He might be modeled after the most brutal, bloodthirsty bushranger in Aussie history, but the only thing The Big Ned Kelly is going to steal is your heart! The six-metre-tall buckethead prefers taking photos to taking hostages, but is still very much on the most wanted list of anyone travelling through rural Victoria!

The original, smaller, nastier Ned became a national hero during the 1800s, as he pranced around robbing stagecoaches and slaughtering policemen with a glorified garbage bin on his head.

Police shot and arrested him in the remote village of Glenrowan in mid-1880, then hanged him later that year. But his legend has continued to grow.

It certainly is odd to have a Big designed after a hate-filled murderer – I can’t see Ivan Milat getting one any time soon, But the big guy is one of the friendliest, most peaceful roadside attractions you’ll ever meet.

Erm, as long as you ignore the massive shotgun he’s wielding!

Bucketloads of Big Bushrangers

Glenrowan has become a Mecca for Ned-Heads, so it’s no surprise there’s actually been three Big Bushrangers banged up over the years. The town erected the first in 1980. A group of street toughs stole him one stormy night and dumped him in a nearby river – a sad, if somewhat appropriate, end.

The Glenrowan Tourist Centre displays the second, but visitors must pay to see him. Ah, Ned, pinching money from the public once again!

Sydney special effects guru Kevin Thomas created the current version of The Big Ned Kelly, which has towered over the town since 1992. He weighs a zaftig 1.5 tonnes, cost $12,000, and it would be a crime not to visit him. Being so large means it must be difficult for Ned to find shoes that fit comfortably. Perhaps he could visit The Big Shoe, which is just down the road at Frankston?

This isn’t the only king-sized Kelly around, though. An almost identical twin brother lives in Maryborough, Queensland, and a much smaller Ned lives in NSW. Ol’ Ned never went within cooee of those places, so the Victorian version wins the award for authenticity.

As an added bonus, you can have your photo taken with this Ned and then brag to your chums that you went on a tropical holiday to Maryborough – how wonderful!

Glenrowan is home to a number of shops selling Ned Kelly memorabilia, and the prices are reasonable so it’s not highway robbery. There’s an educational trail that rambles around the town’s historical sites, and you’ll have the crime of your life gaining insight into Ned’s last stand.

The Glenrowan Hotel, which is right next door to where Ned was taken down, is a pleasant pub where the only shots to be found these days are served by the barman.

Ned’s last stand

For years, descendants of Kelly’s victims have campaigned to tear down the statue, saying it brings back the terrible memories of family members Kelly gunned down in cold blood. I say grow up! A pelican stole my donut back in 1987 and I stepped in some dog poo-poo last week, but you don’t see me trying to cancel their respective statues.

They say you should never judge a book by its cover. Well, you should never judge a Big Thing by the fact he’s wearing a terrifying metal suit and carrying a shotgun.

Ned’s one of the largest men I’ve ever been with, and a bad boy with a heart of gold. Nobody should have to twist your armour to go see him!