“(Sittin’ With) the Crab for the Day”
Sittin’ in the San Fran sun
The Crab’ll be snippin’ when the evenin’ comes
Watching Bigs Bardot roll in
Then he’ll make an excuse and scuttle away forever, yeah
I’m sittin’ with the Crab for the day
Wondering which way he sways, ooh
Because it’s scientifically proven crabs can be gay
Crustacean time!
I left my home in Gosford
Headed for the Frisco Bay
‘Cause I’ve had everythin’ to live for
As there’s a Big Thing to visit every day
So I’m just gon’ sit with the Crab for the day
Watchin’ the way his his cephalothorax sways, ooh
Shopping at the The Wharf Store is a good way to save
Crustacean time!
My obsession with the Big Crab may seem strange
But trust me when I say I am sane
I want him to pinch my bum even when I say not to
But he doesn’t want to play that game, no
The poor ol’ Big Crab has no bones
Without him I fear I’ll die alone, listen
I’m 20,000 miles from home
Kissing a crab statue highlighted in chrome
Now I’m just gon’ sit with my beloved Crab for a day
Until he inevitably scurries away, ooh yeah
Why will nobody I love stay
My whole life has been a waste of time
