Las Latas Gigantes, León, Nicaragua

Nicaraguans are a bunch of big babies, so it should come as no surprise that they’ve erected a gran tótem to their favourite brand of comida para bebé. That’s baby food to you, el gringo. The cherubic Nicas (as those of us ensconced within the beating womb of América Central call the passionate locals) are obsessed with Nido powdered milk. They sprinkle the scrumptious powder … Continue reading Las Latas Gigantes, León, Nicaragua

Finn McCool, Belfast, Northern Ireland

Drenched in the blood of his foes and with his name echoing throughout the verdant pastures of Ireland, the mythical warrior Finn McCool set his sights on yet another adventure – a one-week getaway to a sensibly-priced singles resort in Benidorm, complete with half-board and the drinks package. Spirits, of course, were extra, but Finn felt confident that he could smuggle a bottle of Jameson … Continue reading Finn McCool, Belfast, Northern Ireland

Equus Altus, Leeds, England

“The High Horses” We will fly, to Leeds, oh my!Where the cold wind blowsThere is no sun, but it’s still funThere’s a stallion there, don’t you know?Equus Altus, by Andy Scott, is situatedDeep in Trinity Leeds‘ beating heartHe’s the most handsome hunk in the herdCaught above some shopping cartsCan’t you hear him?Oh, he neighs so loudCasts his wild note over the gobsmacked crowd That’s the … Continue reading Equus Altus, Leeds, England

Entrust, Keswick, England

Bubbling brooks blooming with brown trout. Mountain pathways, heavy with primrose, enticing the curious towards vantage points high above mist-filled valleys. Ancient villages, swarming with plump-cheeked villagers, beckoning wandering souls with a swarthy assortment of relishes, chutneys, and hand-knitted goods at reasonable prices. The Lake District of Northwest England is one of the most spectacular settings on Earth, and provides the perfect backdrop for a … Continue reading Entrust, Keswick, England

The Giant Sofa, Sydenham, NSW

Yawn! Whatever, guys, I’m burnt out with travelling the globe in an endless quest for Big Things, and can’t even be bothered to get off the lounge. I’m just going to lay here eating popcorn chicken and binge-watching TikTok videos of people eating popcorn chicken. The sofa I’ve chosen to take refuge upon is, of course, a giant one, and can be found betwixt the … Continue reading The Giant Sofa, Sydenham, NSW

Monumento A La Paz, Guatemala City

Give peace a chance! Oi, thicko, I said give peace a chance, or I’ll knock ya bloomin’ teeth down ya throat! Tee-hee, how did you like my tough guy impersonation? I workshopped it for months with my acting coach Reuben, before boarding the Land of the Bigs private jet for my visit to the machismo-fuelled Central American hotpot of Guatemala. The region’s earned a bad … Continue reading Monumento A La Paz, Guatemala City

Fiddler’s Green, North Shields, England

He was an old man who fished alone by the coast of Newcastle upon Tyne and he had gone five years now – ever since his arrival on September 24, 2017 – without taking a fish. For a few days in late-2022 an Australian boy named Bigs Bardot had been with him. But after some time without a fish the local chavs had told Bigs … Continue reading Fiddler’s Green, North Shields, England

Almost Once, Sydney, NSW

¡Ay Caramba! Hola, is me, El Grande Gonzales, greatest luchador in all México. As a red-blooded Latino it is in mi carazón to fight, so when I was invited to a big match in Sydney, I fly there straight away. Boy, are my arms tired! Sí, Gonzales also greatest comedian in all México! But when I arrive do I find my greatest rival, Juan Carlos … Continue reading Almost Once, Sydney, NSW

Iguana, Isla Mujeres, México

A tropical island full of women sounds like Hell on Earth to a man of my tastes, so it would take something special to lure me towards México’s Isla Mujeres. That something special arrived in the shape of an enormous iguana – named, creatively, Iguana – and so off I popped to the sultry Island of Women. Isla Mujeres rests a few kilometres off the … Continue reading Iguana, Isla Mujeres, México

Kangaroo Kat, Carrara, QLD

Hop along to Carrara Markets to meet Kat, the world’s largest wooden kangaroo. This five-metre-tall marsupial mixes brutalist design philosophies with a fun, quirky and approachable sense of honesty. You can even climb into her prodigious pouch to live out your fantasies of being a joey! Kat bounded into the Gold Coast in 2016 (which was, appropriately, a leap year), and is the passion project … Continue reading Kangaroo Kat, Carrara, QLD

Big Bird, Blackpool, England

They smell funny, strut around with their chests puffed out looking for fights, and love to eat rubbish they find on the ground. But enough about the good people of Blackpool, we’re here to talk about pigeons. Of course I’m kidding; Blackpudlians are warm-hearted, perspicacious people (and I don’t want to get glassed next time I’m in town for a drag show!). Standing 3.5 metres … Continue reading Big Bird, Blackpool, England

The Cyberdogs, Camden Town, England

I would like to address claims that I, the inimitable Bigs Bardot, was seen scurrying from the bowels of one of London’s most notorious adult shops, beanie pulled down to conceal my identity. The shameful accusations – printed in many of the UK’s most contemptible tabloids – could not be further from reality. The truth is that I was forced to pompously prance through the … Continue reading The Cyberdogs, Camden Town, England

The Big Avocado, Duranbah, NSW

She’s green, she’s a queen, and she needs to be seen – get your sourdough toast ready for the scrumptious Big Avocado. This four-metre marvel can be found at Tropical Fruit World, and is exocarp-ly guac you’ve been looking for. The Big Avocado was revealed to a curious public in 1983, promoting what was then known as Avocadoland. Still a working farm, the renamed Fruit … Continue reading The Big Avocado, Duranbah, NSW

Clawdia, Cancún, México

It’s common to catch crabs in Cancún and, with cuties like Clawdia, that’s cause for shellebration. Just look at her melon-heavy cephalothorax – who wouldn’t want to drizzle lemon juice all over it 🥵 The leggy Latina lives atop Ferry’s Cantina, which is famous throughout México for its fresh fish tacos and all-you-clam-eat lobster burritos. I’m on a low-crabohydrate diet, so went with a nip … Continue reading Clawdia, Cancún, México

The Big Avocado, Alstonville, NSW

Long before the humble ‘avo’ became the brunch of choice for perpetual children the world over, the Big Avocado was providing comfort and companionship to the damaged kiddies of Australia – including a very young Biggles Leticia Bardot. Aw, just look at how gosh darn cute we both were! The riboflavin-rich ragamuffin stood sentinel outside the House with No Steps in leafy Alstonville for time … Continue reading The Big Avocado, Alstonville, NSW

The Big Orange, Dania Beach, Florida

Beg, borrow or peel, because the time is ripe to orange a visit to the sweet seaside village of Dania Beach, where The Big Orange is open all year rind. Squeeze be advised that this mandarin-credible roadside attraction can be found round the side of Alex’s Flamingo Groves & Gift Shop. Pre-pear for a bargain, as prices have been rejuiced! You might find my jokes … Continue reading The Big Orange, Dania Beach, Florida

Klaws Kinski, Tweed Heads, NSW

A single, trembling chela drew me closer. A set of bulbous eyes crawled across my lithe body. Shivers ran down my spine and, for the briefest of moments, I contemplated following my deepest carnal urges. Then reason returned and I struggled against the advances of the massive crustacean. Klaws Kinski, with his movie star good looks and bad boy swagger, was the sort of enormous … Continue reading Klaws Kinski, Tweed Heads, NSW

The Big Prawn, Tweed Heads, NSW

Liam Hemsworth. Luke Wilson. Dewey Schwarzenegger. Being the lesser-known brother of a beloved celebrity can be a heartbreaking struggle – just ask wannabe actor Bronson Pinchot (née Bardot), who will go to any lengths to step out of my shadow. And so it is for the Big Prawn at Tweed Heads, who will forever be compared to his much larger sibling in nearby Ballina. This … Continue reading The Big Prawn, Tweed Heads, NSW

Thrive, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Fort you’d seen everything Lauderdale has to offer? Then allow Thrive to cement your decision to return to this tropical paradise. This 27-foot-tall bombshell, designed by delightful South African artiste Daniel Popper, can be found begging for attention on a dank street corner beneath an apartment block – but she’s certainly no street walker. Well, she doesn’t have any legs, does she? What Thrive does … Continue reading Thrive, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

The Big Motorcycle, Mooball, NSW

Moo Moove over, because there’s a really cool motorbike coming through! Permanently parked across the road from the Moo Moo Roadhouse, this super-sized superbike is three times the height of the one Wayne Rainey rode to the MotoGP world championship in 1992. Yessir, this replica Yamaha YZR500 is nigh-on identical to the one made famous by the legendary American, with everything from the spring forks … Continue reading The Big Motorcycle, Mooball, NSW

Monument to the War of 1812, Toronto, ON

War, huh, yeah!What is it good for?Absolutely nothing other than creating an awesome Big, uhh! War, ebony heartthrob Edwin Starr once sang, should be despised as it means the destruction of innocent lives. But war was also the inspiration for these remarkable Toy Soldiers, so I guess it’s not all bad. Officially known as Monument to the War of 1812, these sexy servicemen have turned … Continue reading Monument to the War of 1812, Toronto, ON

Katey Seagull, Tugun, QLD

Put the hot chips away, because the Gold Coast has been taken over by a behemoth beach chicken with an amazing appetite. Fortunately, Katey Seagull is as hungry for hugs as she is for deep-fried potatoes. Named after glamorous Married… With Children actress Katey Sagal, this super-sized seabird has made her nest out front of the Tugun Domestic and Commercial Waste Facility. Leggy Katey was … Continue reading Katey Seagull, Tugun, QLD

Immigrant Family, Toronto, Ontario

They’re a weird mob, these immigrants. With their moon-shaped heads, olive skin and bizarre clothing, they just don’t look like us. And, of course, they’ve already had a baby! And the father’s wearing a tie, so he’s probably after jobs that the rest of us would never consider doing in the first place. Soon there’ll be so many immigrants that you won’t be able to … Continue reading Immigrant Family, Toronto, Ontario

The Man on the Bike, Tallebudgera, QLD

The Man on the Bike has been the heart and soul of the Tallebudgera Valley for more than four decades, and anyone who says otherwise is pedalling misinformation. The dapper gentleman, complete with boater and bowtie, coasted into the Gold Coast in 1970 when the tandem of Cliff Douglas and shock jock Bob Rogers bought him from a ski school. I guess he could snow … Continue reading The Man on the Bike, Tallebudgera, QLD

The Giant Picnic Table, Toronto, Ontario

“Everybody Wants Big Things” by The Sit Remedy Everybody wants to eat somethingFrom the Giant Table’s topEverybody wants somethingThey’ll try to climb itBut never get up Everybody get readyWith sandwiches and beerThe Harbour Square sensation,The only and onlyGiant Picnic Table’s here Everybody face up toThe facts as they areYou have to seat itTo believe it ‘cos it’sThe size of a car! A word on Colin … Continue reading The Giant Picnic Table, Toronto, Ontario

Maddie and Mike, Southport, QLD

The mournful cry of a kookaburra swept across the frozen valley, and then the world was blanketed by deep, velvety silence. Within our lonely cabin, a carefully-prepared platter of calamari linguine lay restlessly upon the kitchen table, unloved and cooling as the interminable minutes ticked by. Gordon Shumway, my lifelong partner and bosom friend, was late home from work again. Welcome to the worst days … Continue reading Maddie and Mike, Southport, QLD

Uniform Measure/STACK, Toronto, Ontario

Sew, you want to visit Toronto’s most fashionable tourist attraction? Then it’s thimble – oops, I mean simple! Pop over to the corner of Richmond and Spadina, where you’ll find Uniform Measure/STACK, a three-metre-tall Big Thimble that seams too good to be true. Needles to say, you’ll have a great time! This zany bunch of buttons and bits and bobs was patched together by the … Continue reading Uniform Measure/STACK, Toronto, Ontario

The Big Guitar, Surfers Paradise, QLD

“While My Big Guitar Gently Weeps” I look at the Hard Rock Cafe, see the people there eatingWhile my Big Guitar gently weepsMy love for him will not be fleetingStill my Big Guitar gently weeps I don’t know why nobody told youThe Guitar was installed in ’96It cost half-a-million to mould youI long to hold you In 2004 I noticed the Big Guitar was burningYes, … Continue reading The Big Guitar, Surfers Paradise, QLD

The World’s Largest Dinosaur, Drumheller, AB

Sixty-seven million years ago, when rivers ran red with molten magma, the towering tyrannosaurus traipsed across the bleeding badlands we now call Canada. Standing six-metres tall and with a head full of lancinating ivories, this terrifying thunder lizard tore all before her to shreds. Well, it’s 2022, and the tyrannosaurus has evolved. Now seven-storeys tall and capable of gobbling dozens of bemused tourists at once, … Continue reading The World’s Largest Dinosaur, Drumheller, AB

Wally the Walnut, Toronto, Ontario

Hey you! Yeah, you, reading this! You belong in the nuthouse! Tee-hee, don’t worry, the inimitable Bigs Bardot hasn’t gone mad and resorted to cyber bullying. I’m merely suggesting that you visit the Nuthouse food emporium in Toronto’s eclectic West End. There you’ll find a wondrous walnut large enough to feed a family of chipmunks for a year. Wally, as he’s known to the ragtag … Continue reading Wally the Walnut, Toronto, Ontario

The Big Octopus, Surfers Paradise, QLD

Believe it or not! The Gold Coast is home to the largest octopus in the whole dang world! Ladies and jellyfish, please welcome Ring-O, starr of the glitter strip! The nine-metre-wide Big Octopus wiggled into Cavill Avenue, Surfers Paradise, in Octo-ber 2020, making a home for himself above the popular Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! odditorium. He was cephala-produced by local company Pico-Play, and I … Continue reading The Big Octopus, Surfers Paradise, QLD

The Brotherhood of Mankind, Calgary, AB

If you ever see a bunch of naked weirdos frolicking in a park, run the other way – unless you’re in downtown Calgary! There you’ll find 10 very large, very nude individuals of indeterminate gender, enjoying the Alberta sun upon their ebony skin. Known as The Brotherhood of Mankind, the 6.5-metre-tall naturists were created by Spanish artist Mario Armengol, as part of the British Pavilion … Continue reading The Brotherhood of Mankind, Calgary, AB

Geckomania, Southport, QLD

The Gold Coast is all about sun, surf and squamates, because the city’s been seized by a set of bug-eyed bad boys who love laying the smackdown on each other. Welcome to Geckomania! These beaut newts are in a three-way battle to become the Heavyweight Champion of Your Heart. I’m not sure what style of wrestling they’re practising, but I’d assume it’s Gecko-Roman. The suave … Continue reading Geckomania, Southport, QLD

Squirt the Skunk, Beiseker, Alberta

Ewww, who farted? It must’ve been Squirt the Skunk, but we’ll forgive him because he’s just soooo dang cute! Chubby and cheerful, Squirt’s been stinkin’ up the Beseiker Municipal Campground since 1992. Clutching a bouquet of flowers in a futile attempt to mask his acrid stench, this bucktoothed beauty demands that visitors ‘have a nice spray!’ But how did a 13-foot skunk end up in … Continue reading Squirt the Skunk, Beiseker, Alberta

Bigfoot, Surfers Paradise, QLD

Bigfoot is sick of hiding, and has retired to an exclusive beachside chateau on the Gold Coast. The legendary monster now spends his days perusing the local tattoo dens, dodging drunks in Cavill Avenue and tanning himself to a crisp on Surfers Paradise beach. Bigfoot’s Cave can be found in the midst of the verdant McIntosh Island Park, and can be reached via a baroque … Continue reading Bigfoot, Surfers Paradise, QLD

The Big Apple, Acacia Ridge, QLD

Bright red and perfectly spherical, the Acacia Ridge Big Apple lures in unsuspecting visitors with the promise of a wholesome photo opportunity. But be warned, because this scarlet woman is rotten to the core. Disarmingly located in a suburban car park, the innocent-looking treat is surrounded by a dog-grooming salon and a well-stocked ethnic supermarket. It’s an idyllic slice of Australiana – or so I … Continue reading The Big Apple, Acacia Ridge, QLD

Western Wayne, Airdrie, Alberta

Listen up, pardner. If you’re planning to pinch a caravan from Airdrie, north of Calgary, think again. Western Wayne, a 30-foot cowboy with a huge hat and a mean disposition, guards the Western RV caravan shop… and this Big shoots first and asks questions later! Wearing a tough-guy snarl reminiscent of a young Sam Elliott, Wayne’s towered over Alberta’s desolate prairies for decades. He’s impossible … Continue reading Western Wayne, Airdrie, Alberta

Wonderland, Calgary, Alberta

Canada’s Big Things just get curiouser and curiouser! Wonderland is a real head-turner, standing necks to the remarkable Bow building in downtown Calgary. It was unveiled in 2012 by Spanish sculptor Jaume Plensa – an artist who openly admits to having a big head. The cheeky bent-wire masterpiece is an incr-head-able 12 metres tall, with two openings for ear-ger visitors to walk through. Wonderland seems … Continue reading Wonderland, Calgary, Alberta

The Giant Raspberries, Abbotsford, BC

The time is ripe to visit Abbotsford, the Raspberry Capital of Canada! There you’ll find a quintet of ravishing, robust, rubenesque Raspberries red-dy to roll into your heart. The Giant Raspberries were created by local artist Manjit Sandhu and sprouted out of the verdant British Columbian soil in late 2011. They decorate a roundabout a few minutes west of town where, not surprisingly, there’s been … Continue reading The Giant Raspberries, Abbotsford, BC

Ally the Alpaca, One Mile, QLD

Dropping the little ones off at pre-school is a heart-wrenching experience for any parent. But the mummies and daddies of Ipswich can rest easy in the knowledge their kiddies are being cared for by a bizarre giraffe/alpaca/human hybrid with a stylish bob. Ally the Alpaca is the star employee at Ally’s Kindy in the trendy suburb of One Mile, and is the wackiest Big Thing … Continue reading Ally the Alpaca, One Mile, QLD

A-maze-ing Laughter, Vancouver, BC

What’s better than a half-naked contemporary Chinese artist with a great sense of humour and abs to die for? How about 14 half-naked contemporary Chinese artists with great senses of humour and abs to die for! A-maze-ing Laughter was created by bonkers Beijing-based artiste Yue Minjin, a chap so pleased with his own appearance that he created over a dozen clones and dropped them off … Continue reading A-maze-ing Laughter, Vancouver, BC

The Camira Critters, Camira, QLD

Howdy pardner, this is your hat-wearing hawtie Biggie the Kid! I don’t mind a cockatoo, so when word rang round the holler that a gang of giant birds was causin’ trouble out near Ipswich, I jumped on my trusty stead Liberace and moseyed on out to the badlands of Camira. The settlement’s welcome sign has long been a thing of cotton-pickin’ beauty, and a source … Continue reading The Camira Critters, Camira, QLD

Digital Orca, Vancouver, BC

There’s a killer on the loose at the Vancouver waterfront, but nobody’s blubbering about it! Looking like he’s jumped out of a 1980s video game and into your heart, Digital Orca was created by the dashing Douglas Coupland and made a splash when fin-stalled in 2009. Flanked by the pristine waters of Vancouver Harbour and framed by the majestic North Shore Mountains, there are few … Continue reading Digital Orca, Vancouver, BC

The Big Honeyeater, Logan Reserve, QLD

I believe I can flyI believe I can kiss this big guyI think about Big Blue every night and dayHis handsome wings take my breath awayI believe he wants moreCuddlin’ each other till we’re both soreI believe I can flyI believe Big Blue’s all mineI believe he’s my guy (wooooooo) The words of urban visionary R-Kelly resonate with visitors to The Big Blue-Faced Honeyeater, who … Continue reading The Big Honeyeater, Logan Reserve, QLD

The Big Drill Bit, Vancouver, BC

This is not a drill! Please drop everything and make your way to the PetSmart store in north-eastern Vancouver. I repeat this is not a drill! What you’ll find when you reach the designated assembly point is a drill, however – The Big Drill Bit! Don’t ask me why a pet shop has a gargantuan gimlet out the front. The Canadians are a quirky bunch … Continue reading The Big Drill Bit, Vancouver, BC

The Big Pie, Yatala, QLD

Feeling famished on the long trip between Brisbane and the Gold Coast? Then bake a stop in Yatala for the best snacks money can pie. The pastries from world famous Yatala Pies receive g-rave-y reviews and are truly to pie for! This crust-see attraction is easy to spot – just keep a pie out for the super-sized snack out the front, which sits atop a … Continue reading The Big Pie, Yatala, QLD

The Viking, Burnaby, British Columbia

Whilst the days of horned warriors raping and pillaging their way through the suburbs of Vancouver are largely behind us, one nordic bad boy still strikes terror into the hearts of those who oppose him. Thankfully The Viking, who guards the entrance to the prestigious Burnaby North Secondary School, saves his rage for any child foolish enough to compete against the local football team. It’s … Continue reading The Viking, Burnaby, British Columbia

The Big Red Belly, Maudsland, QLD

Do you have a viper-active child with heaps of ser-pent-up energy? Want to put a great big reptile on their face? Maybe you’re just after a quiet spot to sit and enjoy a meat pie-thon? Then give the Big Red Belly a try-pan! Located in sprawling Gibirrngaan Park within Maudsland’s exclusive Huntington Estates (which, sadly, doesn’t offer anaconda-miniums), the Big Red Bellied Black Snake is … Continue reading The Big Red Belly, Maudsland, QLD

The World’s Tallest Tin Soldier, New Westminster, BC

Ah, Canadians, they’re so nice, eh! Just look at the charming grin and snappy tunic on the World’s Tallest Tin Soldier, who is about as far from an unbridled killing machine as you can get. Couldn’t you just pinch those chubby cheeks! Standing chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in and 9.75 metres tall, this tin-credible specimen wears size 60 E27 boots and weighs … Continue reading The World’s Tallest Tin Soldier, New Westminster, BC

The Big Wheelie Bin, Helensvale, QLD

I’ve bin everywhere, man, I’ve bin everywhere! But few places can rival the majesty and mystique of Helensvale Waste & Recycling Centre – home of the Otto-ly delightful Big Wheelie Bin. At a dump-foundingly impressive three metres tall, the Bin is wheelie easy to find in the heart of the Gold Coast. He’s fun for Big Thing enthusiasts of all garb-ages, so bring the whole … Continue reading The Big Wheelie Bin, Helensvale, QLD

The Big Marlin, Iluka, NSW

The old man’s hands belied their age as he nimbly manoeuvred the thawing prawn onto the hook; in through the head and out through the belly, as always. I feigned disgust, of course, but the process fascinated me. “Next time, Bigs, you’ll be baiting your own hook,” he said in his usual brusk tone, then handed over the rod and reel. Our eyes and smiles … Continue reading The Big Marlin, Iluka, NSW

Dirrawuhn the Big Goanna, Lismore, NSW

Hell came to Lismore in early 2022, when a wall of water surged through the northern New South Wales town and consumed everything before it. Lives and homes and businesses were obliterated as weeks of wild weather caused flood waters to reach an incredible 15 metres. With official rescue efforts consumed by chaos, survivors were left stranded on rooftops for days as the nightmare worsened. … Continue reading Dirrawuhn the Big Goanna, Lismore, NSW

The Fremont Troll, Fremont, Washington

Once upon a time there were three Biggie Goats Gruff, who lived inside a giant pineapple in the magical Kingdom of Australia. There was a handsome Biggy Goat Gruff, an even handsomer Biggie Goat Gruff, and a third Biggie Goat Gruff who was so super handsome that women – and even some of the more emotionally-resilient men – would weep at his feet as he … Continue reading The Fremont Troll, Fremont, Washington

The Mitt, Seattle, Washington

Next time you’re in Seattle, make sure to catch The Mitt! At nine-foot-tall and 14-foot-wide, he’s very hand-some and stands outside the northern end zone of T-Mobile Park, home of the be-glove-d Mariners baseball squad. If you’re a sports lover, you should be dribbling in anticipation for this one! Needing an icon for their new baseballing facility when it opened in 1999, the Mariners scrimmaged … Continue reading The Mitt, Seattle, Washington

The Undaunted Spirit, Fremont, Washington

Are you teddy for a good time? Then track down this snout-standing bronze bear, who is paws-ibly the hairiest, scariest, most delicious chap in Seattle. Trust me, you’ll fang me for it later! Known as The Undaunted Spirit, the giant grizzly can be found outside the un-bear-lievably bargain-priced Brown Bear Car Wash. They boast centres across the hiber-nation, most with ultra-sized ursidaes out the front. … Continue reading The Undaunted Spirit, Fremont, Washington

The Big Marlin, Kahuku, Hawai’i

Ohh MarlinMy Marlin you’re so fineOhhhh-hhh-hhh Don’t know if words can sayBut Marlin I want to playWith you in the endless turquoise seaBut it isn’t meant to be‘Cos you’re a work of wooden artAnd in the ocean you will fall apart Oh Marlin’I dream about you often my pretty Marlin’(Marlin’ you’re so fine)I love the way you lure tourists into Ohana Island CreationsWhere they can … Continue reading The Big Marlin, Kahuku, Hawai’i

Cunningham’s Bananas, Coffs Harbour, NSW

Coffs Harbour is the town built on bananas – quite literally. The bendy yellow wonders are so abundant that the locals have been making their houses out of banana peels and leaves for years. Ripe that smile off your face! It’s a berry serious safety issue and has led to a bunch of serious accidents over the years. The upshot is that the good folk … Continue reading Cunningham’s Bananas, Coffs Harbour, NSW

Lenin Statue, Fremont, Washington

Vladimir Lenin was responsible for the brutal slaughter of five million people, but this tribute to the deranged dictator is plenty of fun to take photos with, so I’m sure we can all look past that! Yes, it’s unusual – although far from unheard of – to find a massive recreation of a cold-hearted killer, and the story of how he arrived in the liberal … Continue reading Lenin Statue, Fremont, Washington

The Big Spider, Seattle, Washington

Little Bigs BardotSat in a meadowOn a lovely Seattle dayThere came a Big Spider,Who sat down beside herAnd frightened Bigs Bardot away Seattle’s monumental Big Spider is a load of rubbish – and I mean that in the kindest way possible! Your valiant reporter, the inimitable Bigs Bardot, was swaggering through the lively streets of Georgetown on my way to see Hat n’ Boots. Suddenly, … Continue reading The Big Spider, Seattle, Washington

Dreamer, Seattle, Washington

There once was a Big Thing named DreamerWho was created by Patti WarashinaShe looked quite delishAdmiring her fishOh, what a positive demeanour! On the corner of Westlake and RepublicanDreamer tempts like no other canShe’s 18 feet longAnd great at ping pong!With tootsies larger than those of a pelican One day came a boy from AustraliaWhose hunt for Big Things was no failureBardot was his nameLarge … Continue reading Dreamer, Seattle, Washington

World’s Largest Trophy Cup, Seattle, WA

A visit to the World’s Largest Trophy Cup is always an awarding experience. The gleaming golden goblet rests atop Athletic Awards in downtown Seattle, and serves as a source of hope for this proud sporting city. The shop has been around in one form or another since 1949, but it wasn’t until they lifted the prodigious prize in 1983 that business started booming. Since then, … Continue reading World’s Largest Trophy Cup, Seattle, WA

Sonic Bloom, Seattle, Washington

Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Macklemore. Seattle has produced some of the world’s greatest musical acts, so it’s no surprise that even their Big Things love to sing. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sonic Bloom onto the stage! Wander cautiously up to one of these 40-foot-tall flowers and he or she will regale you with a melodic ditty. Each of the five blossoms has a unique personality … Continue reading Sonic Bloom, Seattle, Washington

World’s Biggest Fork, Fairview, Oregon

The picturesque Portland suburb of Fairview cutlery-cently welcomed an enormous fork that, at 37 feet from gleaming handle to quad-pronged bottom, is the very largest on Earth. Yes, Fairview has always been a knife town to visit, but now it’s the plates to be! It’s even larger than Australia’s most massive forks, so just imagine the size of the potatoes you could skewer with it. … Continue reading World’s Biggest Fork, Fairview, Oregon

The Big Beehive, Urunga, NSW

SugarOh, honey, honeyYou are my Big BeehiveAnd you got me wanting you For an adventure that’ll leave you buzzing, visit the sweetest place on the NSW North Coast – the Big Beehive! This spiracle of modern architecture stands four metres tall and serves as the entranceway to bee-loved local business the Honey Place. No need to comb the surroundings, because it’s easy to find at … Continue reading The Big Beehive, Urunga, NSW

The Big Bowerbird, Raleigh, NSW

The benevolent bowerbird is nature’s great recycler, borrowing anything bright and blue to beautify his abode. Bonza bloke Nick Warfield is the mid-north coast’s great recycler, borrowing anything bright and blue to build the beautiful Big Bowerbird. The metal marvel has been lovingly pieced together from door handles, garden equipment, bike parts and even a few fans. I assume Nick used a crow bar and … Continue reading The Big Bowerbird, Raleigh, NSW

Hat n’ Boots, Seattle, Washington

Has anyone seen a giant, half-naked cowboy? No, no, I’m not looking for a date, I just want to let him know he left his Hat n’ Boots in a suburban park in Seattle, Washington. We’ve all been there before! The cap-tivating Hat n’ Boots have become icons of the Emerald City, but look ridiculously out of place in the nascent Oxbow Park, just down … Continue reading Hat n’ Boots, Seattle, Washington

The Big Water Dragon, Port Macquarie, NSW

Port Macquarie? More like Port Mac-don’t-worry, because there’s a giant aquatic lizard watching over the town! The Big Water Dragon was installed in 2017, as part of major upgrades to the historic Kooloonbung Creek Nature Park. The park is also home to over 100,000 flying foxes, who can be seen hanging from trees down by the well-maintained mangroves boardwalk. Sadly they’re all normally-sized and prone … Continue reading The Big Water Dragon, Port Macquarie, NSW

The Big Bowl, Lake Cathie, NSW

The delicate clink of plastic on plastic raises the crowd to a raucous crescendo, and my heart flutters as a sturdy set of hands fall upon my youthful shoulders. Peter, an older boy who has taken me under his wing and vowed to guide me through the cutthroat world of amateur youth lawn bowls, leans in a little closer. “Great shot, Bigs,” Peter whispers. “You’re … Continue reading The Big Bowl, Lake Cathie, NSW

Harvey the Rabbit, Aloha, Oregon

For more than half a century, Harvey the Rabbit has brought love and laughter to the good people of West Portland. The quirky 25-foot-tall bunny stands merrily beside the Tualitin Valley Highway in scenic Aloha, offering a big wave and a warm grin to generations of Oregonians. Most pass by, honk, and think no more of the brief encounter. But those brief moments are all … Continue reading Harvey the Rabbit, Aloha, Oregon

The World’s Tallest Barber Pole, Forest Grove, Oregon

As an admirer of all things Big and an ally of repressed minorities, I’m hesitant to present a roadside attraction that discriminates against those of us unable or unwilling to grow a full head of hair. My buzz cut is a fashion choice and I could boast a luxurious mane of amber curls at the click of a finger, but I stand in solidarity with … Continue reading The World’s Tallest Barber Pole, Forest Grove, Oregon

Paul Bunyan, Portland, Oregon

Meet Paul. He’s an outdoorsy, approachable fellow who enjoys artisanal pale ales, daring facial hair and the smell of fresh flannelette in the morning. Oh, and he’s also a 31-foot-tall giant who brandishes a monstrous axe with which to protect the good people of the Pacific North West. All together now; “Hi, Paul!” The mythical Mr Bunyan is a hero to people across America and … Continue reading Paul Bunyan, Portland, Oregon

Howie the Turtle, Oak Park, California

McLatchy Park, home to a happy-go-lucky turtle and a rag-tag selection of oversized fruit and junk food, seems like the happiest place on Earth. It’s hard to imagine that this tranquil slice of Californian suburbia was the site of one of history’s most tragic events. Joyland Amusement Park opened to a flabbergasted public in 1913, boasting a giant racer, swimming baths, and a zoo. There … Continue reading Howie the Turtle, Oak Park, California

King Kamehameha, Hilo, Hawai’i

Kamehameha the Great united the warring islands of Hawaii in 1810, bringing a new age of peace and prosperity to this tropical paradise. The inimitable Bigs Bardot united the world’s Big Things and roadside attractions under one website in 2021, bringing love and happiness and greater awareness of roadside attractions to every corner of the world (yes, even Нады́м, Россия – did you think I … Continue reading King Kamehameha, Hilo, Hawai’i

A Life’s Ride, Sacramento, California

When much-loved Sacramentonian cyclist Andy Yokoyama joined the big peloton in the sky in 2012, his death took the air out of the city’s tyres. But instead of spinning their wheels in mourning, the community jumped back in the saddle to create a fitting tribute to the bikable fellow. The result is A Life’s Ride, an astonishing piece from local artist Terrance Martin that’s chained … Continue reading A Life’s Ride, Sacramento, California

The Storyteller, Waikiki, Hawai’i

Yes, the rumours are true! Your friend Bigs Bardot has been seen swanning around Waikiki in the arms of a larger lady. This big, beautiful woman represents the storytellers and traditional keepers of Hawaii’s rich, diverse, exotic culture. I’m Australia’s leading historian on giant bits of fruit and animals the size of houses, so it’s no wonder we got along! The Storyteller, also known as … Continue reading The Storyteller, Waikiki, Hawai’i

Peace, Sacramento, California

Give peace a chance… or should that be give peace a HANDS. This massive set of mitts was created by the ever-talented Stephen Kaltenbach, and can be found right near the State Capitol in downtown Sac. When the world needed a hero, Steve was there to lend a hand, knuckling down to bring Sacramentonians a message of glove and harmony. The results, as you can … Continue reading Peace, Sacramento, California

Cupid’s Span, San Francisco, California

Many a tourist has left their heart in San Francisco, so of course there’s a Big Thing dedicated to love and romance right next to the Bay Bridge. Created by lovers Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen in 2002 and measuring an un-bow-lievable 18 metres from tip to amorous tip, Cupid’s Span quickly surpassed the Golden Gate Bridge as the bay city’s most photographed landmark. … Continue reading Cupid’s Span, San Francisco, California

The Water Giver, Honolulu, Hawai’i

Aloha, and greetings from the tropical wonderland of Hawai’i. Millions of people travel to this Pacific paradise for the golden beaches, bottomless drinks and topless women. But the most popular reason for visiting this alluring archipelago is the assortment of Big Things, with the Water Giver at the top of the list. Just look at his rippling muscles, square jaw and G-string that leaves little … Continue reading The Water Giver, Honolulu, Hawai’i

The Big Crab, San Francisco, California

“(Sittin’ With) the Crab for the Day” Sittin’ in the San Fran sunThe Crab’ll be snippin’ when the evenin’ comesWatching Bigs Bardot roll inThen he’ll make an excuse and scuttle away forever, yeah I’m sittin’ with the Crab for the dayWondering which way he sways, oohBecause it’s scientifically proven crabs can be gayCrustacean time! I left my home in GosfordHeaded for the Frisco Bay‘Cause I’ve … Continue reading The Big Crab, San Francisco, California

The Big Koala Family, Port Macquarie, NSW

We are familyI got all my koalas with meWe are familyGet up to Port Mac for this Big Thing Good things come in threes… or should I say Big Things come in TREES! Either way, this trio of torpid titans are the perfect embodiment of the modern euc-lear family. The Big Koala Family stand a grand total of eight metres tall and take pride of … Continue reading The Big Koala Family, Port Macquarie, NSW

The Big Bow and Arrow, Lake Innes, NSW

You’ll be quivering with excitement during an encounter with this archer-eally large Bow and Arrow. Just look at the size of that cock feather! You can find the Big Bow and Arrow outside the beloved Hastings Valley Archery Club, who hold regular open days to target new members. Apparently the shaft-erparties are not to be missed! Let me know if you’d like to give it … Continue reading The Big Bow and Arrow, Lake Innes, NSW

The Drip, Cowarra, NSW

H2-oh-my-gawd-it’s-awesome! The mesh-merizing Big Drip stands a pants-wetting 4.5 metres tall and can be found by the banks of the mouthwatering Cowarra Dam. The Drip made a splash when she was unveiled to a curious public in 2005, and has been making waves in the community ever since. Designed by aqueous artiste Peter Allison and crafted from rainless steel, the Drip is one of the … Continue reading The Drip, Cowarra, NSW

Joanna the Goanna, Taree, NSW

London. New York. Rio de Janeiro. Taree. There was a time, not too long ago, when this coastal oasis was one of the world’s great tourist destinations. With the Big Oyster luring fascinated fans in their millions, Taree was the playground of the rich and famous, and the centre of the Big Thing universe. Then this riverside paradise was bypassed by the Pacific Highway and … Continue reading Joanna the Goanna, Taree, NSW

The Big Bicycle, Chullora, NSW

This supersized scooter celebrates his 25th birthday in 2022, so it really let the air out of my tyres to find him discarded amongst a thicket of overgrown bushes in a rough part of Chullora. Although, given his location in Western Sydney, the only things more appropriate than a Big Abandoned Pushbike would be a Big Meth Pipe or a Big Single Mother. Ah, stereotypes, … Continue reading The Big Bicycle, Chullora, NSW

The Big Motorcycle, Nabiac, NSW

Get your motor runnin’Head out on the Pacific HighwayLooking for a huge motorbikeThat will really make your day Yeah, the folks of Nabiac made it happenTheir National Motorcycle Museum is aceEnough room for everyone to visit at onceEight hundred classic bikes you’re not allowed to race Normal-sized bikes are frightenin’Almost make me chunder!But if that bike’s a Big ThingI just stare at it in wonder! … Continue reading The Big Motorcycle, Nabiac, NSW

The Rock, North Arm Cove, NSW

This 1/40th scale Ayers Rock was, by most measures, a full-scale failure. Poorly constructed and awkwardly located, the undersized Uluru was designed to offer an authentic outback experience, but instead presented an insight into the dark underbelly of Big Thing culture. The Rock fell into disrepair shortly after construction in the early ’90s, becoming the butt of jokes for generations of travellers along the Pacific … Continue reading The Rock, North Arm Cove, NSW

Big Joe, Kingswood, NSW

Knights once roamed the vast plains of Penrith, slaying dragons and making inappropriate comments towards fair maidens. But with a severe shortage of snarling serpents in Sydney’s suburbs and the rise of the #MeToo movement, this silver stud was forced to transition into a new career. Meet Big Joe – friendly neighbourhood mechanic and undisputed King of the ‘Wood! This great big grease monkey is … Continue reading Big Joe, Kingswood, NSW

Die Große Laterne, Cooma, NSW

Guten tag, mein little schnitzels, und willkommen to Miss Heidi’s Austrian Teahouse! Zis is your favourite fräulein Günther von Bigs, here to enlighten you about Die Große Laterne. Ja, I think zat translates to ‘The Big Lantern’ in your wunderbar language. Zis niedlich roadside attraction can be found out ze front of zis historic restaurant near Vienna. Nein, I mean Cooma – I always get … Continue reading Die Große Laterne, Cooma, NSW

The Big Trout, Adaminaby, NSW

Anglers love trawling the crystal clear waters of Adaminaby, a charming poplar-lined village nestled high in the Snowy Mountains. But it’s snow laughing matter when I say the main attraction is the Big Trout which, at 10 metres and 2.5 tonnes, is o-fish-ally the largest aquatic, craniate, gill-bearing animal in the tunaverse! Living on prime eel estate in the i-gill-ic Lions Park in the centre … Continue reading The Big Trout, Adaminaby, NSW

The Big Fish Head, Khancoban, NSW

“Gimme Fish Head” by The Stingray-diators Gimme fish head babyGimme fish head like you did just last nightAh, ah, ah! Even when Khancoban‘s a hundred degreesThere you are smiling at me amongst the treesYou stink in the sun, but are still funWith no body, you must be dead, are you dead?But I don’t care, I love you, Big Fish HeadYou’re a fish headYou’re a fish … Continue reading The Big Fish Head, Khancoban, NSW

Gabby the Yabby, Bringenbrong, NSW

Howdy pardners, I’m Biggie the Kid, but you can go right ahead and call me the Kutest Kowboy in Khancoban. That’s KKK for short, although for some reason the locals get mighty worked up when I tell ’em that. Yee-haw! Yours truly has been steppin’ out with the best-looking girl in the nearby village of Bringenbrong. Naw, not Mary-Sue Nowinski – she never has been … Continue reading Gabby the Yabby, Bringenbrong, NSW

The Big Murray Cod, Tintaldra, Vic

Tintaldra is an indigenous word that roughly translates to ‘a young man by the water’. I’m not sure what the indigenous word for ‘a young man by the water, admiring a predatory perch of epic proportions, before retiring to the nearby historic hotel for a glass of economically-priced pinot noir and a portion of the famous fish and chips’, but it might be time to … Continue reading The Big Murray Cod, Tintaldra, Vic

The Big Eagle, Mt Alfred, Vic

Hey hey hey, good old Big Eagle Rock’s here to stayI’m just crazy ’bout his wings – so smoothDoin’ the Big Eagle RockOh oh oh, don’t drive past, he’s nicer than a crowI’m just crazy ’bout his wings – so smoothDoin’ the Big Eagle Rock Watch out, there’s a hat thief about! This enormous Wedge-Tailed Eagle soars through the skies of northern Victoria, on a … Continue reading The Big Eagle, Mt Alfred, Vic

The Big Bogong Moth, Tintaldra, Vic

The tranquil hamlet of Corryong has been besieged by a plague of colossal creatures – and the locals couldn’t be happier! Since 2018 the verdant fields beside the mighty Murray River have welcomed friendly fish, a happy yabbie and an enormous eagle as focal points of the monumental Great River Road project. Fearing Corryong would lose its status as a world class travel destination, the … Continue reading The Big Bogong Moth, Tintaldra, Vic

The Big Rainbow Trout, Harrietville, Vic

Yibbida yibbida, this is fishing expert and notorious philanderer Rex Bardot, on the hunt for the Big Rainbow Trout! And look, there she is, out front of Mountain Fresh Trout & Salmon Farm. Trust me, folks, it doesn’t get any better than this! If she looks familiar, that’s because the Big Rainbow Trout was the star attraction of the 2006 Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony in … Continue reading The Big Rainbow Trout, Harrietville, Vic

The Big Octopus, Lakes Entrance, Vic

“The Big Octopus’s Garden” I’d like to beRight by the seaIn the Big Octopus’s gardenWearing suede He’d let me inTo see his collectionOf shells and coral and evenA model railway I’d ask my friendsTo come and seeThe Griffith’s Sea Shell MuseumWith me I’d like to danceThrough Lakes EntranceTo the Big Octopus’s gardenWithout my pants His cuddles have charmsBecause he has eight armsAfter admiring him for … Continue reading The Big Octopus, Lakes Entrance, Vic

The Big Clownfish, Lakes Entrance, Vic

Ladies and jellyfish, barras and gilas, pilchards of all ages. Please welcome the mystical, magical, great Big Clownfish! Bright and beautiful, this silly sausage is trapezy to find outside Lakes Caravilla Caravan Park, and you’ll feel like a bozo if you pass him by. He’s certainly hard to fish – I mean miss – because the tropical delight is right beside the main road into … Continue reading The Big Clownfish, Lakes Entrance, Vic

Chickaletta, Myrtlebank, Vic

Do you feel clucky, punk? Well, do you? Then pullet all the stops to flock down to Myrtlebank Roaming Farms, where you can chick out Chickaletta, a feathered friend of egg-straordinary proportions! Chickaletta was ass-hen-bled from rusted bike parts and old farming equipment – similar to Murray the Cod and the Big Kookaburra – but she’s far more than a poultry pile of old junk. … Continue reading Chickaletta, Myrtlebank, Vic

The Big Cigar, Churchill, Vic

Come to Churchill, dear boy, see the CigarYou’re gonna ooh and ah, you’re gonna sighYou’re never gonna cryYou can even touch it if you tryThe Cigar’s gonna love you Holy smokes, this stupendous stogie will light up your life! The 32-metre-tall Big Cigar was unveiled by the Victorian Housing Commission on December 21, 1967, as a symbol of hope for the fledgling community of Churchill. … Continue reading The Big Cigar, Churchill, Vic

The Big Spuds and Forks, Trafalgar, Vic

Howdy pardner, this is your old friend Biggie the Kid! Your regular host Bigs Bardot is struggling through a low-carb diet, so it’s up to me to tell you all about the Big Spuds and Forks. Just look at my tough-guy hat and genuine 18th-century baby blue short-shorts – yee-haw! Every man comes to a fork in the road at some point in his life, … Continue reading The Big Spuds and Forks, Trafalgar, Vic