Category: Central America

Central America, Guatemala

La Mano Verde, San Pedro, Guatemala

Gnarled, quinoa-stained fingers reach towards us from behind an intricately-carved and eminently-Intragrammable mahogany doorway, and then the yoga pants-clad creature claws its way towards us. Eyes rolling within its peeling skull, tongue flapping in its mouth like a dying fish, the hippy shuffles forth, muttering obscenities about ayahuasca and the patriarchy. The stench – an acrid mixture of blueberry vape smoke and unwashed armpits – … Continue reading La Mano Verde, San Pedro, Guatemala

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Big Animals, Big Birds, Central America, Guatemala

Majestuoso Tecolote, Ciudad de Guatemala

Looking to cross a majestic Big off your list and grab a competitively-priced home loan for your Guatemalan chalet at the same time? Then head to any branch of Banco Industrial, where you might find El Majestuoso Tecolote, a festively-decorated owl of epic proportions, right next to the ATM. I’m talon you, it’ll be worth the trip! Twenty-two of these enormous creatures were created by … Continue reading Majestuoso Tecolote, Ciudad de Guatemala

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Big Animals, Big Birds, Central America, Guatemala

Ebony y Ivory, Los Pocitos, Guatemala

Guatemala is home to a vast array of birdlife, from quetzals to macaws to toucans, earning it a reputation as a feather fancier’s favourite place in Central America. For lovers of hummingbirds – known as colibri in the local dialect – Guatamala is without peer. On warm spring afternoons, the air becomes heavy with sound of their hovering. There are 38 varieties of the flamboyant … Continue reading Ebony y Ivory, Los Pocitos, Guatemala

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Big Clothing, Central America, Guatemala

La Bota Gigante, Pastores, Guatemala

This boot ain’t made for walkin’He’s just a work of artBut one of these days this boot is gunnaWalk into your heart Next time you need of a pair of handcrafted purple-and-green cowboy boots whilst travelling through Guatemala, pop into the charming industrial village of Pastores. Whilst there, you can’t possibly miss La Bota Gigante, an enormous boot that stands proudly at the entrance to … Continue reading La Bota Gigante, Pastores, Guatemala

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Central America, Guatemala

Priscilla la Silla, Ciudad de Guatemala

Guatemalans are, statistically speaking, the tiniest people on the planet, so it should come as no surprise that their chaotic capital city has been built around an effigy of a high chair. Priscilla la Silla, as she is known to the eclectic mix of street urchins and aristocracy who gather at her feet, serves as an opus to the hopes and aspirations of the deeply … Continue reading Priscilla la Silla, Ciudad de Guatemala

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Big Animals, Central America

SLOTH, Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica

Slothfulness, the Bible tells us, casts one into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger (Proverbs 19:15). Well, it might be time to update the Good Book, because this sizeable sloth guides the way to one of the finest eating establishments in Costa Rica. Known by the mononym of SLOTH to his galleon of admirers, this happy fellow forms the entrance to … Continue reading SLOTH, Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica

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Central America

Las Latas Gigantes, León, Nicaragua

Nicaraguans are a bunch of big babies, so it should come as no surprise that they’ve erected a gran tótem to their favourite brand of comida para bebé. That’s baby food to you, el gringo. The cherubic Nicas (as those of us ensconced within the beating womb of América Central call the passionate locals) are obsessed with Nido powdered milk. They sprinkle the scrumptious powder … Continue reading Las Latas Gigantes, León, Nicaragua

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Central America, Guatemala

Monumento A La Paz, Guatemala City

Give peace a chance! Oi, thicko, I said give peace a chance, or I’ll knock ya bloomin’ teeth down ya throat! Tee-hee, how did you like my tough guy impersonation? I workshopped it for months with my acting coach Reuben, before boarding the Land of the Bigs private jet for my visit to the machismo-fuelled Central American hotpot of Guatemala. The region’s earned a bad … Continue reading Monumento A La Paz, Guatemala City

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