Tag: Quintana Roo

  • Fuente del Ceviche, Cancún, México

    Fuente del Ceviche, Cancún, Quintana Roo, México

    Somebody once told me the world is gonna love me
    I run the best Big Things site you’ve read
    One day I was having fun eating tacos in the sun
    When I saw a Big Starfish up ahead

    Well, the tears start coming and they don’t stop coming
    Dodging the traffic, I hit the ground running
    Didn’t make sense not to run, run, run
    Towards Fuente del Ceviche, yum, yum, yum!

    The Fountain of Fish is a sight to see
    These photos I’m taking are so sweet!
    You’ll never see him if you don’t go (GO!)
    To Cancún, down in México

    Hey, now, that’s a Big Star, get your game on, go today
    Hey, now, that’s a Big Star, he really makes the grade
    And all that glitters is gold
    The Big Starfish’s story will be told!

    Del Ceviche is a cool Big, so no cold shoulder
    Built in the early-90s, but looks a bit older
    Like a graffitied Claudia Schiffer
    Put on a sombrero, take a picture

    The Star’s paint job is getting pretty thin
    There are homeless there who’ll attack you on a whim
    His future looks dire. How about yours?
    With Claw and Ven nearby you will never get bored

    Hey, now, that’s a Big Star, it is free and not paid
    Hey, now, that’s a Big Star, oh is that Randy Quaid?
    And all that glitters is gold
    The Big Starfish will never get old!

    Go to Cancún!
    There’s plenty of room
    In May or June
    If you don’t, you’re a goon

    Oye, esa es una gran estrella, comienza tu juego, ve a jugar
    Oye, esa es una gran estrella, comienza el programa y cobra
    Y todo lo que brilla se paga con oro
    Sólo estrellas fugaces…

    A passing cholo asked could I spare some change for gas
    I need to get myself away from this Big
    I said sí, sounds bueno to me
    Let’s get an enchilada with cheese
    Explore the Yucatan for a few days

    Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming
    We visit many Big Things that are stunning
    Nachi, Caracol our lives were fun
    Too many nachos, Pedro acts dumb

    So much to do, and Bigs to see
    Road trippin’ life with Pedro is sweet
    After 20 years the two of us go
    Back to Fuente del Ceviche – woah!

    Hey, now, he’s still a Big Star, he’ll never go away
    Hey, now, he’s still Big Star, even if his paint fades
    This parody of All Star‘s getting old
    Surprised you made it this far, truth be told

    And all that glitters is gold
    I think this quesadilla is growing mold

  • El Caracol Immenso, Chetumal, México

    El caracol Immenso, Chetumal, Quintana Roo, México

    Wander along the esoteric streets of downtown Chetumal, as the ocean breeze rustles through the palm trees, and you’ll discover a seashell conch-siderably larger than the rest. This, my friend, is El Caracol Immenso.

    Or The Really, Really Big Conch Shell for us gringos – and I’m here to shell you all about her!

    Serving as a tribute to both the vibrant local culture and the gleaming shells synonymous with the mystical Yucatan Peninsula, this Big features eye-catching artistry and mar-shell-ous attention to detail. Statuesque and suitably spiky, he really is the shell of the ball!

    So colossal is this cowrie that, if you shell be fortunate enough to press your ear to his curvilinear whorl, you won’t simply hear the waves, you’ll hear the entire ocean!

    So marvellous is this mollusc that one might expect a crab to scurry out at any moment. Clawdia, however, prefers sipping on mimosas up in Cancun.

    Thankfully, there’s no need to shell out for this attraction, because it’s free to visit. And that’s cause for shell-elbration!

    I’m on the highway to shell!

    Despite his exquisiteness, El Caracol doesn’t enjoy the shell-ebraty status afforded to similar structures in Tewantin and Terrigal, Australia. Surrounded by rustic houses in a quiet back street, most who pass through the sultry paradise of Chetumal shell never revel in his glory.

    Although I’m the world’s foremost expert on Big Things, I knew not of the shell’s existence upon arriving in México. In fact, I stumbled upon him whilst navigating the labyrinthine alleyways in search of a vegan tostada. You could say I was shell-shocked to find him! Nachi Cocom and Monumento al Renacimiento may command prime real estate upon the city’s world-famous harbour, yet El Caracol is perhaps the grandest of them all.

    Be wary, Biggies, as there is a bikie gang in the area. But don’t worry, because the Shells Angels are more likely to steal a photo of their favourite Big Thing than you wallet. My visit did birth a moment that shell long hang heavy in my psyche, however.

    As I was taking a cute shell-fie with El Caracol Immenso, I was approached by a swarthy Land of the Bigs groupie who invited me out for an alcohol-free margarita at one of the town’s vibrant seaside bars, but my cloddishness caused me to decline. Oh, the life of an involuntary shell-ibate!

    Okies, that’s enough shell-arity for one day. Toodles!

  • Nachi Cocom, Chetumal, México

    Nachi Cocom, Chetumal, Quintana Roo, México

    Nachi Cocom was a brilliant and inspirational Mayan chief who led his people with a stern yet fair hand, before standing up to the Spanish conquistadors as they raided his lands. He also looked really cute in a loin cloth, which is much more important – tee-hee!

    Unveiled in 2018 before dozens of shirtless admirers, this statue depicts Nachi in his traditional battle attire, ready to deliver the Spaniards a good ol’ knuckle empanada. The five-metre-tall warrior cuts a handsome figure against the swaying palms and azure Caribbean water of Chetumal’s world-famous harbour.

    The Nachi-ral born thriller stands with a slight inclination not because of scoliosis, but to lure his adversaries into a false sense of security. Apparently that’s something trained pugilists do. I wouldn’t know because, when startled, I burst into tears until the bully leaves in disgust. It’s surprisingly effective!

    But back to Nachi. He is, in a word, concupiscible. He even has a pet iguana, just waiting to be kissed. Due to his disconcerting two-dimensional proportions, however, I was unable to provide the lizard with his own entry on Land of the Bigs.

    Chetumal is a heavenly slice of the real México, a world away from the botoxed lips and digital nomad cafes of nearby Cancún and Tulum. The city is a haven for Biggies as well, with La Gran Caracola and Monumento al Renacimiento just a few minutes away from Nachi.

    I must confess that my rudimentary grasp of the Spanish language led me to believe I was going to visit ‘The Big Nacho’, and turned up with corn chips and guacamole. Ever the chameleon, I quickly disrobed instead, but my hardline pescatarian diet meant I was unable to eat my delicious, yet ultimately useless, props.

    Oh well, the López family seemed to enjoy their free meal.