This boot ain’t made for walkin’
He’s just a work of art
But one of these days this boot is gunna
Walk into your heart
Next time you need of a pair of handcrafted purple-and-green cowboy boots whilst travelling through Guatemala, pop into the charming industrial village of Pastores. Whilst there, you can’t possibly miss La Bota Gigante, an enormous boot that stands proudly at the entrance to the town.
Built to attract customers to the town’s many shoe shops, La Bota Gigante has been a massive sock-cess and is a shoe-in as the greatest attraction in Central America. With a heartwarming, guileless aesthetic that perfectly represents the hardworking ethos of Pastorians, this large loafer really is the heart and sole of the town.
Although its location on a busy intersection can clog up traffic, one can’t help falling head over heels in love with this fifteen-foot-tall footwear!
Known as La Ciudad de las Botas – The City of Boots – Pastores is just a 10 minute drive from the tourist hotspot of Antigua. It makes for a pleasant escape from the hordes of waddling American tourists and festering, mannerless French backpackers who have overrun the cobblered streets of the historic citadel.
I have a sneakering suspicion you’ll love it!
You’re boot-iful, it’s true!
La Bota Gigante isn’t the only giant boot around – there’s The Big Doc Martens, Hat ‘n’ Boots, The Big Shoe and The Big Ugg Boots – but it’s the only one that’s home to a policeman! Yes, as Bigella and moi were posing for these wholesome happy snaps, we were delighted to see a robust law enforcer emerge from the small room beneath the boot, rubbing sleep from his eyes after a well-earned nap. If you see Constable Guillermo when you stop by, say hola to him for me!
As it turns out, I could have used his assistance, as my journey to Pastores almost ended in my untimely demise. Gather round, kiddies, for Bigs has a tale of woe in intrigue to tell!
After poring over the shoe shops for several hours, Bigella finally settled upon a set of garish Guatemalan galoshes that really popped against her outfit. I, however, opted for a pair of bespoke pink rhinestone pumps with vetted tassels, which I felt were a fitting tribute to my luminescent personality – and certain to get tongues wagging!
Eager to break in my boots and show them off to all and sundry, I laced them up for a strut through some of Antigua’s more impoverished suburbs.
Hoping to raise the spirits of the poor and vulnerable with my vibrant fashion choices, I was instead treated to an afternoon of terror when a couple of local tough guys, bubbling with unrestrained machismo, bombarded me with wolf whistles and lewd intimations.
Geez, if I knew that was all it took to get a bad boy’s attention, I would’ve bought the boots years ago – teehee!
