Bigs is back, dressed in lilacWith tiny Gordon on his backAt Arca de NoéGuatemalan pet shop, so you know Joaquin the DogJust Joaquin the DogIf you haven’t been to see himI’ll help you find Joaquin the Dog As a French bulldog it makes senseThat Joaquin is a bit intenseBut he’s a misunderstood guyIf Joaquin’s left alone at night he’ll cry Joaquin the DogJust Joaquin the … Continue reading Joaquin the Dog, Ciudad de Guatemala
Gnarled, quinoa-stained fingers reach towards us from behind an intricately-carved and eminently-Intragrammable mahogany doorway, and then the yoga pants-clad creature claws its way towards us. Eyes rolling within its peeling skull, tongue flapping in its mouth like a dying fish, the hippy shuffles forth, muttering obscenities about ayahuasca and the patriarchy. The stench – an acrid mixture of blueberry vape smoke and unwashed armpits – … Continue reading La Mano Verde, San Pedro, Guatemala
Looking to cross a majestic Big off your list and grab a competitively-priced home loan for your Guatemalan chalet at the same time? Then head to any branch of Banco Industrial, where you might find El Majestuoso Tecolote, a festively-decorated owl of epic proportions, right next to the ATM. I’m talon you, it’ll be worth the trip! Twenty-two of these enormous creatures were created by … Continue reading Majestuoso Tecolote, Ciudad de Guatemala
Guatemala is home to a vast array of birdlife, from quetzals to macaws to toucans, earning it a reputation as a feather fancier’s favourite place in Central America. For lovers of hummingbirds – known as colibri in the local dialect – Guatamala is without peer. On warm spring afternoons, the air becomes heavy with sound of their hovering. There are 38 varieties of the flamboyant … Continue reading Ebony y Ivory, Los Pocitos, Guatemala
This boot ain’t made for walkin’He’s just a work of artBut one of these days this boot is gunnaWalk into your heart Next time you need of a pair of handcrafted purple-and-green cowboy boots whilst travelling through Guatemala, pop into the charming industrial village of Pastores. Whilst there, you can’t possibly miss La Bota Gigante, an enormous boot that stands proudly at the entrance to … Continue reading La Bota Gigante, Pastores, Guatemala
Guatemalans are, statistically speaking, the tiniest people on the planet, so it should come as no surprise that their chaotic capital city has been built around an effigy of a high chair. Priscilla la Silla, as she is known to the eclectic mix of street urchins and aristocracy who gather at her feet, serves as an opus to the hopes and aspirations of the deeply … Continue reading Priscilla la Silla, Ciudad de Guatemala
Give peace a chance! Oi, thicko, I said give peace a chance, or I’ll knock ya bloomin’ teeth down ya throat! Tee-hee, how did you like my tough guy impersonation? I workshopped it for months with my acting coach Reuben, before boarding the Land of the Bigs private jet for my visit to the machismo-fuelled Central American hotpot of Guatemala. The region’s earned a bad … Continue reading Monumento A La Paz, Guatemala City
