Spot the Dalmatian, Manhattan, New York, United States of America

Dogs love chasing cars, but this pooch actually caught one. Of course, it helps that she’s 38 feet tall! Spot the Dalmatian is the pet project of roguish sculptor Donald Lipski, and can be found loyally guarding the Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital in Manhattan.

Playful, joyous and large enough to stand out amongst the chaos of the city, Spot’s not only man’s best friend – she’s man’s BIGGEST friend!

A remarkable example of urban roadside architecture that blends the comical with the hyperreal, Spot consists of a stainless steel frame covered by a rather fetching fiberglass dog body. Toyota donated a full-sized Prius taxicab to balance upon her snout and, whilst the engine has been removed, the headlights work when it’s dark and the wipers wave whimsically during inclement weather.

Donald, ever the altruist, designed the doggy to take the spotlight off the tribulations of the hospital’s young guests.

“It’s a privilege to be able to do this for the kids,” the artiste growled. “I wanted to make something so astounding it would distract even those arriving for the most serious procedures, and so loveable that young patients coming back again and again with chronic conditions would see it as an old friend.”

The local kiddies are probably begging for a broken leg or a case of the sniffles!

“I like to think that the parents, the doctors and nurses and staff, the neighbours, will all be smitten by this playful, heroic young dog doing the impossible,” Don yapped. “Art has actual healing power. That’s a fact!”

Proving that you can, indeed, teach an old dog new tricks, Donald saw this as an opportunity to spruce up an aging part of Manhattan. The massive mutt was adopted by the city in 2018 and given the humorous moniker of Spot, surely a commentary on the inhumane naming conventions of modern American pets.

Personally I would’ve called him Bark Obama, or named him after that famous New York pop artist, Andy Warhowl!

Dog-tor, dog-tor, gimme the news
I got a bad case of lovin’ you!

Laughter is the best medicine, but a two-and-a-half storey dog must be a pretty close runner-up. Fortunately, you don’t need to be sick to see Spot, just bound through the East Side of New York and you’re bound to spot her. But please consider printing off a map before you leave your hotel, as phone reception can be quite spotty – teehee!

When I visited Spot, she was wearing a mask – probably to ward off COVID canine-teen! She’s a good girl and very approachable, but there are a few ambulances around, so be patient. And remember, Dalmatians to the hospital are always welcome!

Oh, and if she’s not there when you visit, don’t bother putting up a giant lost dog sign, because Spot’s probably swanning about in the Meatpacking District!

Come on, these jokes surely deserve a round of a-paws!

There may be 101 Dalmatians, but there’s only one Spot. There are, however, many other Bigs around the Big Apple, such as Private Passage and Adam. Forget dining in Michelin-starred restaurants or taking in an acclaimed Broadway show when you’re in New York – do what your old friend Bigs Bardot did and spend all your time traipsing through the traffic in search of oversized architecture.

Of course, if Spot has you frothing at the mouth at the prospect of seeing more massive mongrels, you’re in luck. From The Big Golden Dog and Pat the Dog to Big Dog and Joaquin the Dog, the world really has gone to the dogs!

Hey Mr DJ, put a record on, I wanna dance with my puppy

As I worshipped at Spot’s prodigious paws, a pair of slender hands covered my eyes from behind, their owner struggling to suppress a giggle.

“Guess who,” came a syrupy, yet all-too-familiar voice. The hands were removed and I turned to see my close friend, beloved character actor DJ Qualls. You might know him as the skinny guy from the 2000 comedy classic Road Trip. I just know him as Deej.

We first met, quite appropriately, at a dog obedience school out in Calverton. Neither of us owned a dog, it was just a good way to meet people. And it worked, because it was puppy love at first sight.

“I certainly hope you’re here for the enormous Alsatian, and not for something more serious,” yelped Deej in his trademark southern cadence, and my heart broke as I saw genuine concern in his chocolatey eyes. He may be a renowned Hollywood hard man, but DJ Qualls does indeed have a softer side.

“He’s a Dalmatian,” I replied with an impish grin, drawing Deej to my bosom for a hug. “And I’ve never felt more alive.”

The details of our conversation shall accompany me to the grave but that afternoon, in the blooming shadow of Spot the Dalmatian, DJ Qualls and Bigs Bardot – two wandering souls thrust together by happenstance – explored life and love and the metaphysical realm that flows between us all.

And dogs. We talked a lot about dogs.

Hours later, Deej yawned one of his complex yawns, and looked from the yellow cab atop Spot’s nose to me with those eternal puppy dog eyes.
“Well Bigs, I have a taxicab confession to make – I’m beat,” he uttered. “Hopefully we’ll run into each other beneath another Big Thing soon.”
“I’m sure we will, Deej, I’m sure we will.”

We lingered in each other’s embrace for a sumptuous moment, then DJ Qualls scurried up Spot’s back and ripped open the taxi’s door. After one final sleepy grin, he climbed inside and curled up on the front seat, safe for the night.

Well, New York is notoriously expensive, even for a Hollywood heartthrob.

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