Wood you like to visit a towering tomahawk and grab a load of quality kindling at the same time? I’ll go out on a limb and take that as a yes, so hatchet a plan to swing by Big Axe Firewood in beautiful Box Hill!
The Axe lives beside busy Windsor Road, ready to welcome anyone lumbering along. He’s behind a fence, so I asked the nice lady in the chop if I could take a few happy snaps. She said yes and didn’t even ask me to stump up cash for the honour!
As you can see, I was dressed pretty sharply for the occasion. Did I cut it as a big, rugged lumberjack in my flannel tunic? Chop chop with your answer, I don’t want to have to axe you again???
The Axe looks fantastic and is almost as large as his twin up north in Kew. His owners obviously love him, because he’s been freshly painted and the yard he’s in is well maintained. I just hope he doesn’t hook up with the Hardware Man and try to lop down the nearby Big Koala‘s tree!
For more information on this massive marvel without having to cleave home, log on to the Big Axe’s website. You could even send him a tree-mail. Don’t worry, there are no hackers on there!
The Big Axe is, quite surprisingly, single. He is, however, hoping to find a girlfriend on the popular dating app Timber.
Itsy Bitsy the Big Spider Climbed up the water tower Down came the rain And made the spider cower Out came the sun And dried up all the rain And Itsy Bitsy the Big Spider Climbed up the tower again!
You’d hate to be a fly in the cosy village of Urana, because it’s home to a spider the size of a small car! But don’t be scared, because this aspiring web designer is a charming chap who you absolutely arach-need to meet. In fact, he’s so popular they might have to rename the town Tarant-Urana!
Despite being a fair way up the tower, Itsy Bitsy is a lot of fun to take photos with and easy to find, living at the end of the main street, next to a small lake with community BBQs. He certainly didn’t mind putting on a tough guy act as I shrieked in terror!
Itsy Bitsy was created by local artist Andrew Whitehead and revealed in May 2009, taking up residence on the town’s imposing water tower. Made from scrap metal and piping – similar to Murray the Cod – he has eight lovely eyes (doesn’t that make him a spiiiiiiiider?) and loves spinning a yarn. Fittingly, he’s around eight feet tall.
Brave Andy installed this Big Thing all by himself, which certainly impressed a flabbergasted reporter from the Border Mail. “Mr Whitehead, who is afraid of heights, installed the artwork himself, climbing a 16m ladder then walking around the 30cm rim of the tower carrying an 8kg bracket and 8m of cable,” the breathless report read.
“Once the bracket and cable were in place a cherry picker raised the spider into position and it was secured with the three cables.”
Easy Spider
Thankfully, Andy didn’t build a Daddy Long Legs because Urana’s overrun by bugs; he was in-spidered by the town’s legendary former Aussie Rules team, who were known as the Spiders and surely must’ve played at Webley Stadium.
Today this not-so-creepy crawly is the coolest dude in town and it’s customary for him to appear in wedding photos – newlywebs think he’s the greatest. I’d love to hear more from Itsy Bitsy, so hopefully he’ll launch an arthro-podcast soon!
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, the good people of the Southern Highlands mustn’t have seen a quack in years! The un-Bool-ievable snack is conveniently located just off the Hume Highway and is as fresh as the day it fell off the tree.
Despite being de-cider-edly larger than anything you’ll find at a green grocer, you’ll be disappointed if expecting something on the scale of the Big Melon, Big Banana or Big Pineapple. It’s still very apple-ing, though!
The beachball-sized Red Delicious poses pompously atop a quaint sign for the historic Tennessee Orchard, which until recently offered a mouthwatering array of fruit, veggies, marmalades, jams, chutneys and eggs. Tragically the farm is currently closed, after being core-t in a freak hail storm a few years ago.
This Big Apple is just one of nearly a dozen variations spread around Australia – in fact, there’s another less than an hour down the road at Tallong, and the two fanbases have developed a heated rivalry. You’ll have to visit them all to see which one’s the pick of the bunch!
Our next Big weighs in at seven tonnes and hails from Humpty Doo, Northern Territory. He is the saltwater slugger, the concrete treat and the leather-weight champion of the woooooooooorld… ladies and gentlemen, put your claws together for the Big Boxing Crocodile! Or Bite Tyson, as I like to call him!
Our punchy pal was made possible by enigmatic businessman Marshall Brentnall. He was hoping to draw attention to his Humpty Doo Bush Shop. Inspired by the boxing kangaroo logo used in Australia’s successful 1983 America’s Cup campaign, he contacted Sydney artiste Ray Park to complete the six-metre-tall colossus. After 14 weeks of construction and two weeks of painting at the Sydney Prop Centre, he made his debut in 1988. Not surprisingly, he was an instant hit with the locals!
And just how much does a legendary Aussie boxer Kostya? Oh, around $120,000 – bargain!
Whilst he looks like a cold-blooded killer, the croc is actually a big baby with a kind heart. The quality of his design and construction is extraordinary and he ticks all the boxes to be a Big Thing Hall of Famer, ranking alongside fellow lizard Ploddy, the Big Pineapple and the Big Prawn. He’s huge, regionally-appropriate, easy to take photos with and zany enough to stand out from the crowd.
He got knocked down, but he got up again
Like many of his massive mates, Bite Tyson’s had some Rocky years, and spent time in a state of disrepair. Fortunately the adjacent petrol station has given him a lick of paint and cut back the unruly bushes at his feet, so he’s not ready to throw the towel in yet!
He rounds out an assortment of NT lizards including the Giant Jumping Croc, George, and the Croc Hotel down the road at Jab-iru. There’s no denying that this absolutely glove-ly pugilist is a real knockout – and that’s a unanimous decision.
Oh, and I was going to finish off with another amusing quip, but I can’t remember the punchline!
Please note that, whilst I appear to be making aggressive gestures towards this gentle giant in some photos, it was all in good fun and with the permission of the Big Boxing Crocodile. He has a wonderful sense of humour! Do not mock/threaten any Big – they’re placid, sensitive creatures and here to be admired. Aggression towards them will not be tolerated!
I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK I sleep all night and visit Bigs all day!
Axe yourself this – how much excitement can you handle? If the answer is ‘plenty’, then swing by this towering tool and get ready to chop till you drop!
A fixture of the exquisite Camden Haven district since 1979, the wonderful whacker celebrates the local timber industry and rests happily beside the iKew Visitor Information Centre. He was replaced in 2002 after famished termites did a real hatchet job on him, but when I stopped by in 2015 he was in a poor state once again. Trust me, I had an axe to grind with those responsible!
Sadly, the centre also suffered from a severe lack of Big Axe memorabilia. I carefully explained to the kind woman behind the counter that it was a missed opportunity, and that I would return in several years to reassess the situation.
I’m thrilled to say the Axe’s splinter of discontent is over! The Big Axe was completely rebuilt by cleaver members of the Kendall Men’s Shed, and the natives were Kew-ing up when it was unveiled in 2017. The 800kg tomahawk now rests on supports that are two metres shorter than the old ones, making happy snaps a little easier.
A magnetic attraction
Best of all, Brazilian Big Thing guru Bebezinga Grande and I were elated to discover the Visitor Centre now offers not one but two Big Axe magnets. The gentlemen in attendance thanked me for my dedication to the cause, and those magnets have now become a sought-after home decorating accessory in South America.
The chop-ularity of the Big Axe has even led to a replica in Western Sydney. Alright, they’re not axe-actly the same, but they’re close enough.
Whilst the Pacific Highway bypassed Kew years ago, this Big can be reached with a short detour on your way north towards the Big Golden Dog or south to the Big Oyster. The volunteers at the Visitor Centre are always up for a chat, so make sure you don’t axe-dentally pass it by!
Football, meat pies, kangaroos and the Big Banana. This prodigious plantain has grown to become a huge part of Australia’s national identity. He represents this great country’s culture and history, hopes and dreams. Every child holds fond memories of popping into the Banana on a road trip up north, having their photo snapped in front of the Coffs Harbour icon, and then smashing into a delicious chocolate-covered frozen banana at the adjoining cafe.
This is Australia, distilled to her essence and molded into one 13-metre-long potassium-powered Big Thing.
The Big Banana sits proudly above the Pacific Highway and is unmissable as you drive past. He’s massive, bright, and exquisitely crafted. The friendly fruit is also perfectly positioned for a photo (as the long lines prove!) and is large enough to walk through. The small yet absolutely fascinating agricultural exhibit inside is unmissable.
If you feel like monkeying around, the Banana-themed fun park really Caven-dishes up the thrills! Peel off your clothes at the water park, spend an elongated afternoon at the putt-putt golf, or take on the terrifying toboggan ride, which is suitable for both men and lady-fingers.
For those who flat out refuse to eat anything that’s not yellow, there’s a mouthwatering cheesemaking workshop. If you’ve got a sweet tooth, head to the cafe for a banana split (fortunately they’re available seven days a week, not just on sundaes). Unfortunately I’m no longer able to enjoy this delicious treat due to an unfortunate incident during my childhood – but don’t let that stop you from tucking in!
Australia goes bananas!
Banana salesman John Landi dreamed up the yellow fellow in 1964, to get tourists to stop by his fruit stand. After hiring – and subsequently firing – a local youth to dress as a gorilla and dance for traffic, he heard word of a pineapple of epic proportions that was doing a roaring trade in Hawaii. The time was ripe to jump on the Big Thing bandwagon, so he tapped engineer Alan Chapman and builder Alan Harvey to make it happen. It had to B1 of the best decisions ever!
Construction ran smoothly and the Big Banana opened a year after Australia’s first giant roadside attraction, North Gosford’s Ploddy the Dinosaur, snarled his way into our hearts in 1963. That hasn’t prevented the Banana’s owners from falsely promoting him as the original Big Thing – but that’s a bunch of lies!
Success was immediate, with Bananarama taking over Australia, and the plantation was greatly expanded to cover most of the surrounding hillside area. Giant produce, such as the original Big Pineapple and the Bilpin Fruit Bowl, popped up around the country in tribute. The profile of the ‘King of the Bigs’ exploded, culminating in a massive period of growth in the late-80s, when a whole bunch of exciting attractions were brought in from the recent Expo ’88 in Brisbane. There was even a train ride with a terrifying bunyip, which I particularly enjoyed as a young chap!
The Banana goes rotten!
The Big Banana was hailed as Australia’s Big Yellow Smile and became more famous than the Great Barrier Reef and the Sydney Opera House combined. But things were about to get rotten for vitamin-fuelled lothario. A few bad business decisions and a general perception that Big Things weren’t cool anymore (they always were and always will be, of course) led to the massive decline of the park.
A number of the attractions were sold off – including the poor bunyip – and the Banana was left to wilt in the hot North Coast sun. Like the Big Pineapple and the Big Prawn, it seemed like this decaying delicacy had passed its best-before date.
Proving miracles do happen, some more investment came in, the park was expanded again, and the Big Banana was given a new lease on life. The Banana has returned to its rightful place as one of the world’s greatest tourist attractions, on par with Disneyland and Machu Picchu, and no Australian child shall ever go without a visit to this humongous health food. Raise your chocolate-coated frozen bananas high in the air, as we toast the beating heart of Australian society.
For many years the rural village of Apple Tree Creek was synonymous with its legendary Big Beer Bottle, but when it was sent to the big recycling bin in the sky, roadside attraction lovers had little reason to slow down as they zipped along the Bruce Highway.
But don’t just fly on by, because eagle-eyed Bigs aficionados will notice that Apple Tree Creek’s now home to the Big Parrot. He appears to be a Norwegian Blue and may or may not be pining for the fjords. The chunky bird’s a bit rough, looking like he was knocked together in someone’s backyard. He does, however, have a silent pride in his eyes, and a peck-uliar grin on his face.
The azure avian has been dumped haphazardly outside the award-winning Flying High Bird Park. It’s home to more than 3000 feathered friends from across the globe. All the birds in there are normal-sized, though, so I didn’t bother going inside.
I highly recommend you take a squawk on the wild side and have a claws encounter with this odd, little-known and underappreciated Big Thing. It really is a wing-wing situation, even though he’s not as snappily-dressed as his beaked buddy the Big Penguin. Or wild and zany as his feathered friend Pete the Pelican. Or as popular with the locals as the legendary Big Chook. Alright, Owl stop!
The only question is, shouldn’t Apple Tree Creek be home to, you know, a Big Apple?
He might be modeled after the most brutal, bloodthirsty bushranger in Aussie history, but the only thing the Big Ned Kelly is going to steal is your heart! The six-metre-tall buckethead prefers taking photos to taking hostages, but is still very much on the most wanted list of anyone travelling through rural Victoria!
The original, smaller, nastier Ned became a national hero during the 1800s, as he pranced around robbing stagecoaches and slaughtering policemen with a glorified garbage bin on his head. He was finally shot and arrested in the remote village of Glenrowan in mid-1880, and hanged later that year, but his legend has continued to grow. It certainly is odd to have a Big designed after a hate-filled murderer – I can’t see Ivan Milat getting one any time soon – but the big guy is very welcoming of visitors.
Bucketloads of Big Bushrangers
Glenrowan has become a Mecca for Ned-Heads, so it’s no surprise there’s actually been three Big Bushrangers banged up over the years. The first, constructed in 1980, was stolen by a group of street toughs and dumped in a nearby river – a sad, if somewhat appropriate end. The second lives inside the Glenrowan Tourist Centre and can only be seen for a fee. Ah, Ned, pinching money from the public once again!
The current version took over the town in 1992, and was built by Sydney special effects guru Kevin Thomas. He weighs a zaftig 1.5 tonnes, cost $12,000, and it would be a crime not to visit him. Being so large means it must be difficult for Ned to find shoes that fit comfortably – so perhaps he could visit The Big Shoe, which is just down the road at Frankston?
He’s not the only king-sized Kelly around, though, because he has an almost identical twin brother up in Maryborough, Queensland. Ol’ Ned never went within a few thousand kilometres of the Banana State, so this version wins the award for authenticity. As an added bonus, you can have your photo taken with this Ned and then brag to your chums that you went to Maryborough – how wonderful!
Glenrowan is home to a number of shops selling Ned Kelly memorabilia, and the prices are reasonable so it’s not highway robbery. There’s an educational trail that rambles around the town’s historical sites, and you’ll have the crime of your life gaining insight into Ned’s last stand. The Glenrowan Hotel, which is right next door to where Ned was taken down, is a pleasant pub where the only shots to be found these days are served by the barman.
Ned’s last stand
Descendants of Kelly’s victims have campaigned for years to tear down the statue – and his twin in Maryborough – as they stir up terrible memories of family members being gunned down in cold blood. I say grow up! A pelican stole my donut back in 1987 and I stepped in some dog poo-poo last week, but you don’t see me trying to cancel their respective statues.
They say you should never judge a book by its cover; well, you should never judge a Big Thing by the fact he’s wearing a terrifying metal suit and carrying a shotgun. Ned’s one of the largest men I’ve ever been with, and a bad boy with a heart of gold. Nobody should have to twist your armour to go see him!
“There was an old woman who lived in the Big Shoe. Which had many admirers, most notably you The colossal clog has big, fluffy laces And through the windows peer happy little faces”
Diehard Big Thing aficionados dream of living inside a giant roadside attraction, and there are few cosier homes than this giant jogger. Sure, it’s a little rundown, but it has lovely feet-ure windows and boot-iful views of the Mooraduc Highway, so I have a sneaker-ing suspicion you’ll agree it’s prime heel estate!
The Big Shoe set tongues wagging in 1967, when the Bata Shoe Company unveiled it as a float for the Frankston Australia Day parade. Apparently Beta’s managing director, a Mr Gordon Thring and his nephew Roger snoozed in the sandal the night before, to ward off any ill-tempered thugs who might attempt to damage their creation.
The float was such a hit that it was a walk-up start in parades across Victoria for a number of years, before slipper-ing off into retirement at Two Bays Garden Supplies. It’s a festive history reminiscent of Pete the Pelican, Matilda, Lefty and Buffy the Cane Toad; unfortunately this story doesn’t have such a happy ending. It’s sat neglected for decades, and is currently in a sad state of disrepair. It’s a tragic end for a local icon that’s been on so many adventures. The Big Shoe is in desperate need of a cobbler, but nobody wants to foot the bill.
Whilst not as grand as Thornton’s Ugg Boots, these cleats are full of character and are a fun throw-back to the swingin’ sixties. It’s certainly worth making a thong and dance about. Groovy, dude!
My companion on this trip, Frankston-born singer-songwriter Scott Cairns, has many wonderful attributes but unfortunately has little appreciation for large roadside attractions. Imagine my surprise, then, when he was moved to tears as he recalled riding the Big Shoe during the 1969 parade. It was then that I realised just how much this icon means to the people of the Mornington Peninsula – it really is the heart and sole of the place.
If alcoholics see pink elephants, then those who prefer the intoxicating allure of Big Things must see pink buffalos! This festively-coloured fella is named Lefty, due to the unfortunate fact one of his bulbous, confronting testicles is larger than the other. Alright, alright, settle down! Small things (or, rather, massive dangly things) amuse small minds, I guess.
To spend a right good time with Lefty, buffalo your instincts to the delightful Travans Cars & Commercials, where you can have your photo taken with a giant roadside attraction and buy a second-hand Toyota Hilux in the same afternoon.
When I visited, nobody bothered coming over to chat to me during the 45 minutes I spent taking photos – probably because a burning passion for Big Things and an appreciation for reasonably-priced ex-fleet vehicles rarely go hand-in-hand.
Lefty pranced into the Territory as a grey-coloured parade float many years ago, in a similar manner to the Big Shoe and Percy the Big Pelican. He bullied his way into the hearts of Darwinians and gained a ravenous supporters club, so he was purchased by a local buffalo trading company and popped on permanent display. I don’t know about you, but that’s the sort of thing that would convince me to buy an enormous beastie!
A snazzy new paint job for Lefty wasn’t enough to keep the company afloat, and during the bankruptcy proceedings he ended up with his current owners. He seems happy enough in the car yard, much like Taree’s Big Oyster.
It seems like he could still be wheeled out for a party, but that he hasn’t hit the social scene in many years. So rock up, meet the Pink Prince and please, don’t say anything about how he got his name – Lefty is a sensitive soul.
Want to tackle another Big? Then allow me to lure you towards the dusty outpost of Katherine, where there’s a fish so large you’ll be swimming in tears of pure joy when you encounter her!
The Big Barra can be found perched pleasantly atop the Rod & Rifle Tackle World shop (open Mundi to Saturdi). At three metres long, she’s certainly some-fin special and still the talk of the town after several decades. Being so high up means she’s harder to take a photo with than fellow scaley scamps Murray the Cod or Manilla’s dapper Big Fish, but her exuberance more than makes up for this.
The Big Barramundi is certainly worth baiting for. It’s almost as if she’s fishing for compliments. Oh, aren’t I trout-landish!
Sadly, spending an afternoon with the old girl isn’t the magical experience you might expect. Katherine is a troubled town and this Big has been left floundering in a particularly rough neighbourhood. It’s not unusual to witness gill-egal activity whilst admiring the fish.
As I was swanning around in my flamingo tunic, a procession of ne’er-do-wells swaggered past to abuse me. Few, if any, had an appreciation for the cultural significance of the watery wonder, and said so in no uncertain terms when I floated the topic.
Honestly, some people don’t know how lucky they are to have an oversized fish to marvel at each and every day.
Don’t be frightened of this fang-flashing fella, because he’s friendly! And he wouldn’t be able to chase you anyway, because he’s missing his back legs and just sort of merges into the fertile Tasmanian earth. The Tassie Terror is a curious and unforgettable Big in a quiet corner of the country, and you’ll have a hell of a time if you visit this devil!
Despite extensive research from myself and my sidekick, Brazilian Big Thing savant Bebezinha Grande, we were unable to pinpoint the devil’s exact age. Going by the style of the craftsmanship, which is eccentric, whimsicall and slightly homemade, my guess is he arrived sometime in the 70s. He certainly looks good for his age!
The titanic Tassie lives out the front of Trowunna Wildlife Sanctuary, where you can see smaller, more active devils for a small fee. That’s not marsupi-all they have, either, because the sanctuary is home to wombats, kangaroos, quolls, pademelons, owls, eagles, swans and ducks. No penguins, though, but you can see one of those just up the road.
Speaking of the Big Penguin, the Tassie Devil seems a bit underdressed in comparison. In fact, you could say that the Devil wears nada!
Nearby Mole Creek is home to 609 very friendly people and is famous for its honey, the nearby limestone caves, and the historic Mole Creek Hotel – which has a Big Tassie Tiger above the door! The village is also ideally positioned within 90 minutes drive of the astonishing Dove Lake and Cradle Mountain, so nature lovers are in for a treat. There are no moles around, though, making this another town that should be renamed to better represent its most famous resident.
I was absolutely devil-stated to say goodby to this happy chappy!
The good folk of the charming seaside village of Penguin must’ve struggled for years to decide which Big Thing would best represent them, before finally deciding on a penguin. And what a marvellous, happy chap he is, with a gorgeous smile on his beak, a proud posture, and a delightful top hat upon his handsome head.
This 3.15m-tall Taswegian is very cool indeed, and represents everything good and wondrous about Australia’s Big Things. He’s beautifully crafted, represents his region well, and demands to have his photo taken. Visitors can’t help but feel good around him – he’s a true national treasure!
It hasn’t been an easy journey for this frigid flightless fellow, and his incredible story is something you likely haven’t bird about. He was supposed to fly in to celebrate the town’s centenary in 1975, but the company behind the project got cold feet and were unable to follow through.
A local hero, Mr R.M. Foster, tottered in to take over construction and had our avian amigo constructed out of cement within three days. A more deserving member of the Big Hall of Fame you’ll never meet!
Q: Why shouldn’t you write a book on penguins? A: Beak-ause writing a book on paper is much easier!
Penguins are worshipped as demi-gods in her home city of Florianópolis, so my companion for this trip, Brazilian Big Things aficionado Professora Bebezinha Grande, was over the moon to meet him. She’s a very small woman and he’s a very large penguin, so they were best friends in no time! Professora Grande also enjoyed meeting the slightly smaller, but still oversized, penguin that resides outside the Visitor Information Centre across the road.
The Big Penguin is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to attractions in this part of the world. The village is lovely, with plenty of places to eat and drink, whether it’s warm and sunny or fireplace weather. The penguin theme runs throughout the streets, with bins and bollards all decorated as black-and-white birds.
Stanley, home of a long-extinct volcano known as The Nut, is just an hour’s drive west. Most importantly, the Penguin’s best mates, the Big Tassie Devil and the Big Wickets, are nearby so pop down to say g’day! It’s an informal and friendly region, so don’t bother bringing your penguin suit.
This roadside attraction is a peng-winner, so run, don’t waddle, to see him as soon as possible!
Stumped for something to do this weekend? Then run out to see this above-average-sized set of cricket wickets – they’ll bowl you over!
The very appealing Big Wickets were swing-stalled one day in 2009, in honour of Tasmania’s first Test cricket player, Jack Badcock. The wickets are an astonishing six-metres-tall, meaning Jack would’ve stood 15 metres if he was in proportion to them!
So maybe they should’ve called him Jack Bigco… alright, maybe not!
Despite some fine craftsmanship and impressive dimensions, the wickets are a little uninspired. My companion on this visit, Brazilian Big Thing expert Professora Bebezinha Grande, declared that an oversized cricket ball resting by one of the wickets would really make this attraction pop.
Perhaps even a batting helmet or a protective box, just to be quirky. I’m inclined to agree, as it would add some much-needed colour. Regardless of these minor issues, this maiden believes it’s a keeper!
If you’re running a little late, don’t worry, because it’s not six-o’clock and out and there’s no nightwatchman, so you can admire them 24 hours a day! Or maybe even five days in a row if you want an authentic Test cricket experience.
Bat wait, there’s more! The fun’s not over once you bail from the Big Wickets. Westbury is a dazzling town with heaps to offer, such as the baffling hedge maze with more than a kilometre of pathways, and Pearns Steam World, with one of the world’s largest collections of historic trains. It’s a quiet place where time seems to stop, within a short drive of Mole Creek, home of the lovable Big Tasmanian Devil, and not too far from the Big Penguin.
Next time you’re cray-ving a succulent seafood sandwich whilst driving along the Bruce Highway, nip in to the Shell service station at Miriam Vale. Not only will you encounter the most sensational food in the Gladstone region, but you can get up claws and personal with the lovable Big Crab!
He’s around two-metres wide and hasn’t scuttled off the roof of the servo since arriving in 1979, because he’s a bit of a hermit. But don’t worry, he doesn’t swear much and is certainly not a crass-tacean! Honestly, I still have to pinch myself to realise my encounter with this Big wasn’t just a dream!
Compared to other sea-dwelling Bigs such as Taree’s outrageously oversized Oyster and the colossal Croc Hotel, this side-strolling stud doesn’t impress with his size, and being on the roof means he can be a menace to take a cheeky selfie with.
Cars kept rolling into the service station as I posed with the snappy chappy, but the drivers invariably smiled and nodded, obviously understanding the majesty and wonder of this particular roadside attraction.
“That giant crab and your sparkling smile are enough to make me forget about the spiralling price of fuel,” one gruff farmer screamed as he peeled out of the car park. I had similar positive responses when I posed with a similar crustacean in San Francisco. I guess it’s hard to be crabby around a Big Thing!
Crabsolutely Fabulous
Former owner of the petrol station, Lex Milner, crafted the colossal cutie to draw attention to his impressive range of home-made crab sandwiches. The delightful Allan and Judy Taylor adopted the amazing arthropod more than two decades ago and still watch their mouthwatering delicacies scurry out the door to this day.
I indulged in one of these irresistible treats and I can tell you there’s nothing fishy about them. I did feel a little guilty tucking into one of the Big Crab’s relatives in front of him, but he’s got a hard shell and didn’t seem too bothered by it.
Please make sure you’re sitting down before you read this, Biggies – The Big Shell is no more! The new owners of this icon removed it during renovations to the property in 2021. Well, I guess they were the ones who shelled out for it.
This entry has been preserved as it was written, so we can all go back to a simpler time, when Tewantin was synonymous with its beautiful Big Shell.
Even though this three-metre-tall beauty recently shell-ebrated her 60th birthday, she’s still a must-sea attraction! The Big Shell was built to draw customers to the popular Big Shell shop, which sold – surprise surprise – a wide selection of shells.
The store’s closed these days, and now the shell sits proudly in the front yard of a regular house in downtown Tewantin – imagine how awesome it would be to walk through a Big Thing every time you pop out to check the mail!
The Big Shell is well-hidden in a quiet, leafy residential street, making for a very different Big experience. It feels a bit weird to pose for photos in a stranger’s front yard, but from all reports the owners are welcoming to any Big Thing enthusiasts who wash up at their doorstep. If you see them, give ’em a wave!
You Always Leave Me Tewantin More
The property sold in 2020 for the bargain price of $600,000, and hopefully the new owners will maintain the Big Shell for years to come, because she really sands out from the crowd. The area is something of a graveyard for Bigs, with the Shell’s friends the Big Stubby and the House of Bottles being tragically torn down in recent decades. Happily, the Big Pelican is still flying high in nearby Noosaville, so make shore to check it out!
If you’d like to listen to the sounds of the ocean swirling around inside another giant shell, the paradisical village of Terrigal recently welcomed The Odyssey of Life. There’s also a huge conch shell in México, if you ever pop in there for a taco and some Big Thing hunting. I’m not usually one to kiss and shell, but I’m sure you’ll find it un-beach-lievable!
I loved my visit to Tewantin’s Big Shell, and fortunately I was able to scurry away before a Big Hermit Crab crawled out to pinch me!
A wonderful bird is the Big Pelican His beak can hold more than his belly can He’s the size of a house And really quite grouse I can’t wait to visit my friend Pete again!
Next time you spread your wings and visit the Big hotspot of the Sunshine Coast, make a splash landing in the seaside resort town of Noosaville, home of the Big Pelican! The overgrown chicken – known to his legion of admirers as Pete – boasts an un-beak-lievable backstory – after all, how many other Big Things have spent time at the bottom of the ocean?
The supersized seabird hatched in 1977, and spent his early life as a float for the Festival of the Waters parade – a similar childhood to fellow Queensland legends Buffy the Big Cane Toad and Matilda the Kangaroo, and NT megastar Lefty the Big Pink Buffalo. The pelican could turn his head, open and shut his bill, flap his wings, blink his eyelashes, and wiggle his tail cheekily as his fans flocked to see him
The float was so advanced that it took two dedicated technicians to keep Pete running, using a complicated system of levers, pulleys and cables. Sports stars, politicians, beauty queens and TV stars were seen riding on his back, but their celebrity was often overshadowed by that of the pelican. Pete didn’t get a big head about it, though, because he already had one!
Peli-can things get any worse?
The early 80s were a rough time for Pelican Pete, who deteriorated badly and was at one point dumped into the Noosa Although it might sound like an abs-bird coincidence, the same thing happened to the other Big Pelican in South Australia. It seemed like a tragic end for such a beloved figure.
However, he was plucked out of the drink and put on permanent display next to Pelican Boat Hire. His functionality was restored – apparently the bill was particularly large! To this day, he still flies out for parades, making him one of the few mobile Bigs.
There are few more picturesque locations for a Big Thing, and few things in life match the joy of eating a bag of hot chips under a lush Noosaville tree, the sparkling river on one side, the world’s largest penguin smiling happily on the other.
A number of local shops sell Pete souvenirs and, best of all, the Big Shell is only a few minutes away in Tewantin. I’m not sure life peli-can get any better!
A brief note on Trudi
Amidst my dalliance with Pete, I was approached by Trudi, a Noosaville local with a strong affinity for this plucky Pelican. Trudi told me that she sees Pete every single day on her morning walk and, from the way she played with her hair when she was around the affable chap, it was obvious their relationship is very special indeed.
“Pete’s the only man who’s never let me down,” gushed the long-time reader of this very website. “No matter what state I’m in, or how bedraggled, Pete always greets me with a big smile and a non-judgemental attitude. Unlike my ex-boyfriend Diego! Now that’s one guy who would never make it onto a website called Land of the Bigs, if you know what I mean.”
I do, Trudi. We all have a Diego in our past.
For fear of turning Land of the Bigs into a crass dating site (long-time readers will remember how that turned out last time), I’d like to welcome respectable expressions of interest from any young men who’d like to step out with Trudi. Honestly, this girl needs a man, she’s been spending too much time around that pelican!
They say the smile of a Lithgow local could light up the darkest night, so it’s appropriate that the town is home to the world’s largest miner’s lamp. I’m sure you’ll find a visit to this behemoth beacon, two hours west of Sydney, to be an illuminating experience!
The Big Miner’s Lamp is one of the more sizable Bigs, but I didn’t even realise what it was until I stopped by and gave it a good look. It’s not well publicised and gives the impression that the lantern was plopped on top of the building as an afterthought.
I’ve always had my reservations about Bigs that weren’t originally designed as such, and this structure is a glowing example of this concerning trend. I apologise if that statement was somewhat incendiary! The Big Lamp, however, should still be kero-seen.
The area’s Visitor Information Centre resides within the bowels of the large lantern, and the friendly volunteers are only too happy to point you in the direction of Lithgow’s other highlights, such as the breathtaking Hassan’s Walls lookout and the quirky Small Arms Factory.
They outshine the Big Lamp who, by comparison, can come across as a bit reserved. A wackier, more inventive design could’ve gone a long way to changing Lithgow’s dreary reputation. But you know you want to see it, so don’t torch-er yourself, check it out today!
After herring rumours of a big fish in Manilla – the lovely country town half-an-hour from Tamworth’s Big Golden Guitar, not the capital of The Philippines – I was hooked on the idea of tracking it down. After taking some time to mullet over, I headed out there, and am happy to say that it reely was worth it. In fact, standing next to this fishface, with his delightful top hat and cane, we both felt a little underdressed!
Details of when the Big Fish was constructed are a bit fin on the ground. Locals de-bait when he first swam into Manilla. All I know is that he’s an impressive seven metres tall, and goofy-looking enough to splash his way into anyone’s heart. Despite being the same species, he’s about as different from St George’s modern and artistic Murray the Cod, Tocumwal’s historic Cod, or Darwin’s whimsical Big Barramundi, as you can imagine.
The giant groper stands proudly outside the Big Fish Roadhouse in the middle of town, which is sadly closed these days. We didn’t go hungry, though, because Manilla boasts a generous selection of restaurants, pubs and clubs, and we were feeling a little green around the gills after stuffing ourselves with delicious food at the Royal Hotel!
Manilla’s also home to an historic Chinese cemetery, a delightful campground by the Namoi River, and one of the world’s most famous paragliding launches. All in all, it was a good excuse to get trout and about, and the day went swimmingly. I fish I had more time to spend with my new mate, but was very pleased with the happy snapper I took!
If imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery, the original Big Pineapple must have an ego even bigger than he is! This North Coast icon has spawned spiky spin-offs around the world, from Woombye and Gympie in Queensland to Bathurst in South Africa, but to many he’s still the most scrumptious tropical treat.
At a modest four metres from supple bottom to prickly top, the Ballina Pineapple is outsized by his imitators. He’s a quirky throwback to a gentler time – like Gumlu’s Big Watermelon, which is dwarfed by Chinchilla’s Big Melon. He’s certainly not lonely, with his disciples often stopping by for a photo. His best mate, the Big Prawn, also lives right down the road. Maybe they should change the name of the town to Ba-large-na!
Little is known about the age of the Pineapple, or who built him. Most locals believe he’s been sitting outside the BP service station since the beginning of time. It would be easy to fritter away an afternoon speculating on when he was built. Ultimately, however, it would ultimately be a fruit-ile endeavour. I definitely don’t remember a time when my spherical chum wasn’t a focal point of any trip up north!
There’s just enough space to squeeze inside the juicy giant. It’s even possible to pop your cheery little face out the window for a memorable photo. Just look how happy my Brazilian companion Bebezinha Grande was to meet him! Abaca-she had the time of her life!
All in all, the Big Pineapple makes for a pine day out!
Have you herd about the world’s largest farm animal? Don’t be sheepish, visit the ewe-mungous Big Merino today! At 15.2m high, 18m long and weighing more than 100 tonnes, you’ll be amazed by the shear size of this gentle giant, who features p-ruminant-ly on the Goulburn landscape.
The Big Merino is the brainchild of Big Thing luminaries Louis and Attila Mokany, who were also behind Taree’s outrageous Oyster and Ballina’s prodigious Prawn. Designed by Gary Dutallis and built by Glenn Senner, the project took around six months to com-bleat.
The woolly wonder came ram-paging into town in 1985, with hundreds of thousands of tourists c-lamb-ering to see him. Along with a gift shop and a museum dedicated to the region’s wool industry tucked away inside his belly, our mammoth mate’s eyes provided a wonderful view out over Goulburn’s verdant fields.
I still remember the first time I met this friendly farm animal – it was love at first sight because I’d never seen a roadside attraction on such a scale, or with so many incredible details. He looks like he’s about to wander off into the wilderness at any moment!
Q: Where does the Big Merino get his wool cut? A: At the baa-baa!
His legion of fanciers came to know him as Rambo but don’t worry. Unlike his action film namesake, he has a calm disposition and is highly unlikely to attack you with a machine gun.
When Goulburn was bypassed by the Hume Highway in 1992, many of Rambo’s admirers feared for his future. However, we needn’t have worried. In 2007 he was plonked on the back of a truck and moved 800m up the road to his current home near the southern exit ramp.
I was lucky enough to witness the move, along with thousands of others, and to this day it remains one of the most inspiring feats of human achievement. I was so inspired, in fact, that I trotted straight over to Karoonda, South Australia to see their take on The Big Ram.
Today, Rambo is more striking than ever. Cosmetic work was carried out after his migration to complete his legs and add some other minor details, and his eyes now peer out over a nearby Bunnings Warehouse. I guess he has something in common with his brothers the Prawn and Big Kev in that regard! The sprawling gift shop in his tum-tum has plenty of Big Merino souvenirs at great prices, so they won’t try to fleece you!
Q: What do you get if you mix the Big Merino with Matilda the Kangaroo? A: A woolly jumper!
Baaaaaaa-t wait, there’s more! It seems that a small number of scoundrels purporting to be friends of the Bigs have taken to molesting Rambo’s rude parts, which are displayed prominently at the rear of the beast. Many, tragically, delight in taking photos of this act of treason. Whilst I’m sure they believe this to be funny or clever, it is neither.
In fact, it’s a gross exploitation of our friend’s privacy. He has feelings, too, so please leave his Big Balls alone. Admire them, sure, but leave his balls alone. If you dare send me a photograph of this manner, you’ll end up on Rambo’s Hall of Shame. You’ve been warned. You might think you can get away with it, but you can’t pull the wool over my eyes!
Proving that one man’s trash is another man’s Big Thing, Murray the Cod was built completely out of rubbish – and the end result is a gill-a-minute experience! He truly is some-fin special and, whilst I’m not sure what weight he tips the scales at, he’s surely one of the biggest aquatic critters in the tuna-verse!
Acclaimed sculptor Dion Cross spent more than 18 months designing and building Muzza out of discarded tools, old farming equipment and scrap metal, and the big fella was completed in 2019. If he looks swam-iliar, that’s because he might remind you of another scrap metal Big, Kurri Kurri’s Kookaburra.
Murray’s one of the most chilled-out Bigs, and can be found relaxing by the banks of the peaceful Balonne River. St George is the inland fishing capital of Queensland, so this 2.5 metre-long bait-biter is certainly popular with the locals.
Whilst it’s worth making a trip out to St George just for Murray, this tranquil outback town offers plenty more to see and do. Queensland’s westernmost vineyard, the Riversands Winery, is a short walk up the road, and there’s also the famous Unique Egg museum. Yes, it’s all it’s cracked up to be! Located (or should that be yolk-ated?) in the main street, it’s home to dozens of intricately-carved emu eggs.
There’s something fishy going on in North Queensland, and it has to do with this titanic tin of sardines! The packet of pilchards rests peacefully in Lloyd Mann Park, and surely has the key to your heart!
The box of smelly fish was created by Vass Engineering and sign writer Sam Scuderi, and peeled open to the public at a gala event in 2018. John Woods, president of Home Hill’s wildly successful Harvest Festival and the mastermind behind the sardines, told those in attendance that this Big symbolises the fact his festival is open for ideas.
That certainly seems to be the case, because if you turn up at the right time of year you’ll see all sorts of oddball ornaments strewn around the park. I encountered a terrifying dragon in addition to a tyre dressed up as a frog. Hey guys, what are you putting in the sardines up there!
Woods went on to explain that Home Hill once housed a sardine cannery. However, judging by the raucous laughter from the audience, he was just fishing for a laugh.
The Big Sardine Can is an odd, yet well-realised and endearing roadside attraction that straddles the boundaries between Big Thing and work of art. It’s a brine alternative to the outlandish Big Fish and the more serious, thoughtful Big Barramundi, providing a different perspective on just what it means to be an enormous sea creature. Just make sure these salty fish don’t end up on a Big Pizza!
Bigs in this region of Queensland are packed in like, well, sardines, with the Big Pumpkin, Big Watermelon and Big Snake all within a short drive – so you can see them all in a single scrumptious afternoon!
If you’re planning to hit the frog and toad on a trip up north, don’t froget to stop in at Sarina to see this ample amphibian! At around one metre wide and one metre high, Buffy isn’t the largest Big Thing around, but I’m not croaking when I say she’s one of the cutest!
The story of this friendly frog is truly ribbeting. Buffy started life as a papier maché float at the 1983 Sarina Sugar Festival, and was such a hit with the locals that he was cast in fibreglass and placed in the main street. It’s a similar tale to that of other Queensland icons Pete the Pelican and Matilda the Kangaroo, and the boot-iful Big Shoe in Victoria.
A Name-the-Frog competition in 1998 came up with Buffy, which was supposedly a play on the cane toad’s former scientific name Bufo marinus, but more likely a reference to the popular TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. One can only assume that other options included Seinfeld, Home & Away and Everybody Loves Raymond.
Buffy was given a new lick of paint in 2016, and skipped up onto a platform to give herself a better view of the passing traffic. The local council also added a plaque celebrating four other famous Cane Toads from Sarina – rugby league superstars Dale Shearer, Kevin Campion, Martin Bella and Wendell Sailor.
I bet the boys are hopping mad that they didn’t get their own statues!
She’s toad-ally awesome, dude!
Despite the cane toad’s reputation for being a poisonous nogoodnik, I’m pleased to report that Buffy – like her stingy chums the Giant Jellyfish in Darwin – didn’t try to kill me even once!
Buffy’s actually been frog-napped a number of times, but has thankfully has always found her way back home. These days she’s chained to his concrete slab, so don’t get any ideas about taking her home as a souvenir.
Speaking of which, I was unable to find any magnets, stickers, t-shirts or anything else with Buffy on them, which was a tadpole disappointing.
The heart of Australia’s sugar cane industry, Sarina is a sweet little town of around 5000 people. The beach and mountains nearby, and it’s only half an hour from the buzzing metropolis of Mackay.
I’m not am-fibbing-an when I say you’ll be feeling des-pond-ent if you don’t bounce along to Sarina and see Buffy toaday!
This agri-cultural landmark has to be seed to be believed! The wonderful watermelon sits blissfully by the side of the Bruce Highway at an open-air fruit and veg shop, and despite being a bit old fashioned provides Big-thusiasts with a gourd opportunity for a happy snap.
Details on when this delicious treat rolled into the Queensland sunshine are thin on the ground, but it’s certainly been wowing bypassers for generations. The fruity beauty is around three metres wide and it’s possible to wander inside and pop your little face out the window for a healthy and happy photo. The Gumlu soil is obviously fertile, as the Big Pumpkin sprouted up just a few metres away, making for a nutritious diet of Big Thing goodness!
Whilst this North Queensland icon has been overshadowed by the newer, larger and more famous Big Melon at Chinchilla, it remains a quaint reminder of a simpler time. Pip and say hello!
Next time you’re veget-able to visit North Queensland, go see this gourd-geous guy – trust me, he’ll give you pumpkin to brag about to your chums! The three-metre-tall delicacy rests contentedly by the side of the Bruce Highway and has really carved out a reputation as one of the state’s finest attractions.
The circular superstar is charming and well-realised, with a cartoony cheekiness that begs to be explored. The history of the Pumpkin is less accessible, however, with locals unable to remember a time when it wasn’t sitting outside the village’s fruit and veg shop. I guess that stems from the fact the world was a poorer place without this sun-kissed sweetie.
Gumlu is barely a speck on the map, but the Big Pumpkin is certainly not lonely. Not only does he have his legion of admirers stopping by for a hug and a happy snap, but his best mate the Big Watermelon lives a few metres away. He’s also a short roll away from Ayr’s Big Snake and Bowen’s Big Mango – so the area is a smorgasbord for lovers of Bigs. That alone should squash any doubts about whether you should head there!
You need to ‘Kurri’ along and see this winged wonder, and that’s no laughing matter!
The king-sized kingfisher landed in 2009, stands a regal 4.5-metres tall, and was built to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the nearby Hydro Aluminium smelter. As you can see from the photos, he’s absolutely beautiful, and local artist Chris Fussel obviously put a lot of love and care into his work.
Honestly, the craftsmanship is awesome, and the Big Burra should be considered a genuine work of art. I’ve seen some gorgeous roadside attractions, and none surpass this winged wonder. His claws are made out of old horseshoes and his feathers have been individually forged, so he’s a step up from most of his fellow Bigs.
It’s a shame he’s stranded in the underwhelming Col Brown park, because he deserves better than to peer out on some pawn shops and the local Centrelink. In saying that, you could do worse than enjoying the warm feather by sharing your sandwich with the big boy on a pleasant afternoon. They also sell Big Kookaburra magnets across the road at the tourist information centre, which is a plus!
The Big Kookaburra is nice and close to The Big Ugg Boots and Ossie the Mossie, making for a great day out hunting Big Things. You can enjoy this fascinating fowl and then hop along to the nest ginormous stupendous statue. Or you could include this beaked beauty in a tour of all the amazing avians this country has to offer, such as Pete the Pelican, the Big Parrot, Chinute Chinute and ‘Stunning’ Stanley the Emu. You’d be cuckoo not to!
He’s flappin’ magnificent and available seven days a beak, so chick him out! But beware, your time with him will fly by!
These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do, one of these days these boots are gonna be in a photo with you!
The Big Ugg Boots swaggered into town back in April 2015, and being so close to the Pacific Highway means they’re the perfect place to kick up your heels on a journey north or south. Weighing in at 600kg each and made from fibreglass and steel, they’re a step up from your usual shoes.
They’re tough, too – less than 24 hours after their grand unveiling, a cyclone raged through the Hunter Valley, but the stupendous slippers weathered the storm.
Every so often, the owners invite local artists along to give the Uggies a new coat of paint. As you can see, they feet-ure a festive paintjob at the moment, and the artist obviously injected a lot of sole into decorating this Big.
The adjoining Mortels Sheepskin Factory has a small number of Big Uggies nik naks, and a huge range of woollen goodies so don’t be sheepish – pop in and have a look! The checkout chick was particularly friendly and helpful when I dropped by, which helped make for a splendid day out at this very new Big Thing.
Shoe strings and Big Things
Being so close to the Big Kookaburra at Kurri Kurri and Ossie the Mossie at Hexham means that the Hunter is fast becoming a new hot spot for Big Things, and makes a perfect trip for anyone who admires larger than life roadside attractions. If you’re looking for a scruffier, yet slightly more historic shoe to worship, there’s the Big Shoe in Victoria.
If you’re a tough guy, maybe the Big Doc Martens are more your style. Prefer your booties to have wheelies? Don’t be ashamed! Just head to the Big Roller Skate! Oh, and if you ever find yourself in Guatemala – and, let’s face it, most people will at some point, make sure you trot along to La Bota Gigante.
You don’t need to have a foot fetish to visit these colossal clogs, so you’ll be kicking yourself if you miss them!
Even though he was never completed, abandoned within years of opening, and now houses a car dealership, the outrageously oversized Big Oyster is a real pearler! He’s enormous, goofy, overblown, tragic, beautiful and repulsive – and that’s what we all love about our Bigs!
The incredible invertebrate opened in 1990, as the last of three Bigs built by brothers Louis and Attila Mokany. He followed Goulburn’s Merino and Ballina’s Prawn, and has suffered even more misfortune than those troubled ventures. Pleased with their work on the Prawn, the Mokanys once again tapped Adelaide-based Glenn Industries and scallop-tor James Martin to work on this project.
As Australia’s leading historian on Big Things, it came as a surprise to all when I, the inimitable Bigs Bardot, wasn’t consulted regarding the design and budgetary considerations. Maybe it was because I was only seven years old at the time, maybe it was because of the patriarchy, I’ve never received an answer.
The people of Taree, who invested their hopes and dreams into this behemoth bivalve mollusc, have rued this decision ever since. For my pearls of wisdom may have saved years of heartbreak.
Dis-oyster strikes
Yes, dear reader, setting up this 20-metre-high, 27-metre-wide, 70-tonne sea monster wasn’t all smooth sailing. Construction ran wildly over budget, costing more than $700,000, and took so long that the boys had to make some serious cutbacks just so they could open it to the public.
I know, that shucks, but it’s just what happened.
Whilst the top of the Oyster – you know, the bit visitors can’t see – is exquisitely crafted, the bottom features almost no detail at all, and was simply sprayed with concrete as the cash ran out.
A giant, luminescent pearl that was planned as the centrepiece of the attraction was never installed, and apparently sits in the offices of Glenn Industries, after a dispute regarding payments.
Whilst I’m appalled that someone would be shellfish enough to keep a part of a Big Thing all to themselves, it sounds like bliss to be able to walk into the office every day and experience the heart and soul of the Big Oyster!
Best of shuck to you!
Regardless of these fish-ues, Big Thing fiends were clam-ouring to sea the Oyster when he was prised open by New South Wales Premier Nick Greiner in 1990. I was lucky enough to mussel into the crowds, and remember feeling particularly oysterous that afternoon!
Unfortunately I struggled to build an emotional connection with him (the Oyster, that is, not Nick Greiner), due to his impersonal styling, awkward angles for photos and, yes, lack of a handsome face.
His size inspires awe, and he originally boasted a shop full of Oyster nik-naks and plenty of information on Taree’s burgeoning oyster farming industry. Sadly, The Big Oyster’s popularity soon festered like a seafood platter left out in the sun on a hot afternoon, and he was taken off the menu in 1995.
The Big Oyster’s fate was sealed when the Pacific Highway bypassed the town two years later, and he now serves as the headquarters of the Mid Coast Automotive Group where, ironically, the prices aren’t big at all! Car yards are popular resting place for Bigs, with Lefty the Big Pink Buffalo also living amongst a bunch of used vehicles. This sort of thing just drives me wild!
The Big Oyster, once the soul of Taree has been supplanted in the hearts and minds of locals by Joanna the Goanna. Well, she is a little bit more huggable!
Yes, this Taree icon is a bit of a seafood basketcase, and maybe that’s why I love him so much – because I am too. Really, we’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year. Running over the streets of Taree, my oyster and me. Delicious with garlic and beer, wish you were here.
I sure felt like a shrimp compared to this supersized sea creature! The princely prawn is one of the most famous and celebrated roadside attractions on the planet, and for good reason – he’s massive, looks fantastic, and has an unbelievable tale… or is that tail?
Actually, it’s both! When the Prawn first swam ashore back in 1989, he looked like a Big Fish had been nibbling on him, because his bottom bits were missing.
Financed by the legendary duo of Attila and Louis Mokany (the Big Thing gurus behind Goulburn’s Merino and Taree’s Oyster) and designed by South Australian sculptor James Martin, his top half rested on top of a service station. He was on a scale nobody antici-bait-ed, but as a child I was always a bit sad because he appeared unfinished.
Curiously, Martin wasn’t originally supposed to design the Prawn, with that honour bestowed upon Tony Colangelo, the legendary designer of the Big Oyster.
However when that project faced a series of delays, the Mokanys grabbed someone from the local art school. It’s an incredible series of events, because the Prawn turned out to be intricately detailed and possibly the most impressive Big of them all.
Q: What happened when this Big Thing went to the Olympics? A: He won a prawns medal!
At 27 metres tall and weighing 40 tonnes, the krill-iant construction was designed to be 30,000 times the size of a normal shrimp. He was a hit with holidaymakers, who lined up to explore his splendid insides, which held a museum dedicated to Ballina’s seafood industry, and allowed his friends to peer out his perspex eyeballs. The good times looked like they’d last forever but, tragically, disaster was on the horizon.
The Prawn’s service station was shuttered in 2010, leaving him trapped and alone, with his fans no longer to explore his sprawling innards. His paint faded badly and he started to rot away, leading some closed-minded people to call him an eyesore. It was a bad time for giant shrimp, with the other Big Prawn falling into disrepair at the same time.
As I drove by one afternoon during those bleak days, I was moved to tears when I discovered that a disgusting invertebrate had spraypainted a part of the male anatomy on the poor Prawn’s head.
I was absolutely appalled when I saw it, because I’d rather die than allow a Big Thing to experience a single moment of sadness.
Q: Where’s the best place to buy second-hand Big Thing souvenirs? A: A prawn shop!
For years it appeared this Big Thing would be prawn but not forgotten. Ballina Council voted to tear him down, and his legion of supporters held vigils as they counted down the days till his demise. And then, during the Prawn’s darkest hour, a miracle happened.
Hardware company Bunnings bought him with the intention of moving him to their new warehouse near the original Big Pineapple, at a cost of $400,000. They planned to repaint him and – most remarkable of all – finally give him a tail. You’ve never crusta-seen a celebration like the one in Ballina when it was announced.
The new design is simply magnificent, and I very much prefer it to his original look. It’s sad, of course, that visitors can no longer walk inside him, but it’s a small price to pay to have this mega mollusc back and better than ever. I just hope nobody tries to pop him on the Bunnings barbie!
And that, ladies and jellyfish, is the story of the king-sized crustacean who lost his way but found his tail, his home, and his smile.
If the sound of the world’s largest guitar is music to your ears, you need to pluck up the courage to visit the prosperous city of Tamworth, in the north-west of New South Wales. There you’ll find the enormous Big Golden Guitar, which at 12 metres tall and weighing 500kg, was music to the ears of locals when he rocked into town back in 1988. Slim Dusty was on hand to unveil the large lad, in recognition of Tamworth’s reputation as Australia’s home of country music.
Made from fibreglass and steel, the unreal ukelele sadly has no strings. He has, howebver, struck a chord with the more than four million admirers who’ve had their photo taken with him over the years. The wonder of the Big Golden Guitar is amplified by the fact he’s a scale replica of the trophies handed out at the annual Australian Country Music Awards.
This big axe – not be confused with the actual Big Axe at Kew, four hours away – boasts exceptional build quality and is impressively large. My guest, Brazil’s foremost expert in Big Thingophelia, Professora Bebezinha Grande, went as far as to call it an in-strum-ental part of Australian culture. Don’t pick on her, she tries her best!
Q: How can you tell the Big Golden Guitar is worried? A: He frets a lot.
The incredible instrument is certainly not in the fiddle of nowhere. He’s conveniently located on the main road into Tamworth from the south, outside the Visitor Information Centre. When you drop by, make a day of it by visiting the Country Music Wax Museum or the National Guitar Museum. There’s even a sprawling souvenir shop, which offers a huge variety of nik-naks dedicated to this colossal creation.
You might even run into Lee Kernaghan or one of Australia’s other country music icons at the on-site cafe! Honestly, these guys are lurking around all the time.
“Bigs,” Lee Kernaghan gasped after taking my photo with the Guitar. “You’re the unsung hero of Australian pop culture. Please, take one of my Country Music Awards.” “Lee,” I replied, handing back the trophy he’d thrust into my hand. “I appreciate the gesture, but can’t accept this testament to your hard work and talent.” “Aw, go on. I’ve got 37 of the bloody things and the missus said I have to offload a few.”
And that’s how I, Bigs Bardot, ended up with a Country Music Award and a lifetime friendship with Lee Kernaghan. I believe his latest album was inspired by the Big Chook.
Tamworth makes a great bass from which to explore other Big Things, such as Manilla’s Big Fish, so if you can pull a few strings and spend a bit of time out there, you won’t be disappointed! In fact, after spending an afternoon with the legendary Big Golden Guitar, you’ll want to Epiphone your mates to tell them how good it is!
