“The Big Octopus’s Garden”
I’d like to be
Right by the sea
In the Big Octopus’s garden
Wearing suede
He’d let me in
To see his collection
Of shells and coral and even
A model railway
I’d ask my friends
To come and see
The Griffith’s Sea Shell Museum
With me
I’d like to dance
Through Lakes Entrance
To the Big Octopus’s garden
Without my pants
His cuddles have charms
Because he has eight arms
After admiring him for hours
There’ll be romance
Kissing his bulbous head
Dreaming of being wed
In the Big Octopus’s garden
He really enchants
We would sing
And wave our limbs around
Because we know
That our love abounds
I’d like to be
A few hundred metres from the sea
In the Big Octopus’s garden
My love won’t fade
We would shout
And wiggle our suckers about
Our relationship has no lies
Beneath the waves
Oh what joy
For this mollusc and boy
Knowing we’re happy
And we’re safe
We would be so happy
‘pus and Biggie
No one there to tell us
That an oversized recreation of a cephalopod and a 38-year-old man can’t have a meaningful relationship
I’d like to be
Just over the Cunninghame Arm Foot Bridge from the sea
In the Big Octopus’s garden
With my boo
In the Big Octopus’s garden
With my boo
Unfortunately the Big Octopus
Just did a poo
