No trip to the Southern Pie-lands – oops, I mean the Southern Highlands! – is complete without a pitstop at Samuel Gee Pies & Pastries. Just look for the pie-gantic meat pie above the front door!

Lovingly known as ‘Sam’ by his legion of ad-pie-rers, The Big Meat Pie is a photo-realistic recreation of Australia’s national dish. The bulging core, the ruffled edges – ooooh, he looks good enough to eat.

But here’s some news that will bake you a bit sad. Sam has, ap-pie-lingly, been left to fester in the warm Balaclava sun. But, much like a chicken and leek pie found behind the lounge whilst cleaning up for your bi-annual rental inspection, he certainly has his charms.

After leering at The Big Meat Pie for several hours, it would’ve been rude not to step inside and wrap my laughing gear around the savoury treats within. So that’s exactly what myself and my travel-buddy Bigella did.

Not surprisingly, she picked out the brisket bacon and jalapeño. After much umming and ahhing, I settled on a classic – the steak and cheese – then sauntered up to the counter to reverently deliver my order.

“It’s a pie-leasure to ‘meat’ you,” I told the lass behind the counter. “I’d like to order a couple of your pie-ping hot treats.”

My pie-larious joke was met by pie-lence. Maybe she was sur-pie-sed to meet a world-famous Big Thing aficionado.

“See you ’round’,” I snickered as I snuck off with my snacks. “You know, like a pie. Because they’re round.”
“Well, except for The Big Pie in Hamilton, Victoria,” Bigellaxxxx. “That’s square.”

The pies were pleasant, but slightly pedestrian and – sur-pie-singly for a shop sitting in the shadows of an enormous pastry – just a little bit petite. Oh well, there’s always Yatala Pies.

Harsh? Maybe. But then again, I’m not here to tell sweet little pies.