you know chickens can jump higher than a house?
    A: True. Houses can’t jump!

    Q: Why don’t chickens wear pants?
    A: Because their peckers are on their faces!

    Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
    A: A brick layer!

  • Bruno the Big Pheasant, Tynong North, Vic

    Bruno the Big Pheasant, Tynong North, Victoria

    Forever stylin’ and profilin’, Bruno the Big Pheasant has been sauntering around rural Gippsland for decades. But this colourful character is more like a phoenix, having survived a terrorist attack and come out the other side looking better than ever.

    During a dark and stormy night October 2011, a deranged terrorist stormed into Bruno’s enclosure and, with hatred in his heart, approached the enormous bird. The thug dumped a homemade bomb at Brono’s feet and escaped into the darkness. Tick, tock, tick, tock. In the distance, a kookaburra cackled. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

    The midnight sky lit up like midday. Fickle fingers of flame reached in all directions. Then the sound and the shrapnel – like a thousand realities colliding – ripped through the landscape, plucking birds from their nests and sending children hurtling into their mothers’ arms.

    And then, silence.

    When the debris finally settled and the people of Tynong gathered as one in front of Bruno, they realised the world as they knew it was no more. The photogenic pheasant had sustained more than $50,000 worth of damage to his rear, and many wondered whether his tail would ever be the same again.

    Clear and Pheasant Danger

    Bruno can be found strutting his stuff outside the Gumbuya World fun park, which offers waterslides, animal exhibits, and other attractions that I was never able to enjoy as a youngster. The park was built on the site of an old pheasant farm so, when owner Ron Rado decided he needed something BIG to promote his investment, there was only one thing to do.

    He tapped local legend Bruno Crestani to craft the 16.8- metre-long, 7.6-metre-tall golden pheasant. The friendly fowl was made from five tonnes of concrete set over a steel frame, and was revealed to a curious public in December 1981.

    They were, of course, pheasantly surprised.

    Bizarrely, Big Bruno wasn’t named after his creator until 2021, when the park ran a hotly-contested competition to find a new moniker for the majestic merrymaker. Suggested names included Kuryana, Goldy and the imaginative Carlos Pheasantana.

    My suggestion, Donald Pheasants, was met with widespread praise but was ultimately discarded for being too controversial.

    He is happiest, be he king or pheasant, who finds peace in his home

    Bruno’s tale is as long and vivid as his tail. He’s recently been renovated as part of Gumbuya World’s revamp, and it’s easy to see him without shelling out for a (rather cheap) ticket into the park. It’s for the best, because my alien companion Gordon Shumway was banned for life after an unsavoury incident on the Tiger Snake Tango slide a few years ago.

    Big Brono’s nice and close to Arthur Sprout, Pat the Dog and the Big Spuds and Forks. At pheasant, however, he’s the biggest and brightest Big in the region. He’s also good chums with fellow well-dressed avians the Big Kookaburra and the Big Parrot.

    Bruno’s certainly peck-tacular, so don’t be a turkey and just fly by!

  • The Big Powerful Owl, Belconnen, ACT

    The Big Powerful Owl, Belconnen, Australian Capital Territory

    Alright, stop your hooting! Let’s get the obvious out of the way – the Big Powerful Owl looks more like the Big Powerful Male Appendage. But don’t let that scare you away from this eight-metre avian, who was erected in 2011.

    The Owl was pumped out by Bruce Armstrong and cast from steel, hard wood and lots of nuts, based on a design doodled on a napkin. There was a bit of a balls-up during construction and the cost expanded to $400,000. I certainly hope Bruce didn’t get stiffed on his share.

    Oi, I’ve already told you to stop laughing. Seriously, grow up!

    The powerful owl is the largest species in Australia, so Bruce depicted it as a scrotum… sorry, I mean a totem, watching over the land. Maybe he’s the dong lost cousin of Darwin’s Chinute Chinute. The Owl, that is, not Bruce.

    Tragically, local wang members have been known to deface this regal creature, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage. He was even pulled off pubic display for a while. A security camera has been installed nearby, and hopefully these miscreants will soon be given the shaft.

    Right, that’s your last warning. Any more giggling and I’m going to fly the coop.

    I was wet with excitement when I met the Owl, and it wasn’t just from the rain. His length, girth and rigidity were almost more than I could handle. In fact, he’s nearly as much fun to play with as Alan Davidson’s Balls.

    The equally member-able Big Mushroom is just metres away, and the Big Horny… I mean THORNY Devil isn’t far away, either.

    And in case you’re wondering whether ACT Tourism paid me for this story, the answer is no. I did it pro-boner, thanks foreskin… I mean for asking!

    OK, that’s it. You’re being absolutely ridickulous. Anyone would think you’d never seen a gigantic Penis Owl before.

  • The Big Kissing Galahs, Watson, ACT

    The Big Kissing Galahs, Watson, Australian Capital Territory

    Love is in the air, everywhere in Canberra town
    Love is in the air, no native bird has a frown
    And I don’t know feather I’m being foolish
    Don’t know feather I’m being wise
    But Big Galah love’s something I believe in
    Beak-ause they’re making out in front of my eyes

    As a hopeless romantic who aches to discover love, the allure of Australia’s most passionate Big Things proved irresistible. The Big Kissing Galahs, on the northern outskirts of Canberra, are forever perched on the precipice of a tender pashing sesh. Will they, won’t they? With my heart racing and palms sweating, I had to find out!

    Unveiled at a galah event in 2013, the lascivious lovers were the passion project of artists Bev Hogg and Elizabeth Patterson. The Galahs mark the entrance to a modern planned community, and supposedly represent the concept of new families nesting in the area. Well, that’s better than the concept of new families pooing all over cars. Eight years on, their lust burns brighter than ever.

    Wearing a freshly-pressed tunic and festive hat, I approached the bawdy birds to see if there was room for me, cocka-too. I leant in to join the smooching session, as every bird in every tree in the world sung a symphony for this moment. Alas, as has happened so many times in my life, I was shunned by those I loved the most, and the shattered shards of my heart were scattered on the spring breeze.

    Coming up: More galah-rious jokes!

    Fortunately my alien chum Gordon Shumway was on hand to pick me up off the ground. Not only did he provide me with the consolation prize of a few quick pecks, but he later took me to Fyshwick so I could pick out some sparklers. Sure, they weren’t the fireworks I’d hoped to see, but it was a nice gesture.

    Oh well, maybe I’ll have better luck with the Big Kookaburra. Or Pete the Pelican. Or the Big Penguin. Or Stanley. Or the Big Parrot. Or the Big Chook. Or Chinute Chinute. Or even the Big Powerful Owl, who lives just down the road in Belconnen. There are plenty more birds in the sky!

    I visited the Galahs briefly on my way out of Canberra, and became ensconced in the sweet melancholy of what they have, and what I fear I shall never find. However, even though they crushed my soul, I’m happy for their happiness. If things go the way I think they will, expect some little Big Galahs in about nine months time!

    Please note: The incubation period for galahs is approximately 25 days, however I changed this to nine months for humorous effect. Also, it’s unlikely the Big Kissing Galahs will breed as a little birdie told me they’re both male… although he may have been a lyrebird.

  • Chinute Chinute the Big Owl, Darwin, NT

    Without feather ado, I’d like to in-duck-t this oversized owl – and I’m talon you, be prepared to fowl in love! Say hello to Chinute Chinute, who’s so nice they named her twice!

    The 1.8-metre-tall avian landed outside the Northern Territory’s Supreme Court in 2010, and is modelled after a Dreamtime spirit who’s watched over the Top End for thousands of years. Aboriginal elder and artist Koolpinyah Barnes cast the blushing bird from bronze, based on a 45cm statue he cre-hoot-ed several years earlier.

    “Chinute Chinute is a Larrakia spiritual ancestor who exists within the sacred site known as Stokes Hill adjacent to this walkway,” Koolpinyah told fascinated reporters at the time. “This ancestor manifests itself from time to time as the tawny frogmouth and stands as sentinel to the waterfront area.”

    Chinute Chinute is anything but a hid-hen gem, being located a short stroll from the popular Smith Street Mall and the Big Frogs. I suggest spending time with our feathery friend before heading straight to the waterfront for a refreshing dip in the man-made beach, which isn’t just cheep, it’s free!

    Darwinians have been doing owl the right things to attract Big Thing fanatics, with Chinute Chinute joining Colin the Turtle and the Giant Jellyfish as a much-loved member of the communi-tree.

    Aussies have im-peck-able taste when it comes to birdy Bigs, so you should also chick out Pete the Pelican on the Sunshine Coast, the Big Kookaburra in Kurri Kurri, Stanley the Emu outside Lightning Ridge, the Big Chook in Western Sydney, the Big Parrot in Queensland, and the Big Penguin in (where else?) Penguin, Tasmania.

    Oh dear, thinking about all these giant birds is nocturn-all too much for me, I need to go and have a lie down in my nest! Hoot hoot!

  • Stanley the Emu, Lightning Ridge, NSW

    Everybody’s heard about this bird, which isn’t surprising because Stanley’s 18 metres tall and one of the nest-looking Big Things around. Yes, he’s aviary nice chap indeed!

    The elegant emu was lovingly crafted by local artist John Murray out of old VW Beetle bonnets and doors, then placed atop a stunning steel girder. This gem took up residence on the outskirts of the opal-mining village of Lightning Ridge in 2013, but he was o-Ridge-inally destined, quite appropriately, for Birdsville.

    “The tyranny of distance made it too expensive to truck him into Queensland,” Senhor Murray told a gobsmacked journalist from the Sydney Morning Herald.

    “The bloke in Birdsville wanted to call him Big Bird and put him out on the Birdsville Track in XXXX colours. I wasn’t too keen on painting my bird yellow and red, but even less enamoured about having my work used to promote beer. So the Ridge got him.”

    Oh, what flight have been!

    The best news is there could soon be more Bigs feather down the road… and I’m not talking about Murray the Cod. Walgett Council is holding a competition to encourage farmers to build their own roadside attractions, with the wing-er to receive $10,000. They might have to change the name from Lightning Ridge to Big Thing Ridge!

  • The Big Chook, Mount Vernon, NSW

    The Big Chook, Mount Vernon, New South Wales

    What’s chookin’, good lookin’? This king-sized cockerel really is something to crow about, and you’ll have egg on your face if you don’t chick him out!

    A Western Sydney icon for decades, the Chook is an extremely charismatic old-school Big. He looks a bit homemade, like the Big Golden Dog and fellow feather-head the Big Parrot, but that just makes him more relatable.

    He stands proudly outside a wildly popular egg farm named after him, and locals find it almost impossible to drive past without popping in. It’s not just for a photo op with the Chook, because along with an enviable selection of chutneys and jams, the on-site store sells two-and-a half doz-hen eggs for just $4 – and you don’t need a coop-on for that!

    Whilst it’s not possible to cuddle the ravishing rooster because he’s behind a chicken-wire fence, he’s in a great position for a happy snap. Just look at the two of us strutting around together, we really are poultry in motion!

    He’s really plucking big!

    Local legend Chris Sammut spent two glorious weeks building this peck-tacular specimen, at a cost of $1500. He based the Chook on a styrofoam model of a rooster, then moulded him out of chicken wire and duck tape. He then sprayed the whole thing with fibreglass and added the details with all-feather paint.

    The Big Chook was completed in 1986 or 1987, apparently without council approval. Chris kept him as a temporary attraction for a few weeks in case a busybody turned up to complain, before concreting him to the ground. I guess that cemented the Big Chook’s place in the community!

    There are rumours of other oversized chickens prowling the fields and farms of Australia – and plenty of other birds, such as the Big Pelican, the Big Owl and the Big Penguin, but this handsome chap is near the top of the pecking order.

    There’s also a rather large strawberry nearby, but unfortunately it’s nothing to crow about.

    Don’t chicken out, take a beak at the Big Chook today – and hurry up because the cluck is ticking!

    Please note, I understand that there are some obvious and tired jokes that can be made comparing this delightfully large chicken to a part of the male anatomy. You probably think you’re being both original and hilarious. Trust me, you couldn’t be further from the truth. The Big Chook is a gentle, kind being who should be admired and revered, not become the butt of crass jokes. Neither he nor I appreciate the fowl language!

  • The Big Parrot, Apple Tree Creek, QLD

    The Big Parrot, Apple Tree Creek, Queensland, Australia

    For many years the rural village of Apple Tree Creek was synonymous with its legendary Big Beer Bottle, but when it was sent to the big recycling bin in the sky, roadside attraction lovers had little reason to slow down as they zipped along the Bruce Highway.

    But don’t just fly on by, because eagle-eyed Bigs aficionados will notice that Apple Tree Creek’s now home to the Big Parrot. He appears to be a Norwegian Blue and may or may not be pining for the fjords. The chunky bird’s a bit rough, looking like he was knocked together in someone’s backyard. He does, however, have a silent pride in his eyes, and a peck-uliar grin on his face.

    The azure avian has been dumped haphazardly outside the award-winning Flying High Bird Park. It’s home to more than 3000 feathered friends from across the globe. All the birds in there are normal-sized, though, so I didn’t bother going inside.

    I highly recommend you take a squawk on the wild side and have a claws encounter with this odd, little-known and underappreciated Big Thing. It really is a wing-wing situation, even though he’s not as snappily-dressed as his beaked buddy the Big Penguin. Or wild and zany as his feathered friend Pete the Pelican. Or as popular with the locals as the legendary Big Chook. Alright, Owl stop!

    The only question is, shouldn’t Apple Tree Creek be home to, you know, a Big Apple?

  • Pelican Pete, Noosaville, QLD

    Pelican Pete, Noosaville, Queensland

    A wonderful bird is the Big Pelican
    His beak can hold more than his belly can
    He’s the size of a house
    And really quite grouse
    I can’t wait to visit my friend Pete again!

    Next time you spread your wings and visit the Big hotspot of the Sunshine Coast, make a splash landing in the seaside resort town of Noosaville, home of the Big Pelican! The overgrown chicken – known to his legion of admirers as Pete – boasts an un-beak-lievable backstory – after all, how many other Big Things have spent time at the bottom of the ocean?

    The supersized seabird hatched in 1977, and spent his early life as a float for the Festival of the Waters parade – a similar childhood to fellow Queensland legends Buffy the Big Cane Toad and Matilda the Kangaroo, and NT megastar Lefty the Big Pink Buffalo. The pelican could turn his head, open and shut his bill, flap his wings, blink his eyelashes, and wiggle his tail cheekily as his fans flocked to see him

    The float was so advanced that it took two dedicated technicians to keep Pete running, using a complicated system of levers, pulleys and cables. Sports stars, politicians, beauty queens and TV stars were seen riding on his back, but their celebrity was often overshadowed by that of the pelican. Pete didn’t get a big head about it, though, because he already had one!

    Peli-can things get any worse?

    The early 80s were a rough time for Pelican Pete, who deteriorated badly and was at one point dumped into the Noosa Although it might sound like an abs-bird coincidence, the same thing happened to the other Big Pelican in South Australia. It seemed like a tragic end for such a beloved figure.

    However, he was plucked out of the drink and put on permanent display next to Pelican Boat Hire. His functionality was restored – apparently the bill was particularly large! To this day, he still flies out for parades, making him one of the few mobile Bigs.

    There are few more picturesque locations for a Big Thing, and few things in life match the joy of eating a bag of hot chips under a lush Noosaville tree, the sparkling river on one side, the world’s largest penguin smiling happily on the other.

    A number of local shops sell Pete souvenirs and, best of all, the Big Shell is only a few minutes away in Tewantin. I’m not sure life peli-can get any better!

    A brief note on Trudi

    Amidst my dalliance with Pete, I was approached by Trudi, a Noosaville local with a strong affinity for this plucky Pelican. Trudi told me that she sees Pete every single day on her morning walk and, from the way she played with her hair when she was around the affable chap, it was obvious their relationship is very special indeed.

    “Pete’s the only man who’s never let me down,” gushed the long-time reader of this very website. “No matter what state I’m in, or how bedraggled, Pete always greets me with a big smile and a non-judgemental attitude. Unlike my ex-boyfriend Diego! Now that’s one guy who would never make it onto a website called Land of the Bigs, if you know what I mean.”

    I do, Trudi. We all have a Diego in our past.

    For fear of turning Land of the Bigs into a crass dating site (long-time readers will remember how that turned out last time), I’d like to welcome respectable expressions of interest from any young men who’d like to step out with Trudi. Honestly, this girl needs a man, she’s been spending too much time around that pelican!

  • The Big Kookaburra, Kurri Kurri, NSW

    The Big Kookaburra, Kurri Kurri, New South Wales, Australia

    You need to ‘Kurri’ along and see this winged wonder, and that’s no laughing matter!

    The king-sized kingfisher landed in 2009, stands a regal 4.5-metres tall, and was built to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the nearby Hydro Aluminium smelter. As you can see from the photos, he’s absolutely beautiful, and local artist Chris Fussel obviously put a lot of love and care into his work.

    Honestly, the craftsmanship is awesome, and the Big Burra should be considered a genuine work of art. I’ve seen some gorgeous roadside attractions, and none surpass this winged wonder. His claws are made out of old horseshoes and his feathers have been individually forged, so he’s a step up from most of his fellow Bigs.

    It’s a shame he’s stranded in the underwhelming Col Brown park, because he deserves better than to peer out on some pawn shops and the local Centrelink. In saying that, you could do worse than enjoying the warm feather by sharing your sandwich with the big boy on a pleasant afternoon. They also sell Big Kookaburra magnets across the road at the tourist information centre, which is a plus!

    The Big Kookaburra is nice and close to The Big Ugg Boots and Ossie the Mossie, making for a great day out hunting Big Things. You can enjoy this fascinating fowl and then hop along to the nest ginormous stupendous statue. Or you could include this beaked beauty in a tour of all the amazing avians this country has to offer, such as Pete the Pelican, the Big Parrot, Chinute Chinute and ‘Stunning’ Stanley the Emu. You’d be cuckoo not to!

    He’s flappin’ magnificent and available seven days a beak, so chick him out! But beware, your time with him will fly by!