The Big Milkshake (O Milkshake Grande), Brazil

The Big Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And I’m like, it’s bigger than yours
Dang right, it’s bigger than yours
Can’t drink it, ‘cos it’s just too large

There’s no use crying over spilt milkshake, because this dairly-loved Big Thing is a real cream-boat! O Milkshake Grande lives in front of the Damay Cafe in the seaside resort town of Piçarras, and is just begging for a curdle. If you’d like to choc him out, you won’t want to skim read this entry!

He’s tucked away behind some sort of Roman pillar, slow down or he’ll zip pasteurise in a second. Fortunately The Big Milkshake won’t be going anywhere soon. He can’t exactly walk away, because milkshakes lactose.

The cafe he promotes offers a delicioso range of bolos, lanches e burguers. Muito bom! Oh, desculpe… I mean, sorry. Seems I slipped back into days as a big, bad Brazilian beach boy. I went by the name of Rodrigo and spent my days selling caipirinhas on the streets and my nights learning the forbidden dance known as Forró.

I was even able to convince one of the baristas, Bruna, to pose for a photo with me. Unfortunately, due to the language barrier she believed this to be a marriage proposal. My efforts to explain that I had eyes only for the Milkshake fell on deaf ears.

As members of her family descended upon the cafe with dowries of sheep and other livestock, I pretended to see soccer star Pele drinking in a bar across the road, and and escaped as the family raced over to mob him. I hope the experience didn’t sour Bruna on milk-based products for life.

Don’t be leite, visit the Big Milkshake today!

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