There’s only one place where you can snap up a sensibly-priced socket set, swallow a scrumptious sausage sandwich, and sequester yourself back 65 million years to the age of the sauropods – and that’s Bunnings Palmerston. It’s home to Big Kev the brachiosaurus and trust me, he’s excited!
Kev is absolutely massive, to the point it can be difficult to snap a good photo with him without his head disappearing out of the frame. Fortunately, a smiling team member at the adjacent hardware store was only too happy to help out with my shoot, suggesting poses and really bringing Kev’s cheeky personality to the forefront.
A future Helmut Newton, perhaps?
Tall, dark and oh-so-handsome
At 18 metres high, Kev’s one of the tallest Bigs around, towering over the nearby Lefty the Big Pink Buffalo. He’s also one of the most handsome, because the attention to detail on his robust physique is extraordinary. He ‘saured into Finlay’s Stone Masonry shop in 2007, having been designed and built by an Asian wonderkind who specialises in crafting oversized creatures for theme parks.
Store owner and Big Thing tragic Tom Finlay even made sure the beautiful beastie was cyclone-proof, so he would last for thousands of years. Despite initial opposition from locals, Kev’s gorgeous grin and calm disposition won them over, and he became a beacon of hope for the town.
But, just like in the Academy Award-winning film Jurassic Park and its poorly-received sequels, things were about to go crazy for this sky-high stud. Bunnings Warehouse bought the Finlay’s site and busted the big bopper into pieces in 2019, leaving him as broken and shattered as the hearts of the people of Palmerston.
There he lay for more than a year, with the Territory’s red dirt entombing him. Hope was lost, crime rates soared, and it seemed as if Kev’s older sister, Ploddy, and his bashful niece Digby, would be left to mourn his passing.
Dinosauring back into our hearts
But that would be underestimating the passion of Palmerstonians. They took to the streets, signed petitions, and threatened violence if Kev wasn’t resurrected. Bunnings, who have a history of bringing decaying Bigs back to life, listened. When their new store was completed in 2020, Kev was placed proudly at the entrance. It took several days, but the energetic boys from local construction company Sunbuild did a fabulous job.
Kev welcomes every happy shopper who drives into the spacious, undercover car park, pointing them towards the bargains to be found inside – perhaps he grabbed some tips from the Big Prawn and the Big Merino, who also help out at Bunnings? Grubby tradies and soccer mums join together to take happy snaps with him. Palmerston is now one of the safest, happiest, towns on the planet. All because of Kev, the barnstorming brachiosaurus who defied extinction to bring love and hope to a generation.
On a related note, I think he’d look great with a top hat on his head! Let’s make it happen!
