Do you feel clucky, punk? Well, do you? Then pullet all the stops to flock down to Myrtlebank Roaming Farms, where you can chick out Chickaletta, a feathered friend of egg-straordinary proportions!
Chickaletta was ass-hen-bled from rusted bike parts and old farming equipment – similar to Murray the Cod and the Big Kookaburra – but she’s far more than a poultry pile of old junk. This bewitching bird is a brilliant beak-on of hope and inspiration that led to an era of unprecedented economic prosperity for the region.
Let me take you back to 2017, when Achy Breaky Heart and Hypercolor t-shirts were all the rage. Myrtlebank Farm’s shop, The Chook House, was little more than a side hustle for owner Belinda Hoekstra. A few eggs here, a jar of gooseberry chutney there. But Belinda wasn’t about to throw in the fowl.
To drumstick up some attention, Belinda had a BIG plan, which would soon come home to roost. One balmy day in late February, the team of artistes from Rusted Perfect strutted in to install Chickaletta, and she was immediately mobbed by an adoring public.
Laughing all the way to the (Myrtle) bank
Children and pensioners joined together in worship of their new avian overlord, who is well placed for a fun photo. She’s not cooped up and easy to find! Rumour has it that cock ’n’ roll group AC/DC even turned up to sing their hit song You Chook Me All Night Long.
Chickaletta’s admirers also bought eggs – oh, did they buy eggs! Belinda was run off her feet and soon Myrtleford Roaming Farms was a full-time business, with Chickaletta the perpetual employee of the month. Omelette me tell you, the future’s never looked brighter.
There are even rumours that Chickaletta has been seeing one of Australia’s biggest cocks, with Charlie the Chicken and the Big Chook the prime cluck-spects.
The Chook House now boasts a scrumptious selection of pies, steaks, desserts and wholesome dinners for the whole family. The owners are a bunch of comedi-hens, and include plenty of peck-tacularly bad chicken puns in their weekly newsletters.
I’ll leave you with a selection of their very nest puns, so that I can get back to courting Chickaletta. She told me battery will get me nowhere, but I’m not going to chicken out of my romantic pursuit!
Q: Why couldn’t the chicken find her egg?
A: Because she mislaid it!
Q: What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A: A dirty double-crossing chicken!
Q: Did you know chickens can jump higher than a house?
A: True. Houses can’t jump!
Q: Why don’t chickens wear pants?
A: Because their peckers are on their faces!
Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer!
