Give peace a chance! Oi, thicko, I said give peace a chance, or I’ll knock ya bloomin’ teeth down ya throat!
Tee-hee, how did you like my tough guy impersonation? I workshopped it for months with my acting coach Reuben, before boarding the Land of the Bigs private jet for my visit to the machismo-fuelled Central American hotpot of Guatemala. The region’s earned a bad reputation for gang crime and kidnappings but, thankfully, the only thing the local Chapins stole was my heart.
Oh, and my wallet.
Guatemala’s frenzied capital, with its crumbling churches, endless traffic and sweeping views out over bubbling volcanoes, is also home to a fistful of beautiful Big Things. Most notable are the Monumentos a la Paz, several sets of enormous hands scattered throughout the citadel.
The original Monumento a la Paz was unveiled beside the National Palace of Culture on December 29, 1997, to much applause. Created by local artiste Luis Fernando Carlos León and cast from bronze, it took five months to build and cost 125,000 quetzales – a figure that must’ve caused much hand-wringing.
Two silken appendages, raised towards Guatemala’s eternal azul skies, seem poised to release a dove as a symbol of peace. The dove, sadly, was never actually installed at the original location – although I’m sure there’s a former government official out there somewhere with a lovely bronze bird sitting in the middle of his living room.
The base features 16 intertwined arms that symbolise the united people of Guatemala after years of civil war and bloodshed. Much like the counterfeit Nike shirts that are freely sold throughout Guatemala, reproductions of the Big Hands could soon be seen on street corners throughout this tropical paradise.
Hands up if you love Big Things!
Huge hands are popular across the glove – sorry, make that the globe! – with massive mittens to be found in Uruguay, England and the United States. None, however, are as Guatemazing as the Monumento a la Paz.
I encountered this particular set of clappy chappies in a well-manicured garden in the notorious Zona 1. Whilst it’s not the original version, it is the most spectacular, with dozens of chubby-cheeked Chapins lining up to place white roses upon its carefully crafted base.
The park the piece is perched within is, sadly, far from peaceful, with trucks and cars whizzing by. I found it quite difficult to pose for these photos with all the cat calls and offers of dates coming from the passing traffic.
Honestly, hombres, grow up! Until América Central moves past being a society sautéed in toxic masculinity and patriarchal hegemony, she shall never reach her full potential.
In saying that, Juan Pablo, you can pick me up for tostadas and dancing at 8pm!
