Moab, Utah, is most certain to please
A desert oasis that’s best served with cheese
With mountains and shrubs and Arches and quilk
And quaint restaurants that serve bumdoozlers with milk
I felt a great leaping of joy in my heart
As I swaggered along, seeking oversized art
In no time at all, my stroll turned to a hop
I’d spotted a Big Thing outside of a shop
And with great skilful skill that would impress a wizard
I raced towards something that could be a lizard
As I got nearer I heard a ga-whine!
I looked
I saw some him perched up on a sign
Wearing a Hawaiian shirt, the oddest of creatures
Describe him? That’s hard. He had such bizarre features
He was largish, and oldish, and bluish and mossy
And he spoke with a Utah accent that was sharpish and bossy
“Bigs Bardot!” he said, taking swift action
“I am The Gonzo. A roadside attraction
I lure in travellers both ancient and young
With my palpable sense of both filbus and fun”
His tail did flap and his eyes they did spin
“Won’t you please join me inside The Gonzo Inn?”
“Look, Gonzo”, I said. “I don’t see the harm
It’s better than sleeping out there in a barn
Moab’s quite cold when you’re on your ownly
A life tracking down Bigs can be rather lonely
So please lead the way, to a room for this brat
With a rat, a cat, and a Big Cricket Bat
I hope it has carpets, and pillows, and sheets!
And curtains! And comfortable, munchable seats!
The Gonzo said, “Bigs! You are crazy with greed
A sensibly-priced condo is all that you need!
But the very next minute I proved Gonzo wrong
For, just at that minute, I burst into song
And the critter found my voice was really quite great
Then invited me out on a lovely bro date
I laughed at The Gonzo, and gave him a smile
“No, all I need is the love of a handsome reptile!”
