Tag: Belconnen

  • The Big Powerful Owl, Belconnen, ACT

    The Big Powerful Owl, Belconnen, Australian Capital Territory

    Alright, stop your hooting! Let’s get the obvious out of the way – the Big Powerful Owl looks more like the Big Powerful Male Appendage. But don’t let that scare you away from this eight-metre avian, who was erected in 2011.

    The Owl was pumped out by Bruce Armstrong and cast from steel, hard wood and lots of nuts, based on a design doodled on a napkin. There was a bit of a balls-up during construction and the cost expanded to $400,000. I certainly hope Bruce didn’t get stiffed on his share.

    Oi, I’ve already told you to stop laughing. Seriously, grow up!

    The powerful owl is the largest species in Australia, so Bruce depicted it as a scrotum… sorry, I mean a totem, watching over the land. Maybe he’s the dong lost cousin of Darwin’s Chinute Chinute. The Owl, that is, not Bruce.

    Tragically, local wang members have been known to deface this regal creature, causing thousands of dollars worth of damage. He was even pulled off pubic display for a while. A security camera has been installed nearby, and hopefully these miscreants will soon be given the shaft.

    Right, that’s your last warning. Any more giggling and I’m going to fly the coop.

    I was wet with excitement when I met the Owl, and it wasn’t just from the rain. His length, girth and rigidity were almost more than I could handle. In fact, he’s nearly as much fun to play with as Alan Davidson’s Balls.

    The equally member-able Big Mushroom is just metres away, and the Big Horny… I mean THORNY Devil isn’t far away, either.

    And in case you’re wondering whether ACT Tourism paid me for this story, the answer is no. I did it pro-boner, thanks foreskin… I mean for asking!

    OK, that’s it. You’re being absolutely ridickulous. Anyone would think you’d never seen a gigantic Penis Owl before.

  • The Giant Mushroom, Belconnen, ACT

    The Giant Mushroom, Belconnen, ACT

    For a ’room with a view, you can’t beat this monstrous mushie! She sprouted up beside the Belconnen Fresh Food Market in 1998, with a well-appointed playground beneath her colossal cap. Just be warned that, with so many slippery dips and see-saws, there’s not mushroom inside for adults.

    With a diameter of almost 16 metres, the Giant Mushroom is the grandest Big Thing in the ACT. She could do with a new coat of paint, however, and it can be difficult to grab a photo with her because she’s tucked away amongst the markets.

    A downpour added to my difficulty, but it was a fun adventure to dodge the cyclone to snap a photo! And maybe all that rain will see her grow even larger!

    It wasn’t all swings and roundabouts when I visited, however, because the playground was sadly closed for undisclosed reasons. Otherwise I would’ve been able to scurry up her stalk, peek through her windows, and have all sorts of fun-gus.

    Oh well, I found a nice toadstool to hunker down on as I admired this Big. A few curious shoppers asked me what I was doing, and I assured them I wasn’t stalking the Mushroom. To a person they agreed this is a mush-see tourist attraction!

    The Giant Mushroom was the star attraction Belco until 2011, when the Big Powerful Owl was installed just a few hundred metres away. The Big Acorns and Big Thorny Devil are also nearby. Oh, and it’s also a great place to meat for vegetarians (which is a joke that absolutely nobody who reads this will get).

    I could spend all day saying how much I love this ‘shroom, but don’t want to get mushy!