Beg, borrow or peel, because the time is ripe to orange a visit to the sweet seaside village of Dania Beach, where The Big Orange is open all year rind. Squeeze be advised that this mandarin-credible roadside attraction can be found round the side of Alex’s Flamingo Groves & Gift Shop. Pre-pear for a bargain, as prices have been rejuiced!
You might find my jokes pith-etic, but pomelo out, dude. I reckon I’m hi-spherical!
Whilst The Big Orange offers a nice place to citrus and think, or maybe even get a suntan-gerine, the sense of neglectarine is pulpable. It really is a lime against humanity, because all this pipular tourist trap seeds is a little love. Hey, hey, don’t fruit the messenger and stop threatening me with valencia – I mean you no harmalade!
The Big Orange doesn’t quite measure up to Fort Lauderdale’s other Big Things, such as Thrive and Pegasus, but I probably shouldn’t manda-bring them up. Honestly, that would be like comparing apples and… well, some other sort of fruit.
Well that’s enough navel-gazing from me, so all the zest!
Fort you’d seen everything Lauderdale has to offer? Then allow Thrive to cement your decision to return to this tropical paradise. This 27-foot-tall bombshell, designed by delightful South African artiste Daniel Popper, can be found begging for attention on a dank street corner beneath an apartment block – but she’s certainly no street walker.
Well, she doesn’t have any legs, does she?
What Thrive does possess is supple lips, luxurious hair and perky bosoms, making her Flori-dang gorgeous. And whilst Thrive may have a heart of stone, she’s willing to lay it bare for anyone willing to peer inside her torn-asunder chest. Cripes, if all women were this open then perhaps some of us wouldn’t have grown up so confused.
Thrive is a remarkable example of urban art; an exquisitely-realised sculpture who brings life and wonder to an otherwise drab area of town. The city itself, impersonal and grey, seems to have taken human form in order to embrace those who live amongst its cold cement and senseless steel.
Impossible to ignore, it’s common to see an eclectic mix of tourists, office workers and street urchins ogling Thrive’s voluptuous physique . I even saw a local drunk trying to chat her up! Oh, my silly friend, don’t you know she’s asexual?
“In many ways it’s a symbol of hope and transformation which has been central to many people’s worlds during 2020,” ‘Poppy’ said of Thrive, whilst sadly misgendering her. “I hope they will continue to interact with it and enjoy it and that the message and feeling continues for many years to come.”
I’m not sure you’d be saying that if you witnessed the way the local drunk was trying to ‘interact’ with your masterpiece!
Sister Act
Thrive may seem like a unique butterfly, a paragon of unmatched magnificence and grace, but she does have twin sister. The hedonistic Ven a la Luz lives in the Mexican party mecca of Tulum, where she was installed by Poppy in 2018.
With her salacious wooden peritoneum and fiery Latina temperament, Ven a la Luz provides a natural and carefree counterpoint to Thrive’s modern-day sensibilities. The two look so similar but couldn’t have more disparate personalities – one sagacious and glamorous, the other passionate and free-spirited.
Despite their idiosyncrasies, I’d love to see Thrive and Ven head out on a double date with fellow legless giants Ernie and The Viking.
Well, where did you think baby Big Things come from?
‘Stayin’ with Thrive’ by the Bee Geez-She’s-Big!
Well, you can tell by the way Bigs walks I’m a concrete woman’s man, of her I talk Bosoms large and smile warm, she grows from the ground She is enorm And now it’s alright, it’s okay I guess if I’m love her I can’t be gay We can try to understand This Florida giant’s effect on man
Yeah I might be a brother with issues about my mother But I’m stayin’ with Thrive, stayin’ with Thrive The love we’re makin’ has my booty shakin’ And I’m layin’ with Thrive, layin’ with Thrive Ah, ha, ha, ha, playin’ with Thrive, playin’ with Thrive Ah, ha, ha, ha, I’m finally alive Oh, when you walk
