Category: Big Crocodiles

  • George the Big Crocodile, Darwin, NT

    You don’t need to leave the Land of the Bigs to have a memorable encounter in the African wilderness. Just pop over to the Botanic Gardens in sunny Darwin, where a monstrous metallic maneater meanders through the Madagascan-modelled meadows. Mmmmm… marvellous!

    Surrounded by breathtaking baobabs and bubbling brooks, Gorgeous George delights with his size and looks. The 10-metre-long lizard was cast from steel by local legend Techy Masero, the artiste responsible for Colin the Turtle and the Big Barra, under the watchful eye of world-famous wildlife wizard Tommy Nichols. It truly does take a village to raise a colossal crocodilian.

    After five wonderful years of hard work, George was dipped in a vat of zinc (in a scene I can only assume was reminiscent of the ending of Terminator 2: Judgment Day) and hauled off to his forever home in April 2020. I’ll go out on a limb and say nobody leaves the Gardens jabbering on about the heliconias and orchids anymore – although they are delightful.

    Always smile at this crocodile!

    I’ve had encounters with the most beautiful Bigs ever made, but was reduced to a blubbering mess upon meeting George, so beautiful was he. Thousands of hours went into his intricately-detailed features, and it certainly shows. I was particularly impressed by the oversized barramundi he has tucked between his titillating teeth. Fortunately George didn’t snatch the Wanguri or Katherine barras for his lunch!

    As I struggled to catch my breath, a couple of the Gardens’ friendly horticulturists assisted me to a bench beneath a nearby weeping willow, where I was able to regain my composure before resuming my date with George. He lives in a quiet patch of the park, beneath a huge tree, but of course he attracts a lot of attention. Move over George Clooney and Boy George, we have a bigger celebrity here!

    I strongly urge visitors not to climb upon Bigs they don’t have a strong and trusting relationship with – it’s a hate crime as far as I’m concerned – but George made it clear to me that he’s open to being mounted, so I made the most of the opportunity. Despite hardly being a ‘waxhead’, I a surf on George’s handsome head. Hang 10-metre-long crocodile, dudes!

    There’s no doubt about it, George is a real croc star!

  • Daryl Somersby the Croc, Somersby, NSW

    Daryl Somersby the Crocodile, Somersby, New South Wales

    Never smile at Daryl the Crocodile
    No, don’t get friendly with Daryl the Crocodile
    Don’t be taken in by his games and lark
    Or the fact he lives at the Aussie Reptile Park

    Never smile at Daryl the Crocodile
    Never kiss his handsome head and stop to talk awhile
    Never listen to his hopes and dreams
    Of gobbling up six football teams

    You may very well lose your body
    Just up the road from Frilly and Ploddy
    But there’s always a special time and place
    To look at that rugged, whimsical face
    And say, “I don’t care if he eats me, we just have to kiss!”
    Daryl’s one Big that you just can’t miss!

  • The Big Boxing Crocodile, Humpty Doo, NT

    The Big Boxing Crocodile, Humpty Doo, Northern Territory, Australia

    Our next Big weighs in at seven tonnes and hails from Humpty Doo, Northern Territory. He is the saltwater slugger, the concrete treat and the leather-weight champion of the woooooooooorld… ladies and gentlemen, put your claws together for the Big Boxing Crocodile! Or Bite Tyson, as I like to call him!

    Our punchy pal was made possible by enigmatic businessman Marshall Brentnall. He was hoping to draw attention to his Humpty Doo Bush Shop. Inspired by the boxing kangaroo logo used in Australia’s successful 1983 America’s Cup campaign, he contacted Sydney artiste Ray Park to complete the six-metre-tall colossus. After 14 weeks of construction and two weeks of painting at the Sydney Prop Centre, he made his debut in 1988. Not surprisingly, he was an instant hit with the locals!

    And just how much does a legendary Aussie boxer Kostya? Oh, around $120,000 – bargain!

    Whilst he looks like a cold-blooded killer, the croc is actually a big baby with a kind heart. The quality of his design and construction is extraordinary and he ticks all the boxes to be a Big Thing Hall of Famer, ranking alongside fellow lizard Ploddy, the Big Pineapple and the Big Prawn. He’s huge, regionally-appropriate, easy to take photos with and zany enough to stand out from the crowd.

    He got knocked down, but he got up again

    Like many of his massive mates, Bite Tyson’s had some Rocky years, and spent time in a state of disrepair. Fortunately the adjacent petrol station has given him a lick of paint and cut back the unruly bushes at his feet, so he’s not ready to throw the towel in yet!

    He rounds out an assortment of NT lizards including the Giant Jumping Croc, George, and the Croc Hotel down the road at Jab-iru. There’s no denying that this absolutely glove-ly pugilist is a real knockout – and that’s a unanimous decision.

    Oh, and I was going to finish off with another amusing quip, but I can’t remember the punchline!

    Please note that, whilst I appear to be making aggressive gestures towards this gentle giant in some photos, it was all in good fun and with the permission of the Big Boxing Crocodile. He has a wonderful sense of humour! Do not mock/threaten any Big – they’re placid, sensitive creatures and here to be admired. Aggression towards them will not be tolerated!

  • The Crocodile Hotel, Jabiru, NT

    Everyone fantasises about spending a luxurious evening inside a Big Thing. The only place you can do that is in the remote Northern Australian village of Jabiru. Deep in the heart of the mystical Kakadu National Park you’ll find the senses-shattering Crocodile Hotel. At 250 metres long and 30 metres wide, he’s earned a reptile-tation as the most massive Big in this sunburnt country.

    Being the size of a city block means this green machine is difficult to photograph – unless you have a drone, you’ll have to settle for a happy snap of his eye, shoulder or a part of his tail. Despite being a lovely chap and a perfect gentleman whilst entertaining guests, the Croc also likes to put on a bad boy veneer at night, when his eyes glow a spooky red. But don’t be frightened, like a leather jacket-wearing biker in a 50s movie, he has a heart of gold when you get to know him.

    He’s very big Dundee-d

    ‘The Croc’, as the locals imaginatively named him, opened his ginormous jaws for business in 1988, following the worldwide success of the classic Aussie film Crocodile Dundee. Soon his belly was filled by a constant stream of loud-mouthed Americans in even louder Hawaiian shirts, saying, “that’s not a knife” in cockney accents, many of whom proceeded to wander off into the wilderness and get eaten by real-life crocodiles. With international travel temporarily stilted, I was fortunate enough to be offered a complimentary night at the hotel, thanks to my role as Australia’s Big Thing ambassador.

    After a number of delectable crock-tails at the bar, I was treated to a tasting platter of authentic bush tucker, featuring buffalo, kangaroo, possum and, of course, crocodile. A tsunami of shame and guilt washed over me as I nibbled on The Croc’s relatives, but I couldn’t stop – it was just too delicious!

    The rooms are spacious and far more comfortable than spending an evening inside a real reptile, which I imagine would be most unpleasant. I suffer from quite serious night terrors, and I can’t begin to explain how comforting it was to be shaken from a particularly horrifying dreamscape to find myself safely ensconced within the belly of a Big. It was like returning to the womb.

    In a region with more Big Lizards than you can shake a didgeridoo at – including the Big Boxing Crocodile, Keith the Crocodile, George and the Giant Jumping Crocodile, the Croc Hotel beggars belief with his scales… I mean his scale! He makes the perfect base for a once-in-a-lifetime journey through Kakudu but be warned – at the Hotel Crocodilia, you can check out any time you like, but your heart can never leave!

  • The Giant Jumping Crocodile, Wak Wak, NT

    He was a bad boy with a heart of gold from the wrong side of the Adelaide River. I was a fresh-faced Big Thing enthusiast discovering myself in the wild Australian outback. Together we found love and the forbidden art of the samba. This is Dirty Water Dancing.

    They say you should never smile at a crocodile. But I challenge you to look at this happy little face without croc-ing a grin! This groovy dude is one of the most joyous Bigs you’ll ever see, and has been boogying non-stop outside The Original Adelaide River Queen Jumping Crocodile Cruises headquarters since 1984.

    He lives by the banks of the murky Adelaide River, which I don’t advise you to take a dip in, unless you’d like to become the lunch of a not-so-friendly real-life croc! Better to join a sensibly-priced jumping crocodile tour and then enjoy some light refreshments at the adjoining cafe. You can also say hello to Wak Wak’s other Big Crocodile as you munch on a scrumptious chocolate brownie.

    Yet another oversized lizard, the world famous Big Boxing Crocodile, lives just 20 minutes down the road at Humpty Doo, and the Croc Hotel is only a couple of hours away, making this the undisputed modern-day-dinosaur roadside attraction capital of the world (they should put that on a tea towel). You know you’ll visit sooner or alligator, so head along to the Giant Jumping Croc… and make it snappy!

    Oh, and remember… nobody puts Bigs in the corner!

  • Keith the Crocodile, Wak Wak, NT

    Big teeth? It must be Keith!

    For those who believe the Giant Jumping Crocodile is a little too wacky, there’s a more realistic, down-to-earth, version just a short sinusoidal stagger away. He lives in the courtyard of the Original River Queen Jumping Crocodile Tours cafe and is an unassuming monster who shuns the limelight.

    Nobody at the cafe knows who built him or when (I’d guess mid-to-late 80s), or even his name, so I call him Keith. It’s a shame because the design and workmanship are delightful – he looks enough like a real beastie to stop famished families in their tracks, but has enough character and charm to ensure everyone leaves a slice of their heart behind when they say goodbye.

    He’s big, too – 10 metres long at least, which makes him the largest, if not the most famous, croc in Wak Wak. They’re both outsized by the legendary Big Boxing Crocodile in Humpty Doo, Darwin’s George the Croc and the massive, awe-inspiring Crocodile Hotel in Jabiru, though. There’s capacious competition for king-sized crocodilians in the Northern Territory (and let’s not forget the Big Crocodile in Somersby, NSW).

    As I was snapping my photos, a local wag tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at the chain attaching the smiling saltie to the ground. “Bigs,” he told me, cackling into the tropical twilight. “It’s to stop him from running away. “I found it so amusing that I couldn’t wipe the smile off my ‘dile for days!

    Alas, my time with Keith came to an end too soon, and we embraced as I told him I was off to see other Big Things. A little insensitive, sure, but I didn’t expect him to bite my head off about it!