Category: Big Shoes

  • The Big Doc Martens, Newcastle, NSW

    The Big Doc Martens, Newcastle, New South Wales

    The Big Doc Martens make for a socking sight in the middle of Newcastle, and I certainly wouldn’t like to bump into the miscreant large enough to wear them! Their punk rock swagger and detailed feet-ures are more than enough to earn my heel of approval.

    These hedonistic headkickers live outside the Famous Rock Shop, which is overflowing with leather jackets and vinyl records from bands with scary names like Cannibal Corpse and Savage Garden. If you’re after the latest Belinda Carlisle cassette, however, I’ll save you a trip. They don’t have it.

    The Big Docs are a faithful recreation of the popular romper stompers, down to their laces and stitching. It’s possible to step inside, but punks aren’t known for their lofty hygiene standards, so Gordon entered sole-o. He can now add the Big Fungal Infection to his list of experiences.

    Body modifications are also available, and it was all I could do to stop Gordon from getting his nipple pierced. However, there was no getting between him and aPrince Albert. He’ll regret that when he gets older – trust me.

    If you’re crazy for clogs, The Big Ugg Boots aren’t far away in Thornton. Keep driving and you’ll find The Big Roller Skate and The Big Shoe. They’re all toe-tally awesome!

    Gordon and I were so taken by the Big Doc Martens that we briefly considered forming a white nationalist skinhead gang and going on a violent rampage through the streets of Newcastle. But it seemed like a lot of effort and neither of us wanted to cut our hair, so we went out for banana daiquiris instead.

    Oh, and whilst you might think they’re twins, these boots are actually step-brothers. Anyway, I got a real kick out of meeting them!

  • The Big Roller Skate, Emu Plains, NSW

    The Big Roller Skate, Emu Plains, New South Wales

    He is a sk8er boy
    Big like the Potato boy
    He is good enough for me
    He has a pretty lace
    Takes up quite a lot of space
    You need to come down to Penny

    Roll out the red carpet, because I rink this colossal clog is wheely exciting! The lone loafer lives atop the entrance to Penrith Skatel, and is a shoe-in to send you head-over-heels in love!

    Widely regarded as the Pride of Penrith, the Big Roller Skate’s a ray of sunshine amidst a dingy industrial estate. If you’re looking to live out your Xanadu fantasies whilst having a new muffler installed, here’s your chance! The Skatel has heaps of great feet-ures and is tongues of fun.

    The Big Strawberry, Chook and Axe are nearby, if you want a sock-cessful day hunting down Big Things. If you prefer your shoes in pairs, try the Big Ugg Boots. If you prefer pears, try the Bilpin Fruit Bowl.

    The Skatel is economically priced, so even cheapskates can enjoy it. Unfortunately the centre was closed when I visited, however many people were already inline for selfies with the robust Roller.

    I considered sneaker-ing over the fence, but feared being arrested and tossed into sole-itary confinement. I really didn’t heel like going through all of that.

    Get your skates on and lace in to see him today!

  • The Big Shoe, Baxter, VIC

    The Big Shoe, baxter, Victoria, Australia

    “There was an old woman who lived in the Big Shoe.
    Which had many admirers, most notably you
    The colossal clog has big, fluffy laces
    And through the windows peer happy little faces”

    Diehard Big Thing aficionados dream of living inside a giant roadside attraction, and there are few cosier homes than this giant jogger. Sure, it’s a little rundown, but it has lovely feet-ure windows and boot-iful views of the Mooraduc Highway, so I have a sneaker-ing suspicion you’ll agree it’s prime heel estate!

    The Big Shoe set tongues wagging in 1967, when the Bata Shoe Company unveiled it as a float for the Frankston Australia Day parade. Apparently Beta’s managing director, a Mr Gordon Thring and his nephew Roger snoozed in the sandal the night before, to ward off any ill-tempered thugs who might attempt to damage their creation.

    The float was such a hit that it was a walk-up start in parades across Victoria for a number of years, before slipper-ing off into retirement at Two Bays Garden Supplies. It’s a festive history reminiscent of Pete the Pelican, Matilda, Lefty and Buffy the Cane Toad; unfortunately this story doesn’t have such a happy ending. It’s sat neglected for decades, and is currently in a sad state of disrepair. It’s a tragic end for a local icon that’s been on so many adventures. The Big Shoe is in desperate need of a cobbler, but nobody wants to foot the bill.

    Whilst not as grand as Thornton’s Ugg Boots, these cleats are full of character and are a fun throw-back to the swingin’ sixties. It’s certainly worth making a thong and dance about. Groovy, dude!

    My companion on this trip, Frankston-born singer-songwriter Scott Cairns, has many wonderful attributes but unfortunately has little appreciation for large roadside attractions. Imagine my surprise, then, when he was moved to tears as he recalled riding the Big Shoe during the 1969 parade. It was then that I realised just how much this icon means to the people of the Mornington Peninsula – it really is the heart and sole of the place.