“Whiskey in the Jar”
As I was a goin’ to see the Luke Kelly Statue in Dublin
I bumped into Colin Farrell sittin’, drinkin’ in a fount’in
I first produced me autograph book, careful not to have seizure
Saying “I loved you in Phone Booth, Col, the way you held that receiver!”
Mush-a ring dumb-a do dumb-a da
Whack fall the daddy-o, whack fall the daddy-o
Luke’s the Dubliners’ star!
I took Colin’s manly hand as we posed before Luke Kelly
He held me a little closer, to make the gathered mob jelly
The ladies sighed and swore that they would severely beat me
But it’s worth it to spend a moment with Col, girls, so eat me!
Mush-a ring dumb-a do dumb-a da
Whack fall the daddy-o, whack fall the daddy-o
This story’s getting bizarre!
Luke Kelly smiled along with us, as the horde grew in number
Luke and Col and Bigs Bardot just watched the throng in wonder
There was no escape as our devotees backed us towards the water
I kissed Col, then Luke, and whispered “I wish I was your daughter!”
Mush-a ring dumb-a do dumb-a da
Whack fall the daddy-o, whack fall the daddy-o
I want Luke Kelly to be my pa!
Colin Farrell’s usually so cool, but soon did he unravel
Took off his shoe and threw it at the crew, boy did it travel!
Then I produced me pistol and Luke Kelly coughed up his rapier
We let off shots and left that group of teenage girls shaken!
Mush-a ring dumb-a do dumb-a da
Whack fall the daddy-o, whack fall the daddy-o
Bet that will leave a scar!
Colin’s super strong, pushed Luke Kelly off the block he rest on
Then we rolled that giant noggin down the main street of Dublin
The girls would fly like ten pins as we swaggered out into the day
Watch out, world, here we come, so you’d better get out of our way!
Mush-a ring dumb-a do dumb-a da
Whack fall the daddy-o, whack fall the daddy-o
Luke barely fit in a car!
We took delight as we did travel all over Ireland
Col and Luke and Bigs Bardot will be together till the end
As we sat atop the Cliffs of Moher, waiting for the boys in blue
Col and Luke both leant in to say, “Bigs, we will adopt you!”
Mush-a ring dumb-a do dumb-a da
Luke’s now my daddy-o, Luke’s now my daddy-o
Luke Kelly is my pa!
Mush-a ring dumb-a do dumb-a da
Col’s now my daddy-o, Col’s now my daddy-o
This has gone way too far!
