Category: Big Animals

  • The Big Boxing Crocodile, Humpty Doo, NT

    The Big Boxing Crocodile, Humpty Doo, Northern Territory, Australia

    Our next Big weighs in at seven tonnes and hails from Humpty Doo, Northern Territory. He is the saltwater slugger, the concrete treat and the leather-weight champion of the woooooooooorld… ladies and gentlemen, put your claws together for the Big Boxing Crocodile! Or Bite Tyson, as I like to call him!

    Our punchy pal was made possible by enigmatic businessman Marshall Brentnall. He was hoping to draw attention to his Humpty Doo Bush Shop. Inspired by the boxing kangaroo logo used in Australia’s successful 1983 America’s Cup campaign, he contacted Sydney artiste Ray Park to complete the six-metre-tall colossus. After 14 weeks of construction and two weeks of painting at the Sydney Prop Centre, he made his debut in 1988. Not surprisingly, he was an instant hit with the locals!

    And just how much does a legendary Aussie boxer Kostya? Oh, around $120,000 – bargain!

    Whilst he looks like a cold-blooded killer, the croc is actually a big baby with a kind heart. The quality of his design and construction is extraordinary and he ticks all the boxes to be a Big Thing Hall of Famer, ranking alongside fellow lizard Ploddy, the Big Pineapple and the Big Prawn. He’s huge, regionally-appropriate, easy to take photos with and zany enough to stand out from the crowd.

    He got knocked down, but he got up again

    Like many of his massive mates, Bite Tyson’s had some Rocky years, and spent time in a state of disrepair. Fortunately the adjacent petrol station has given him a lick of paint and cut back the unruly bushes at his feet, so he’s not ready to throw the towel in yet!

    He rounds out an assortment of NT lizards including the Giant Jumping Croc, George, and the Croc Hotel down the road at Jab-iru. There’s no denying that this absolutely glove-ly pugilist is a real knockout – and that’s a unanimous decision.

    Oh, and I was going to finish off with another amusing quip, but I can’t remember the punchline!

    Please note that, whilst I appear to be making aggressive gestures towards this gentle giant in some photos, it was all in good fun and with the permission of the Big Boxing Crocodile. He has a wonderful sense of humour! Do not mock/threaten any Big – they’re placid, sensitive creatures and here to be admired. Aggression towards them will not be tolerated!

  • The Crocodile Hotel, Jabiru, NT

    Everyone fantasises about spending a luxurious evening inside a Big Thing. The only place you can do that is in the remote Northern Australian village of Jabiru. Deep in the heart of the mystical Kakadu National Park you’ll find the senses-shattering Crocodile Hotel. At 250 metres long and 30 metres wide, he’s earned a reptile-tation as the most massive Big in this sunburnt country.

    Being the size of a city block means this green machine is difficult to photograph – unless you have a drone, you’ll have to settle for a happy snap of his eye, shoulder or a part of his tail. Despite being a lovely chap and a perfect gentleman whilst entertaining guests, the Croc also likes to put on a bad boy veneer at night, when his eyes glow a spooky red. But don’t be frightened, like a leather jacket-wearing biker in a 50s movie, he has a heart of gold when you get to know him.

    He’s very big Dundee-d

    ‘The Croc’, as the locals imaginatively named him, opened his ginormous jaws for business in 1988, following the worldwide success of the classic Aussie film Crocodile Dundee. Soon his belly was filled by a constant stream of loud-mouthed Americans in even louder Hawaiian shirts, saying, “that’s not a knife” in cockney accents, many of whom proceeded to wander off into the wilderness and get eaten by real-life crocodiles. With international travel temporarily stilted, I was fortunate enough to be offered a complimentary night at the hotel, thanks to my role as Australia’s Big Thing ambassador.

    After a number of delectable crock-tails at the bar, I was treated to a tasting platter of authentic bush tucker, featuring buffalo, kangaroo, possum and, of course, crocodile. A tsunami of shame and guilt washed over me as I nibbled on The Croc’s relatives, but I couldn’t stop – it was just too delicious!

    The rooms are spacious and far more comfortable than spending an evening inside a real reptile, which I imagine would be most unpleasant. I suffer from quite serious night terrors, and I can’t begin to explain how comforting it was to be shaken from a particularly horrifying dreamscape to find myself safely ensconced within the belly of a Big. It was like returning to the womb.

    In a region with more Big Lizards than you can shake a didgeridoo at – including the Big Boxing Crocodile, Keith the Crocodile, George and the Giant Jumping Crocodile, the Croc Hotel beggars belief with his scales… I mean his scale! He makes the perfect base for a once-in-a-lifetime journey through Kakudu but be warned – at the Hotel Crocodilia, you can check out any time you like, but your heart can never leave!

  • The Giant Jumping Crocodile, Wak Wak, NT

    He was a bad boy with a heart of gold from the wrong side of the Adelaide River. I was a fresh-faced Big Thing enthusiast discovering myself in the wild Australian outback. Together we found love and the forbidden art of the samba. This is Dirty Water Dancing.

    They say you should never smile at a crocodile. But I challenge you to look at this happy little face without croc-ing a grin! This groovy dude is one of the most joyous Bigs you’ll ever see, and has been boogying non-stop outside The Original Adelaide River Queen Jumping Crocodile Cruises headquarters since 1984.

    He lives by the banks of the murky Adelaide River, which I don’t advise you to take a dip in, unless you’d like to become the lunch of a not-so-friendly real-life croc! Better to join a sensibly-priced jumping crocodile tour and then enjoy some light refreshments at the adjoining cafe. You can also say hello to Wak Wak’s other Big Crocodile as you munch on a scrumptious chocolate brownie.

    Yet another oversized lizard, the world famous Big Boxing Crocodile, lives just 20 minutes down the road at Humpty Doo, and the Croc Hotel is only a couple of hours away, making this the undisputed modern-day-dinosaur roadside attraction capital of the world (they should put that on a tea towel). You know you’ll visit sooner or alligator, so head along to the Giant Jumping Croc… and make it snappy!

    Oh, and remember… nobody puts Bigs in the corner!

  • Keith the Crocodile, Wak Wak, NT

    Big teeth? It must be Keith!

    For those who believe the Giant Jumping Crocodile is a little too wacky, there’s a more realistic, down-to-earth, version just a short sinusoidal stagger away. He lives in the courtyard of the Original River Queen Jumping Crocodile Tours cafe and is an unassuming monster who shuns the limelight.

    Nobody at the cafe knows who built him or when (I’d guess mid-to-late 80s), or even his name, so I call him Keith. It’s a shame because the design and workmanship are delightful – he looks enough like a real beastie to stop famished families in their tracks, but has enough character and charm to ensure everyone leaves a slice of their heart behind when they say goodbye.

    He’s big, too – 10 metres long at least, which makes him the largest, if not the most famous, croc in Wak Wak. They’re both outsized by the legendary Big Boxing Crocodile in Humpty Doo, Darwin’s George the Croc and the massive, awe-inspiring Crocodile Hotel in Jabiru, though. There’s capacious competition for king-sized crocodilians in the Northern Territory (and let’s not forget the Big Crocodile in Somersby, NSW).

    As I was snapping my photos, a local wag tapped me on the shoulder and pointed at the chain attaching the smiling saltie to the ground. “Bigs,” he told me, cackling into the tropical twilight. “It’s to stop him from running away. “I found it so amusing that I couldn’t wipe the smile off my ‘dile for days!

    Alas, my time with Keith came to an end too soon, and we embraced as I told him I was off to see other Big Things. A little insensitive, sure, but I didn’t expect him to bite my head off about it!

  • Lefty the Big Pink Buffalo, Winnellie, NT

    If alcoholics see pink elephants, then those who prefer the intoxicating allure of Big Things must see pink buffalos! This festively-coloured fella is named Lefty, due to the unfortunate fact one of his bulbous, confronting testicles is larger than the other. Alright, alright, settle down! Small things (or, rather, massive dangly things) amuse small minds, I guess.

    To spend a right good time with Lefty, buffalo your instincts to the delightful Travans Cars & Commercials, where you can have your photo taken with a giant roadside attraction and buy a second-hand Toyota Hilux in the same afternoon.

    When I visited, nobody bothered coming over to chat to me during the 45 minutes I spent taking photos – probably because a burning passion for Big Things and an appreciation for reasonably-priced ex-fleet vehicles rarely go hand-in-hand.

    Lefty pranced into the Territory as a grey-coloured parade float many years ago, in a similar manner to the Big Shoe and Percy the Big Pelican. He bullied his way into the hearts of Darwinians and gained a ravenous supporters club, so he was purchased by a local buffalo trading company and popped on permanent display. I don’t know about you, but that’s the sort of thing that would convince me to buy an enormous beastie!

    A snazzy new paint job for Lefty wasn’t enough to keep the company afloat, and during the bankruptcy proceedings he ended up with his current owners. He seems happy enough in the car yard, much like Taree’s Big Oyster.

    It seems like he could still be wheeled out for a party, but that he hasn’t hit the social scene in many years. So rock up, meet the Pink Prince and please, don’t say anything about how he got his name – Lefty is a sensitive soul.

  • The Big Tasmanian Devil, Mole Creek, TAS

    The Big Tasmanian Devil, Mole Creek, Tasmania

    Don’t be frightened of this fang-flashing fella, because he’s friendly! And he wouldn’t be able to chase you anyway, because he’s missing his back legs and just sort of merges into the fertile Tasmanian earth. The Tassie Terror is a curious and unforgettable Big in a quiet corner of the country, and you’ll have a hell of a time if you visit this devil!

    Despite extensive research from myself and my sidekick, Brazilian Big Thing savant Bebezinha Grande, we were unable to pinpoint the devil’s exact age. Going by the style of the craftsmanship, which is eccentric, whimsicall and slightly homemade, my guess is he arrived sometime in the 70s. He certainly looks good for his age!

    The titanic Tassie lives out the front of Trowunna Wildlife Sanctuary, where you can see smaller, more active devils for a small fee. That’s not marsupi-all they have, either, because the sanctuary is home to wombats, kangaroos, quolls, pademelons, owls, eagles, swans and ducks. No penguins, though, but you can see one of those just up the road.

    Speaking of the Big Penguin, the Tassie Devil seems a bit underdressed in comparison. In fact, you could say that the Devil wears nada!

    Nearby Mole Creek is home to 609 very friendly people and is famous for its honey, the nearby limestone caves, and the historic Mole Creek Hotel – which has a Big Tassie Tiger above the door! The village is also ideally positioned within 90 minutes drive of the astonishing Dove Lake and Cradle Mountain, so nature lovers are in for a treat. There are no moles around, though, making this another town that should be renamed to better represent its most famous resident.

    I was absolutely devil-stated to say goodby to this happy chappy!

  • The Big Golden Dog, Glenreagh, NSW

    The Big Golden Dog, Glenreagh, New South Wales

    You’d have to be barking mad to miss out on The Big Golden Dog, which is conveniently located just 30 just minutes west of Coffs Harbour’s Big Banana! This four-metre tall, six-metre-long dreamboat scampered into Glenreagh in 2011 and has proven to be a howling success, with visitors often paws-ing for a photo with the handsome fellow.

    The massive mutt stands guard outside the prosperous Golden Dog Hotel, which offers a wonderful selection of beers and traditional Aussie tucker. And no, despite the name, they don’t just serve Chum and kibble! There’s also a handful of Golden Dog souvenirs available – stubby coolers, bottle openers and such – but I hounded them about getting more stuff in.

    Legend has it that, back in the day, a local hunk found a massive gold nugget nearby and raced into the pub to show it off. His chums, after presumably indulging in several celebratory lemon spritzers, decided the nugget bore a slight resemblance to a dog, and the pub was promptly renamed. Or at least that’s what the current owners, the ever-congenial Steph and Brendon, reckon.

    The monstrous mongrel has a tough-guy snarl and a bit of a wild streak – but don’t worry, he’s generally well behaved and certainly man’s best friend. He’s also a bit of a cutie. Don’t believe me? Well, the woof’s in the puddingo!

    Q: What does the Big Golden Dog eat at the movies?
    A: Pup-corn!

    The prodigious pooch was crafted by local builder Gary Smith and his mastiff proportions are truly impressive, with more of a yellow collar than the expected sparkly gold. Obviously constructed with love, care and true skill, this beautiful bowwow also has a charming homemade quality, which is part of the appeal of all the best Bigs.

    The original design was a little ruff, looking more like a mogwai than anything, so The Golden Dog was givena facelift in 2020. After the work he was every bit as cheek-pinchingly adorable as Pat the Dog, and just as strappingly handsome as Dunkeld’s Big Dog. Don’t worry, Goldie, even the most dapper gents have dabbled with cosmetic surgery – but I’m not sure we saw the same surgeon!

    It’s not uncommon to see gangs of bearded motorcycle riders, mouth agape, staring in wonder at this giant dog during their weekend rides. Families gather to worship him. The beer garden is particularly pup-ular with patrons, and is the perfect place to enjoy a beer or ca-nine. In fact, it’s so nice you might want to stay fur-ever!

    Yes, the behemoth barker is certainly labr-adorable, but I feel sorry for whoever has to clean up his big golden poo!

  • The Big Merino, Goulburn, NSW

    The Big Merino, Goulburn, New South Wales

    Have you herd about the world’s largest farm animal? Don’t be sheepish, visit the ewe-mungous Big Merino today! At 15.2m high, 18m long and weighing more than 100 tonnes, you’ll be amazed by the shear size of this gentle giant, who features p-ruminant-ly on the Goulburn landscape.

    The Big Merino is the brainchild of Big Thing luminaries Louis and Attila Mokany, who were also behind Taree’s outrageous Oyster and Ballina’s prodigious Prawn. Designed by Gary Dutallis and built by Glenn Senner, the project took around six months to com-bleat.

    The woolly wonder came ram-paging into town in 1985, with hundreds of thousands of tourists c-lamb-ering to see him. Along with a gift shop and a museum dedicated to the region’s wool industry tucked away inside his belly, our mammoth mate’s eyes provided a wonderful view out over Goulburn’s verdant fields.

    I still remember the first time I met this friendly farm animal – it was love at first sight because I’d never seen a roadside attraction on such a scale, or with so many incredible details. He looks like he’s about to wander off into the wilderness at any moment!

    Q: Where does the Big Merino get his wool cut?
    A: At the baa-baa!

    His legion of fanciers came to know him as Rambo but don’t worry. Unlike his action film namesake, he has a calm disposition and is highly unlikely to attack you with a machine gun.

    When Goulburn was bypassed by the Hume Highway in 1992, many of Rambo’s admirers feared for his future. However, we needn’t have worried. In 2007 he was plonked on the back of a truck and moved 800m up the road to his current home near the southern exit ramp.

    I was lucky enough to witness the move, along with thousands of others, and to this day it remains one of the most inspiring feats of human achievement. I was so inspired, in fact, that I trotted straight over to Karoonda, South Australia to see their take on The Big Ram.

    Today, Rambo is more striking than ever. Cosmetic work was carried out after his migration to complete his legs and add some other minor details, and his eyes now peer out over a nearby Bunnings Warehouse. I guess he has something in common with his brothers the Prawn and Big Kev in that regard! The sprawling gift shop in his tum-tum has plenty of Big Merino souvenirs at great prices, so they won’t try to fleece you!

    Q: What do you get if you mix the Big Merino with Matilda the Kangaroo?
    A: A woolly jumper!

    Baaaaaaa-t wait, there’s more! It seems that a small number of scoundrels purporting to be friends of the Bigs have taken to molesting Rambo’s rude parts, which are displayed prominently at the rear of the beast. Many, tragically, delight in taking photos of this act of treason. Whilst I’m sure they believe this to be funny or clever, it is neither.

    In fact, it’s a gross exploitation of our friend’s privacy. He has feelings, too, so please leave his Big Balls alone. Admire them, sure, but leave his balls alone. If you dare send me a photograph of this manner, you’ll end up on Rambo’s Hall of Shame. You’ve been warned. You might think you can get away with it, but you can’t pull the wool over my eyes!