Guatemala is a glorious gallimaufry of timeworn Mayan culture and western excesses, striking natural beauty and decaying concrete slums, crushing poverty and obscene wealth. To explore this sizzling Central American country is to be marinated in mesmerising music, heartbreaking history and the concept of keeping dogs on rooftops.
Never is this cultural gumbo more glaring than during the weekly wander down Avenida Las Americas. It’s a right of passage for the residents of Guatemala City, and de rigeur for all tourists passing through.
Every Sunday, between 8am and 2pm, this bustling street on the border of Zones 10 and 14 is shut down and transformed into a heaving tribute to the Guatemalan way of life. Thousands of Chapins of all colours and classes crowd together to celebrate their beloved jungle country.
Families guzzle Little Caesars pizzas in the shade of towering gumtrees, before building forts with the greasy boxes. Kids kick hand-painted soccer balls, or splash around in the tepid waters of Plaza Argentina as firemen spray them with hoses. Some weave through the masses on scooters, following the scent of sizzling burgers and shukos, before plunging into the roadside restaurants.
Pineapples, loaded with corn chips and peanuts, are served. Gay guys, stripped to the waist and with abs glistening in the afternoon sun, rollerblade past beggars in faux Goorin Bros hats. Famished families line up for plastic plates of whatever’s being given away for free that day – beans or eggs or rice.
Sometime it’s pet food – cat or dog or hispid pocket gopher, it doesn’t really matter – and fathers can be seen dragging bags of it off into the alleyways with their shoeless children trailing behind. Dinner, it seems, is sorted for the night.
May the faucet be with you
But the largest crowds surround the fabled El Gran Grifo – or The Big Tap to those less travelled. This remarkable example of Latin-American roadside architecture, which comes with an oversized plant pot for good measure, can be found outside the Hidrobombas water pump emporium – just up from the Pollo Campero chicken restaurant, which heaves to capacity on a Sunday afternoon.
Handcrafted by a team of Guatemala’s most talented artists, El Grifo employs a deceptively simple design to distill the very essence of the city into a single shrine. It represents the crystal clear water that allowed Mayan civilisation to flourish, and the Spanish technology that empowered it to become something even greater.
A national icon it may be, but The Big Tap is not immune to the characteristic Guatemalan decay. Water once flowed freely from the faucet and, through trickery, gave the impression that it was suspended in the air. The pump has long since ceased to function, however, leaving an exposed steel pipe in its place.
This does not prevent Chapins from stopping by to drink from it. It’s not unusual to see a little fellow trot over during a steamy afternoon playing with his hula hoop, lean in for a refreshing gulp, and boink his head on the pipe. But such traumas are par for the course in this swarming city.
Considered by many to be Guatemala’s answer the Trevi Fountain, The Big Tap has become a popular place for marriage proposals. Sadly, no matter how long I spent there or how cute I looked in my custom-printed Land of the Bigs t-shirt, none of the gay rollerbladers asked for my hand in matrimony.
Oh well, hombres. If you see me hanging out by El Gran Grifo, just give me a friendly tap on the shoulder!
